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AIBU?

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Original poster

If your parents offered to pay for school fees…

229 replies

Grosshesselohe · 27/02/2024 12:30

How do/did your adult siblings feel about this?

I’m talking about a situation where the parents are very comfortable financially and their adult children are employed in good professional jobs - but might struggle to pay school fees without some help.

In this situation, the sibling does not have school age children & does not want to be given the equivalent amount of £ to make things even.

They simply disagree with the parents helping at all and are now insinuating that they are being manipulated in some way.

AIBU to think the sibling should mind their own business?

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 27/02/2024 12:42

Well, ultimately it isn't the sibling's choice as to how their parents spend their money. But if they genuinely believe that their parents are being unfairly manipulated, then they are not unreasonable to raise this as a concern.

Given that they they have declined the offer of the same amount of money, their objections don't appear to be grounded in jealousy. Perhaps they want the parents to spend the money on enjoying their old age? Or to save it for their future care needs? They may feel that they are standing up for their parents' best interests.

Alternatively, they might just think that private education is a monumental waste of money. In which case, they are entitled to their opinion but it isn't really any of their business.

More info needed before I could make a judgement, I think.

Original poster
Grosshesselohe · 27/02/2024 12:41

uio · 27/02/2024 12:34

A relative pays for my youngest child's school fees. Nobody knows other than us (and my child) as we think it comes under the realm of 'finances' and so is private.

They haven't always paid for them, though. Only the last couple of years.

I do think the sibling, if they were told, ought to have more empathy or mind their own business.

Do you have any siblings?

OP posts:
Trickabrick · 27/02/2024 12:40

It is their business though if they genuinely feel the parents are being manipulated. If it’s just a moral objection then that’s different and isn’t their business.

I’d get something in writing to confirm the parents are paying the fees of their own free will, as a gift, in case the sibling raises it again when inheritance is an issue.

uio · 27/02/2024 12:34

A relative pays for my youngest child's school fees. Nobody knows other than us (and my child) as we think it comes under the realm of 'finances' and so is private.

They haven't always paid for them, though. Only the last couple of years.

I do think the sibling, if they were told, ought to have more empathy or mind their own business.