His holiday

Some of these post are bloody ridiculous.

Of course he can go on holiday if he wants.

If you tried to stop me that would be a big red flag.

You should protect your deposit.

As long as you're not carrying him financially, what's the problem.

It's been 8 months. He's boyfriend territory.

He's certainly not in a situation where you have any right to dictate what he does.

Youre not being selfish, but you are being absolutely fucking bat shit nuts

This. With a million fucking bells on.

Let him go to American with his freind. Let him stay there! You keep a tight hold of your £75k. Please, please think long and hard before you move in with this guy!!! Take your time!Just stay as is for the time being. Better still,shop around some more! This one comes waving ‘red flags ‘already!

Moving in together is fine. A joint bank account for the purposes of joint bills only is fine. A shared savings account is not.

Sounds like he wants the benefits of cohabitation while continuing to live as a single man.

You have £75k and he has nothing. No wonder he wants to have a joint account. You’d have to be crazy to do that.

The so-called big sports game will cost a lot more than £3k to go to. If you thought Wimbledon tennis or Chelsea FC men's football tickets were expensive, they cost a lot less than US sporting events.

Him going on holiday is not any problem at all to me - as long as he can afford. But keep your finances separate

There is a thread on here literally now about an OP whose sister has been left penniless by their super trustworthy amazing husband - give it a read

Why does he have no savings OP? Has he been renting and struggled to save? Thats an understandable reason for not having huge savings but you would still expect him to have some. Or is he bad with money?

You have known him for a very short period of time and although I bought together with my DH quickly, we were on an equal level financially. Make sure you protect your £75k!

together 8 months). no time at all. Literally not enough time!

We have decided to move in together after we've been together a year and the goal is to next year buy a house.
this is ok if neither of you have children

I have 75k for a deposit which will help us secure a place.
does he have £75k for a deposit too? How will you ensure that money is protected from him? Does be have money for solicitors? Stamp duty? All money you dont get back when you sell. What is his contribution?

We had a plan to greet a shared bank account, save and basically start to share finances.
are you fucking nuts?! You've known him 8 months! Edited

☝️☝️This.. please be smart, please think about yourself in this what would happen to you if say in another years time things fell apart, it may not be him you might decide it’s not right.
But knowing what I know now financial independence is just the top priority honestly

And again with knobs on

Maybe he thinks one last big holiday before he commits

Moving in together after a year is fine. Buying a place together is bonkers, especially when he has no savings of his own. Why does he have no savings?

If I had only known my partner for 8 months and we had plans to buy a house but only with my money because he had no savings to contribute then the house would be getting bought in my name only. Is this what your plan is OP? Theres no way id be letting someone put their name to a house they didnt financially contribute too after such a little amount of time. Moving in together after a year can be pretty standard but buying a house is a huge deal!

You are being extremely gullible, or just plain deluded.
You have 75k to put down, he has nothing.
Do not share finances with this man after only 8 months!!

Think TwylaSands is spot on here. You need to ensure the safety of your money!!
Re the holiday - is it a once in a lifetime opportunity? I’d probably not be that bothered if it was a fantastic opportunity but it sort of shows you where he puts the value of you buying B.V. a house together in his list of priorities! Share finances after 8 months when one of you has a lot & the other nothing is complete MADNESS though!!

OP, I just wanted to say, when I met my husband he had a dead end job, was struggling to pay rent on his own place, drowning in debt and things were pretty miserable for him financially.

I had already bought my own home (mortgaged) and owned my car etc outright. Financially we were worlds apart.

We moved in together (as he was struggling to make the rent each month) within 3 months. He never contributed to the mortgage or bills, and still doesn’t, however, all ‘serious grown up’ spending goes out of my account. Leaving his account free for all the fun stuff.

We were married within 11 months of meeting. Insane, I know.

My husband went on to set up his own business and because quite successful. He works bloody hard and even though I still pay all the bills from my account all of our money is ours. I help myself to his bank when I want to treat myself to something nice, or I want to take our little girl out somwhere nice, or if either of us book a holiday etc.

We’ve been married 10 years now, with a 5 year old, joint mortgage and I’m happy. I think he is too.

I just wanted to get across that a poor match financially and moving quickly isn’t always bad. It was a risk I suppose, but he’s a good man who had just lost his was a little and needed to find his drive again. I’d like to think we both got our happy ending :)

Have you lost your mind? Why, oh WHY would you share finances with a man when he has the sum total of fuck all, and you have £75k?!!

Do not do this. Unless you want to lose everything.

If you click on the link its still there - its at 40 pages now so cant comment on it

This.

If you want to be one of the people posting on here about how you've got kids, your partner never helps out, is always gaming or with his mates and doesn't earn well either - go ahead.

But honestly, get some self-respect. you can do better.

Wow he saw you coming with your £75 K
He's showing you who he is financially and otherwise
This is how it will be in the future

You nailed it

Your priorities are too different for a long term future. You're an adult he's a man child. Don't buy with him.

OP the post asking if you’re batshit nuts isn’t (necessarily) about him being untrustworthy, it’s about the fact he CLEARLY has different priorities to you. If he didn’t he would have some savings (or he wouldn’t be in a position to suggest buying or going to America).

If you like him move in for a while, but rent. Have a shared account and see if he is capable of managing his money without freeloading off you. But really, the signs are that the two of you are at very different stages in your life.