To leave 14 year old for 4 days with 18 year old sibling?

Same! Moved out at 18 - FT job, rented a flat in town with a friend 🫡

Mine were 17 and 14 when I started leaving them home. Set some firm rules about number of friends that can be in the house at any one time, and a list of expectations for as you walk in the door (eg all crockery etc in dishwasher, rubbish being emptied, kitchen floor and work surfaces clean). And give them two hours notice of when exactly you'll be home.

This, totally.
So many 18 year olds go on solo gap years/off to uni/ move out at 18. They are adults. As long as they get on ok and the 14 year old is respectful of their sibling being in charge then absolutely no reason why not.

I'm hoping to be able to leave my DC (15 and 13 currently) alone for a night in a years time. They don't like coming away with us, especially camping, and would prefer to stay at home than go to grandparents. I thought we would start with an overnight when we are less than 2 hours away (grandparents are closer) and see how it goes. They are very sensible and get on really well. I wouldn't do it till oldest is 16 but think it's a good intro to independence.

An 18 and 14 year old sounds fine, especially as there are people nearby in case of emergencies.

4 days is quite a little while though. Maybe overnight at first?

I'd feel confident to do that providing another adult was on call for any real emergency situation.

My 18yo drives so my main concern would be her disappearing off and leaving younger one alone too much but it would be a discussion I'd have with then prior to going. Both are capable of looking after pets.

I’m pretty sure I did this at similar ages and it was fine. But I had a 3rd child who was between those two. Also we had a dog to be cared for.

You know your kids best and I knew mine would be responsible in this scenario.

No, I wouldn't.

They'll be fine.

Leave plenty of grub and threaten them with Gőtterdämmerung if there is but a mote of dust out of place.

When you return to what may well resemble the aftermath of the Somme, give them hell and go to bed. Things will be better in the morning. Eat the chocolates you bought for them in front of them mumbling about consequences.

As long as no one is dead/missing/ pregnant you can chalk it up as a success. Plus you get extra chocolates to eat.

I think being in the middle of exams makes a difference, so I wouldn't agree to the yo7 get one staying. If the younger one causes chaos (late night music for example) it could affect the older one's exams

Yes I did with ds17 and dd14 a couple of years ago, they were fine. Dog came with me!

Yes I would and have.

cash, food, FaceTime (every 5 minutes from one of them 🙄)

it was fine!

a new Xbox game each oiled the waters as well

We left our then 18 year old with 15yo and 12yo for 6 days last year and it went well. Doing it again in 2 weeks for 9 days.

I have to call them for the school wake ups though!

We left an 18yr old, 17yr old and 15yr old for 9 days in 2019 - with dogs and cats - absolutely fine. Got a shop before we went. 18yr old could drive. The neighbour knew we had gone away. All sensible none drinkers - I think if one of them had been a party animal I might have been worried more but still would have done it. It surprises me how reluctant mn are to leave near and adult kids with any responsibility.

We left 17 & 14 for 9 days a few years ago, absolutely fine they had adults on hand they could ring if needed.

For me, if they are generally sensible, it would largely depend on the relationship between them. Do they "get on"? Would the elder 'abuse his power'? Would you be wrong to make the elder responsible for the younger? Would the younger be a shit? Would either of them do something irresponsible to put the other in a difficult position? etc etc Or could you trust them to be kind to each other and cooperate with each other?

It depends on your DC, and you know them best.

Me too. Its absolutely fine and should be encouraged.

I really don't see any issue with doing this.

You know your children and what they are capable of, most people will judge this on their own upbringing and their own children. Just because Mary was 10 years old and raised 20 siblings while working nights and going to school in the day doesn't mean every kid can.

You need to ask them what they'd prefer to do if there's different options, have some rules set out, ensure they have enough food in and money for takeaway, I'm sure you've taught them basic safety instructions over the years, they'll have any phone numbers they need, there's plenty of people near by that they can call upon.

They sound pretty competent, you tell them you are trusting them and try not to worry, the 1st time leaving them is the hardest, they manage fine, we worry.

Yes, I think I'd leave them. We did with ours at this age once when they didn't want to come up to Granny's for a few days. They were fine. They were sensible, and yours sound it too.

Also, I'd left home by 17!

Oh IF ONLY there were some way they could be left at home with some kind of magical communication device that could enable them to summon help from the fire brigade if they set the house on fire (because every unsupervised DC of a MNetter would set the house on fire), or contact OP or some other wise adult if the need should arise! Such a shame.

You know them, OP. What do THEY think?
Leave a list of jobs that each has to do on a particular day
Can you do a practice overnighter before you go?
How far away will you be?
I think better not on a school day/night - would school get a bit excited if they heard about this?

If the DC are happy to be left then it is fine, and well done for raising independent, confident teenagers.
My younger two were more than happy to be left (with dogs as well) for a few days, from the elder being 17, and overnight from 16.

Honestly I’d be disappointed if my kids were not capable of running things for 4 days and these ages. We do expect our kids to be very capable and independent though more than the norm.

The 14 year old will mostly be responsible for themselves and the animals.

The 18 year old's job is to deal with any emergencies which rarely happen.

Over decades plenty of teen kids have been left with a young adult sibling. In these cases it helps if you know the neighbours and have a few relatives/family friends nearby, who will intervene if asked.

And?! This 18 yo doesn’t / hasn’t chosen to have children and even if they had - you don’t argue with your own baby do you?! Being responsible for your own child and a sibling are two very different situations. Asking an 18 year old to be responsible for themselves, a house, pets and a younger sibling for 4 days is very much a large responsibility. Not sure where the armed forces come into it.