To leave 14 year old for 4 days with 18 year old sibling?

I think it’s really unfair on the 28 year old during their a levels

I have a real problem with 'oldest wouldn't want the dogs'. Who is this 18 yr old adult to decide whether or not he is to look after the family pets? I like to believe that any 18 yr old is fit to look after a 14 yr old but if your eldest is used to having this much power, I would be a bit worried.

At 14 kids can legally babysit another younger child and at 12 can be left alone.

in England and Wales there is no legal limit for leaving a child alone or for babysitting.
The law has a sentence which says something about suitable age depending on child

I am amazed at the number of people who think this us unreasonable.

This is normal for many people. Honestly he is 18!!

My concern is not the animals, or the sibling, it would be him having an exam on Friday and Monday, and being there to suppor tif it went badly, but that can also be by phone. I would not plan to be away during exam time.

But on a practical level you do know that 18 year olds can be nannies and babysit and TAs in school etc? that they are adults and considered to be able to function in the world?

The only issue to me is if the boys were likely to fall out and cause problems between them, or if I was worried about a party.

@SantaBarbaraMonica because he has an A level exam that day?!

I'm all for 18 yesr old being responsible but ditching them when they have A elcels and leaving them responsible for a sibling on the day of their own A level exam isn't something I'd do.

Given dog sitter appearance and neighbours, I think it is OK.

I left my sons at a similar age. It was absolutely fine. There were no pets in the picture. I left a fridge full of easy to prepare food. They had my number and a responsible adult local contact. The only thing was that there were some daily jobs that I didn't think to mention like bringing in the post and milk , and taking out the rubbish, which I thought were so obvious that of course they would do them. But they had never been responsible for them before and it didn't occur to them. So I would recommend leaving a list of daily stuff to be done so that the house runs properly, then go and enjoy your break.

Seems OK to me if your children are OK with it. I would probably have wanted to do one night away to test the waters first of all. The 18 year old is an adult and if the 14 year old is sensible they shouldn't really need much "looking after" so seems like a fair enough plan. I am pretty sure I visited my sibling at University on my own when they were 18 and I was 14 and stayed with them for 3 nights, we both survived.

I'd leave them. When me and my brother were 13 and 15 we were left over the weekend and the ceiling fell in! No mobiles then, we phoned my grandma, but she lived an hour away! Didn't kill us just ruined my brother's room. I'd left home, got my own flat and worked full time by the age of 17, and I don't think kids nowadays are any less safe than we were. In fact they're probably more savvy as they can Google stuff.

i left mine in January for 3 nights while I went to Europe. They are 13.15.17 & 19 ( just ) They were fine. We were also dog sitting & they took care of themselves & the dog. ( owners were totally happy with this ) Everyone was fine & happy with the arrangement. No dramas & we all enjoyed the break. My eldest is waiting to join the fire brigade so if he can be trusted to fight fires & save lives he should be okay to manage for a weekend with out us. I had MIL & best friend on standby for emergencies. The only thing that went wrong was my elderly Dad fell as I was boarding the plane so my eldest went round & sorted him out.

Why not? What’s so wrong with family members occasionally being asked to step up?

Expectations on kids in some families are shockingly low.

This all sounds perfectly reasonable to me - they have support nearby and should be quite capable at 14 and 18 to stay home alone . At 14 kids can legally babysit another younger child and at 12 can be left alone. I left my 14 year old daughter and 16 year old son with two dogs , 10 chickens and 3 horses to look after whilst we went away for a week - my friend checked in on them and they knew what to do in an emergency- kids are far too mollycoddled now in my opinion .

I’d say do it you know your children like you say oldest is 18 and if your 14 year old is self sufficient I dnt see a problem. My 14 year old is more self sufficient that my 16 yr old 🤣. It’s not like you can’t speak to them and if you have a network around you then there should be no problems

We left ours for 4 nights at this age. I did have a moment of ‘what were we thinking’ as we left for the airport but they were fine. We have good neighbours and grandparents were on hand.

I commute weekly, so my DDs (18 and 14) are home alone a fair bit. 23 year old DS is also with them, but not especially domestic. It works fine, other than mess and having to referee arguments at the weekend where petty grievances have built up during the week. It can be stressful, but I don't worry about their safety.

Only you know. Have you left them alone overnight before? You're technically leaving your 14 year old with an adult. But it sounds like your 14 year old is more mature.

Similarly "we're off tomorrow" posts etc - I don't think even gcse exams have started... so many posts saying "we did it" or "well do it in the summer". Well it's different to the day of an A level exam!

I did a lot of looking after myself (neglect) and I can't imagine not having one of us there for exams.

We've changed plans for next Easter so one of ours can be home to revise before exams as being away would make them anxious /conflicted and unable to revise.

I've just read your previous post- aim so sorry 😔.

I said earlier too kids would survive fine if OP had to go on a business trip etc I'm sure but to go on a jolly when they have an A level exam isn't something I'd do.

Yup!

All this "I did it" "my kids are respinsible" etc posts seem to miss that and that's what I think would be important in supporting my child when they have A levels.not leaving them responsible for a 14 year old/pets etc when they have an A level exam! I'd want to be around even if it's just to exchange grunts and wohs them luck.

The actual exam is on the same day? Then I change my answer.

My Mum (single parent) died from cancer when I was 17 and I spent the last 2 months of her life caring for her, bathing her, feeding us all.
When she died my brother and I (he was 14) were home alone for 3 weeks waiting a placement. We survived. Not thrived but we coped. And we were burgled.

You know your kids the best. I’m sure your kids with be fine. So will the dogs. Maybe leave them take away money for Saturday night as a treat. And out of office Vet telephone number.

This is absolutely fine! If your 18 year old is willing and trustworthy on this then I'd go ahead.

Fine to leave them but not with the responsibility of the dogs!

I'm so pleased you asked this question. I don't know how to vote but I too have an 18 & 14 y.o. and we have only done one overnight away so far. Kind of want to take advantage before DD goes to Uni as then would be back to leaving a then-15 DS which wouldn't be right. But we can't decide how long is acceptable to leave them together,so an watching this thread with interest. Just the one cat though. ..!

We are off for a long weekend tomorrow. 16 year old staying home, only second time he has been left over night and last time was barely 18 hours.

almost 15 year old is not happy to have been shipped out to her cousins and really wanted to stay home. I do this when DS turns 17 later this year and DD will be 15.5 that I will leave them both.

Cat sitting comes as a bonus!