To leave 14 year old for 4 days with 18 year old sibling?

We did it last year, Mon-Fri, when ours were 15 and 19. They were fine. DS did sleep in one morning for school but it was a lesson learned and not an issue for me. No parties happened, DS made it to footy training, DD made it to work.

All our friends locally were aware they were on their own and were happy to be contacted in an emergency. Two of my friends walk past my house daily on their dog walk anyway and said they'd report back if anything looked askew.

The cats were fed (probably over fed!). The dishwasher had been run, the place was tidy enough.

We came home and treated them to some duty free perfumes, chocolate and a takeaway.

Later on in the year we left 15yr old DS on his own Friday to Sunday and he was fine.

I think we've got good kids, we've brought them up to be mostly sensible and independent and little things like this stand them in good stead for life.

And at least we discussed it before we went - unlike my own parents when I was 17 and my brother 15 - we came home to a note on the dining table saying "we've gone to Tenerife for a week. Here is £50 cash, look after the dog and phone your aunt if you need anything" !!!

Can just 1 of you go to the wedding?

No I wouldn't even consider this.

Mainly as your 18 year old is in the middle for exams. They need a quiet house and not being responsible for a 14 year old.

Yes of course 18 year old can be responsible but being responsible for your own baby/travelling is very different to a carefree 14 year old who is unlikely to listen to you tell them to wash up.

I think it's manageable if you had to go say single parent work trip but no way would I do this to a child in the middle of exams.

They need you there and definitely don't need more responsibility.

The 18 year old is in the middle of exams!

Be certain that you will be blamed if their results are poor.

For this reason alone I would not leave on a trip unless it was impossible not to go.

There is 3.5 years between mine and we did similar at similar ages.
Dc1 was probably 18.5 & ds2 15. I'd have done the same over the previous year, but it was peak covid so no one was going anywhere.

Dc2 is now 18 and if he had a younger sibling I'd do the same.

For me, it does depend on the dynamics of your children, potential local support etc.

Just go enjoy ya self I was left all alone with my request at 15 years old when my mum went to Greece for a week no siblings at home coz my sister went with her and she's younger than me anyway I had mates round we watched films and ate takeaways we didn't have raves but I was absolutely fine I loved it coz I felt so grown up and guess what I'm 39 now and still alive. Its not like you are leaving your youngest on their own they will have an adult (18+) there so go it's only a few nights u know your boys more than anyone on here does so don't take the negative nancies advice some ppl want to wrap their kids in cotton wool and never let them experience anything well the problem with that is without experiencing the bad they will never experience the good. Go with what your gut tells u not a bunch of strangers on the Internet that don't know your boys think.

I think 4 nights is too long for the 14 year old really. We left our DDs (18 and 15 at the time) for one night but I wouldn’t have done it for 4 nights.
Our youngest is moaning that they don’t want to go away if eldest isn’t coming anymore but it’s not really their choice at that age.

Install the housesitter - if they are happy to supervise / babysit 14yo. Tell 18 yo they are there for the dogs and the 14 yo. Then you won't have to worry. If 18 yo kicks off tell them it's due to the fact they have said they need to be free to study and you agree. If 14 yo wants to go to a friend for a night or two they can. 18yo may not like it but they've made their own bed really.

I don't actually think 18 & 14 is too young to be left but it sounds like 18 yo isn't interested in taking care of dogs or supervising sibling & just wants the house to themself. Which doesn't suit you..

I would, with written instructions! They’ll be fine.

They're on their own though, learning to look after themselves! It's the responsibility of another person that's the issue. (I have children of those ages)

Depends on the kids. Would have been fine with mine, but I do have my mother nearby & she could check them.

I think you need to build up to it slowly.
See if the 14yo can go somewhere else for a couple of days.

I would-and did leave mine. BUT they got on incredibly well- they are in their 20s now and have never fallen out or been mean to each other. Depends on the kids, I reckon.

I think it really depends on what your 18yo thinks, plus how sensible your 14yo is. At 19, I looked after my siblings age 13 and 17 for a similar time, including drivng my 13yo sister to school. It was uni holidays, so I wasn't stressed about work and was happy to help. If you have agreed expectations e.g. who walks the dogs, how much looking after the 18yo needs to do, and both are happy, then I think it's fine.

A four day wedding with no children? That would be a no from me.

I think it's fine if they are responsible and you trust them.

I would be happier for the 14 year old to go and stay with your parents for all or part of the weekend. It is too much of a risk when your older child needs to study. I would not be happy for the 14 year old to be out and about with friends and you not there to rescue them.

The 18 year old, I would be happy to leave and for them to care for the dogs.

I don’t think it’s obviously a terrible idea, but if you haven’t left them overnight before, then I don’t think a 4 day trip is a good idea to start with. Do you have time to try out a night or two away before the wedding? See how it goes and make your decision based on that?

as long as you can trust the 14 year old and 18 year old and don’t expect them to cause trouble then it should be fine

Use your judgement. When I was 16 my parents left me home alone for a few days and I had a wild and out of control party that really pissed all the neighbours off.

They still don't know about. Random people stared showing up, some much older and so much stuff could have been stolen or broken but thankfully wasn't. The pavement outside my house was covered in vomit and took ages to clean.

Depends on the kids. I had left home and had a full time job and rent to pay on a flat etc. My mum tried to leave my then 4 year old brother and 10 year old sister with me for 3 weeks whilst they went on a cruise I politely declined. There was a lot of abuse between my step dad and me (siblings dad) he was the reason I left. But I can't see many 18 year old being ok with that either. But if the 14 year old is sensible I would consider it.

I think 14 is too young to opt out of a family holiday so I’d expect him to go. Do you think he’d enjoy it when he got there? surely it was planned with him in mind?

If they get on and are happy to stay together I don't see a problem with it.