He's emptied half the dishwasher wtf

I have the same issue even though I was the one to put all of the dishes in.. ! sometimes also only his plates are put away after meals even though I cooked that day. He used to do this with laundry too.. then one day he saw my dad who had come to visit take all the clothes in because it was starting to rain. He then started realising that it might be part of community work to take the laundry in when it starts to rain. No matter whose clothes it is.. It’s hard because I don’t want to do the same as him because this is not an attitude I want to follow … but I am so dreadfully tempted to show him what it’s like… love just drops considerably when these unpleasant signs of “take care of your own sh*” keep cropping up..

If only it were so easy to “allow” or “disallow” the thoughts, feelings and actions of others eh? There would be no more crime because none of us would “allow” ourselves or others to be victims.

Think for a millisecond what would happen to a poster who came on MN and stated what they “allowed” their partner to do and what they did not “allow” them to do. They’d be chased off their own thread with a mob baying at them, telling them that they had no right to control other people. Of course they could simply abandon their marriage/relationship at the drop of a hat in true LTB style but what about the practicalities? People in relationships normally lead intertwined lives. If they are both single, own their own properties, have no children or assets in common then, sure, why not pack up and leave but most relationships are very different from that scenario aren’t they?

Also, I’ve seen it stated on here, and I agree despite my own relationship eventually breaking down when my husband found a woman many years younger than myself suited him better, that relationships can be hard work at times, once the honeymoon phase ends and the reality of bill paying, cleaning up the house, emptying the bins or the dishwasher kicks in. But should we all jump ship at that point if our partner appears to be treating us unfairly? Sometimes the answer will be yes but at others talking to each other or a third party to resolve issues is better.

My ex was a very narcissistic man who also went on the carnivore diet. I don’t cook meat so he cooked it himself for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It absolutely stunk the kitchen, well the whole house, out for months on end. I hated it. Everything stank of stale fat from the curtains and carpets to my hair and clothes. We’d been married for a long time. Should I have “allowed” him to eat what he wanted? I didn’t like the stench so whose rights should have prevailed? Should I have controlled him to the point of dictating the food he ate? Or would that have infringed on his human rights to decide for himself what he ate? I think it would.

We all have both rights and responsibilities. Plenty of people are keener to claim the former and duck out of the latter. In short, no, people do not treat us according to what we “allow” and to say this to anyone is a prime example of victim blaming. Life is a complex mixture of rights, our own and those of others and they often impinge on each other. Glib sayings are just that, glib.

@justasking111 well if you were so bloody annoyed maybe you should've voiced that?

This is so sad to read @justasking111. I know you for donkeys years, on many mn threads, but this is just awful to read.

Lady, look at yourself in the mirror and say: I am here because I want to be here."

this

Yes it is relevant imo. If he was working full time and she didn't work at all, I'd expect her to do most stuff around the house. If they both worked full time, then I'd say it is to be shared.

I don't think that matters. He needs to pitch the lazy entitled assend

Are you the poster with the DH who dictates Christmas around his digestive system. Does this diet help or make it worse @justasking111

God imagine being at your stage of life of OP and still arguing over emptying the bloody dishwasher!

Why not divorce?

@newyearnewnothing you have been quite nasty really. Please leave @InShockHusbandLeaving alone.

Stop bloody attacking me!!! For effs sake you are relentless in your nasty pursuit of me. You are literally saying I have to leave the thread because of you. Why should I let you stop me contributing to this thread? I DO NOT allow you to insult me repeatedly nor do I allow you to drive me off this thread. Stop your nasty behaviour now!!

@InShockHusbandLeaving I've proved my original point and you've proven that original point !
I'm not attacking you.
You are just hard work and obviously bored.
Maybe over sensitive.
But hey ho...

YABU by staying with him and enabling him.

Why can’t he do his own shopping ?

Why do you feel the need to insult me over and over again? Do you think you’ve “won”? What have you won? You’ve proved that you’re really good at attacking anyone who disagrees with you but was that your goal? If so, why? Narcissism is rife these days. Just saying 🤭

@InShockHusbandLeaving you are proving my original point!
You keep engaging.
Like I said...
People treat you how you allow them to!
Point well an truly proven!

Did the botched operation also take away the ability to go shopping?

Sounds like all this is a problem to your own making

Sausages and liver and onions?! That's two meals

YABU for saying you 'sourced' groceries

More nasty attacks. I am not allowing you to attack me. There! That’ll stop you. Not. You are proving the point that I cannot stop you.