Do career women get more kudos than part-timers/sahms?

FYI @Villagegirl6 is all over threads this morning with goady, misogynistic posts so best to ignore until MN delete the posts and ban the (boring AF) user.

I work full time (not a ‘career’, but a decently paid good job at least for the area) and I don’t get kudos from most women. Mainly sympathy and asked if I miss DD 🙄

They wouldn’t! I don’t think we’re making the same point.

probably get stick for this but looking after your children is a duty and a privilege. Whether you work or not you still have to keep your house and look after your children. I have 2 under 3 and I am dreading going back to work, working with young children is HARD. Staying at home is, I’m sorry but it’s not hard, I mean it’s not easy but life’s not easy for anyone. Everyone is cooking and cleaning and looking after their children, I don’t think we should be praised for choosing to have children and looking after them that’s the basic requirements of being human. Working while having children is very difficult, my mental health was horrendous when working with one young child and I’m about to go back to work with a toddler and a baby at home. It’s a hell of a lot harder than staying at home in my opinion. I certainly don’t look for praise for being at home with my kids, but for being a hard working mum both at home and at work, that is commendable. Not everyone has the privilege to stay at home.

@Queenconsult

“Same applies to all menial jobs”.

Do you understand how unpleasant you are?
I had hoped that we’d all learned during the past few years just how crucial “menial” workers are to society, they are what keeps it running.
Your attitude is shameful.

@Tittyfilarious81 that's great, I'm so glad to hear that. So many women get shafted. We see those posts day in and day out on here.

If you think ambitious women are cherished and praised you’re living in a very different world to me.

@jeaux90 I do understand what you are getting at and being a sahm does have its risks but for me personally should I ever need to go back to work I'd be able to.

@Tittyfilarious81 I'm glad you've been sensible, got married with full access to money.

The question is do you have a career/job you could return to if you ended up divorced with half a house?

Half a house is pointless if you can't pay for the mortgage, bills etc.

I see it on here all the time. Women absolutely fcked despite being cautious they put their own income and pension contributions on hold for years and then have to take low paid jobs to survive after sudden splits/divorce.

This. Same here.

I work from home 3-4 days per week and travel 1-2. But they're not the same days and so people see me around the playground etc regularly and likely have no idea how hard I work around that!

Oh. Pmsl. Just saw Op vanished after demanding people show where she said career women and it was pointed out it's her actual thread title!

That's funny.

Ime mothers get told we're wrong no matter what we do.
Career woman - neglecting your kids, why have kids for someone else to raise them.
PT gets sneering about leaving the work to the full timers and complaints about part timers not doing a full day, er, for part time wages!
Sahm you're a leech. You're not a feminist, not a good example for your children

It's just part of the general attitude in society that a woman's place is in the wrong.
And what fucks me off the list is how many women actively participate in this shit!

Yes you’re married - that’s the difference as this person was unmarried and that’s the point I was making. She doesn’t have access to the pension, savings we’re in her partners name, and the house the only thing that is in joint names but she has no idea what equity there is available. I think many women in this group are under the wrong impression that marriage offers no protection and it’s ‘just a piece of paper’. Fair enough if they work, earn similar money, have a house in joint names. But every day I see posts on here from women who are unmarried and have zero protection.

Has @Mcemmabell really absconded from the thread, after asking people to point out where she said ‘career women’….?

An unproductive, unnecessary question to ask in the first place, prompting some really nasty, competitive responses from people who are probably quite insecure.

My takeaway is that if you've been sounding off from your high horse on a Mumsnet thread for most of a Tuesday afternoon, you're probably not doing a very good job at work or at home so you'd get no kudos from me either way.

@Zanatdy

I shall put your mind at rest then as I'm one of of those sahm commenting

Married
Pension contributions paid
Full Access to all money
All savings in joint names
House joint names

I do agree with you though that if you are a sahm it's important to have these things in place .

Being a SAHM, working part time, having a career - none is really any more valuable than another on a practical level. And of course all value different things, have different talents, different priorities.

IMO women with these kinds of ‘high flying’ careers get kudos for it because:

a) people are often still surprised to see them in those kinds of roles at all, so that they’ve achieved it is notable

b) it is pretty impressive really to build and maintain a career at that level, while also running a home and a family

The domestic stuff and family care / management doesn’t go away because you’re at work. You have to do that too.

I have no idea how single parents with full
time jobs cope tbh.

Exactly and I really hope all those SAHM’s who have commented here are married or they too may find themselves in that boat. Exactly why I have always worked and can never be left in that position as life can change very quickly in a heartbeat and as women we need to protect ourselves.

People get kudos for their careers - and there are plenty with careers who are part time.

People who don't have careers don't cause they don't have a career.

The same differential applies for those who have jobs rather than careers.

@Queenconsult, have you always been such an arrant snob, or has life made you thus?

It's easier if you're not a woman, no one judges a man for going back to work when their child is days old, for not going part time, or gives 2 shits if they made sports day or the school play!

I have a full time job and I'm a lone parent. I don't care about the Kudos I care about my financial independence.

And judging by the thread I've just read where the poor woman just got shafted by her partner after 20 years of bringing up their kids and being left with nothing but half a house (no pension, not married, no means of employment) we should all take note.

Kudos has got nothing to do with it.
Self preservation and financial independence however should be a priority.

"AllProperTeaIsTheft · Today 16:09

It's because in my experience and most of my friends, it's harder to work full time with kids than be a sahm .

In my experience it's also harder to work full time without kids than be a SAHM."

That's not my experience at all. Depends on the age of the kids but I've done FT work with and without kids, and SAHP to twins up till the age of 4. In my experience the hardest BY FAR is being a SAHM to twins babies or toddlers.

Going back to work when they started reception was so much easier.

It's because in my experience and most of my friends, it's harder to work full time with kids than be a sahm .

In my experience it's also harder to work full time without kids than be a SAHM.