Do you like being a parent?

From age 4+ I’ve loved it. It’s opened up my world so much.

I love my kids very much. But if I could do it all again, I would have stayed child free.

It is mind numbingly boring parenting a baby/toddler. I enjoyed primary school age, but now teenagers are moody wotnots!

If you get a baby that doesn't sleep, it is sheer torturous hell.

I had mine at 23 and 25.

I love being a parent in the main. I would do it again if I knew then what I knew now.

Yes sometimes the kids are annoying and frustrating, but it's great to see them grow and develop every day.

Mine are 17 and 11 now (and I was 21 and 26 when they were born) I honestly think there's never a good time to have kids, so if you know you want them, you might as well do it. Everything else will fall into place or you'll work for it. Where there's a will, there's a way.

I would have them again in a heartbeat. I was in my early twenties with my first and found that easier than my last ten years later. Childcare for one is much easier and available. Having them gave me a forced confidence which eventually became real. I had a good life before but my times with them (and my husband) have been so special and my life is better with them in it.
I will always worry, I will never fully “switch off” and my body is slightly battered but the joy they give me far outweighs the sleeplessness nights and the awkward play dates.

It's hard. I've gone through phases of enjoying and then not enjoying it tbh. When my life was settled and my kids were easier to deal with, I enjoyed it more. I'm now a single parent going through a divorce in my thirties after a few years of cancer treatment. I really struggle with parenting at the moment. I wish my children didn't need so much from me because I feel like I don't really have anything left to give. I feel so guilty that I feel this way! My children are 16 and 8 and their personalities are so much like their dad's rather than mine. I often find that hard to deal with because I just don't get them in the way that I'd like to. I'm hoping I'll enjoy it more again once my life isn't so difficult.

I dont enjoy it and I hate that I feel that way. DS is 23 months and the tantrums and defiance are more than I can handle. I find myself crying every day. I've struggled since he was born with PND and keep hoping things will improve but they just get worse. He was so, so wanted and as with others we spent thousands on ivf. I knew it would be hard but I wasn't prepared for how I would feel and react to the hard bits, I dont know how you possibly could know that. Of course I love him more than anything but I often don't like him very much. Here's hoping one day it will get better

It's the best thing in the world and I can't think of a single downside.

I was adamant I didn't want kids and had even asked to be sterilised in my 20s but changed my mind in my mid 30s and had dds at 38 and 40.
I'm not sure if I'd have felt differently if I'd had them younger as I'd have been sacrificing my social life plus wasn't financially secure.

However by my late 30s I could afford to go part time so can do the school runs which I love doing and had already got fed up of pubs and clubs so don't feel like I've made any sacrifices.

They are now 9 and 11 and my most favourite people in the world.

The thing is OP that there are so many variables & you just don’t know what you’ll get. You don’t know how the birth will be, what sort of newborn you’ll have, how much they’ll sleep, whether they’ll have additional needs. You don’t know whether you might get pnd or Covid or cancer or have a DC with autism that can no longer attend school (all things that happened to me!). I love my daughter with all my heart & I have no regrets but the poster saying that surely people must know what they’re getting in to with parenting is wrong. You really have no idea because it’s totally unpredictable!

As an aside my mum had me at 25 & I know she found parenting really hard & has been honest about that. It doesn’t make me feel sad at all because I know that she loves my sister & i. She’s just very honest about the fact that she’s an introvert & found the lack of downtime a challenge.

Good luck OP with whatever you decide.

Nothing comes close to it, for me anyway. I’m a SAHM to my DS, 2.5y, and I have never felt so happy and fulfilled before. He’s fantastic, just a happy, funny, fabulous little pal. I’m going away tomorrow for 6 days and I’m absolutely dreading it and wishing I never said I’d go because I’m going to miss him so much 🤣 I don’t get many hard days, they’re very few and far between, and they’re generally not down to DS exactly anyway.

Almost a year in and it has been the most wonderful experience! Everything she does is brilliant, funny, clever, adorable. Not biased obviously...

We waited so long for her (and spent a lot on IVF) which I do think makes us extra grateful to have her, but even without that I think we'd love it.

We didn't have her until 35 because of the fertility struggles, so we did have a lot of life experiences and freedom before her. There are still moments when I think "oh I'd really like to have a wild weekend at that festival" or even just go for a swim without having to think about when DH will be home to takeover. But our friends are at a similar life stage, so our social plans have adjusted. I think I'd feel quite differently if I'd had her young and was missing out on things my friends were doing.

26 is not that old, but it's also not that young for a child. I think it depends on where you live, your friendship group, where they're at in their lives.

This isn't true. I switched jobs and got a promotion with a 30% pay rise after my first. My life is so much happier since I had her.

I'm sorry for your experience, but before I had kids this sort of post made me unnecessarily worried.

My life is a million times better since I had my DD.

Agree with this!

Agree with all this ^

Funnily enough I'm type A at work but very relaxed in the home. I've loved being a parent and just rolled wth it - it's a lot nicer than I was expecting (every post I read online said it was hell and unmanageably hard)

I LOVE being a parent. However I have a big job, as does DH, and we split childcare completely equally, can afford help in the home. I think it'd be harder with less money - and without the balance of a career too - but tbh I'd probably still love it.

I used to come home from work and worry, now I come home and spend all evening playing and giggling with my one year old. There's no comparison that my life is a million times better (but a lot busier).

I enjoy it more now my ex husband has gone. For me being a single parent is more enjoyable me and my kids are a team. I enjoy it on the whole

It makes me feel so much better to see that, actually, it's not just me that doesn't enjoy being a parent. We're still relatively new to it and I felt/feel so guilty that I didn't get that life affirming moment that people talk about.

My DH works from home. We have a 3YO and 4MO. I'm sure that my experience as a parent has been made so much easier just by DH being around more to support me and to witness the challenges I experience day-to-day. So many mothers that I know complain that they're exhausted and feel like they're overloaded because their partners are unsupportive. These are the ones that question their choices.

The other factor, I think, is personality. If you're a Type A that likes things just so then you'll probably find it a lot harder to adapt to your new life. I think Type A parents struggle to accept that they no longer have complete autonomy. People that are more easy-going and chaos embracing tend to roll with the punches and enjoy the highs more in my opinion.

I've never regretted my choice. My life was completely full before children - degree, lots of travel, career with multiple promotions, hobbies, big reno project etc. The thing is, it doesn't matter if you have children at 26 or 36. You'll have a major lifestyle change for the same number of years either way. If your partner is a good one then go for it.

Hi!

I accidentally got pregnant when I was 23. This was two years ago (I'm 25).

I don't regret it at all. It's not been easy, but it is so rewarding and I love being a mum. I was scared at first, I cried when I saw the test come back positive. We weren't planning to start a family for quite a few years, so it was quite a shock.

I don't feel like I've missed out, if anything having a child has improved my social life as my friends love my son. Luckily we have our parents close by who don't mind watching him for an afternoon or overnight, so we still go to parties, concerts, the cinema, have dates just the two of us etc.

I'm actually relieved that I have my son (I'm one and done) and that it's all out of the way. I can't imagine life without him, he's so funny and so cheeky. I absolutely adore him.

I expected not to sleep and not to have time to myself so that wasn't a surprise but I don't think you can fully appreciate what being a parent entails until you've done it.

It's easy to focus on what life will be like immediately after having a baby, and what the longer term looks like only hits you later.

I don't love parenting every minute of every day, but the unconditional love I feel from and for my children is the world's greatest high. My only regret is not having children when I was younger. 26 would have been the perfect age for me (if I had met my husband by then, which I hadn't).

Possibly useful:

(1) keep your job going as much as possible, even if you're barely making any money after paying nursery fees - you will keep building seniority/pension contributions, and also gives you a break from the drudgery aspect. If you keep climbing the ranks, you can afford more childcare/a cleaner in a few years when they really get messy!

(2) parents/family may be less in a position to help in 10-15 years' time, depending on health/fitness/mobility.

My DC are 7 and 5 and they are wonderful and I love them more than anything. They’re funny and kind and so loving. I wish I could make the world better for them.

They both have additional needs and being their
mother has ended the life I had before. One of them is barely in school and I spend so much time fighting and navigating the SEN system and trying to get them the right support. Plus having to be a constant stable source of emotional regulation for them is incredibly draining. I am only a mother now. I hope that it will one day be easier and perhaps it will.

I’d say a lot of that is because your baby is still young. Before 10-12 months most babies can be fit into your life. It gets a little harder once they’ve dropped to one nap, and are active!

When did I say my daughter ruined my life?

I also never said I would have terminated, I said I can’t be sure I wouldn’t have.

It’s not your place to judge in general yet here you are. Clearly this is hitting a nerve because you’re really going ott here

it pritty much will be, especially the tantrums,, the lack of time for other duties etc yes i know there many positives too