His holiday

Buying a house together after 12 months without living together for a while first is a recipe for disaster. Especially where one part of the couple has considerable more savings than the other. Trust me, I know, and it did end badly. Even if he saves all the salary, he’s not going to have anywhere near the amount you do, and he clearly wants to enjoy his life still. Revisit it in 12 months. People on here speak from experience, not just some book of mumsnet rules.

Don't put your 75k in a joint account ever as the temptation will be too great for him. If you move in you send deposit direct to solicitor and have a declaration of trust and a deed (can't remember the name) but if you split you get back everything you put in. Good luck OP hope it works out for you :)

Sorry 8 month typo lol

Me and my now hubby of 23 years bought our first house together after been together 9 months. (We did know each other from school and were school sweethearts) broke up at 16 and dated from age 21 till present. Good luck 😉

“You have 75 k “ but you won’t have a bean
if you end up tied to someone who isn’t putting your joint plans first
but he doesn’t need to does he because you have the cash ..

please wake up
sorry op
but been there and it’s not pretty

My first thought is no to any joint bank accounts and not a chance I’d be buying anything with anyone tbh
unless it was completely equal
keep yourself financially safe and separate

Op, I know this wasn’t the ‘perspective’ you were hoping to get… but I’d take on board what everyone here is saying.

hes not hiding it from you but he’s not stepping up to your plans either.

Spot on!

Moving in after a year is fine, assuming you're not involving a child? I mean, it would be one thing for you to decide to live with someone you've known such a short time but another to force it on a child.
So assuming it's just you, why wouldn't you just buy a house yourself if you are the one with the deposit? You don't NEED a guy you know?

Exactly what I thought. Desperation.

Please do not rush into buying a house with this man. If you were both childless (others have mentioned you have a child). I would possibly consider renting for a year see how you get on.
With a child your main priority must be your child & your own financial security. You have 75k (amazing by the way) buy a house for you & DC and if he still sticks around he can live there paying rent & bills with a legal document to say if relationship does not work out he moves out with 0 claim to the house.
My mother is 80 was with my Dad for 20 years he was the worst husband ever left my mum bankrupt and homeless. She rented for 12 years met someone else who she lived with for also 20 years unmarried. He died leaving no will & 4 horrible kids who wanted to throw my mum out the house. It was an absolutely horrendous time.
Bottom line as a woman look after yourself and your children a man can fit in around you. No savings is a big red flag for me how has he got no savings & want to jointly buy a property? Protect yourself and your child OP.

The child was from her previous abusive relationship.

I know math isn't my strongest suit but they have a child together and she has only known him for 8 months? What am I missing?

This. All. Of. This. OP please take a step back. Too much too soon. Waaaaayyyyyyy too soon

Agree with PPs about being bat shit nuts..

When you are wealthy ( you are)
You are going to be a MAGNET.
Just about anyone will want to hook up with you, marry you, or be your financial partner. Wake Up!!!!!!!
Put that money somewhere safe ( not shared)
Esp NOT in a current account where it could be accidentally utilised , by accident.
Put your long term plans on hold if hes going to start galivanting abroad with his single friends.Theres a lot of nasty viruses abroad.....
I hope hes not going for a stopover to vegas and blow all your savings..........

I got pregnant by someone who I’d been with for 1 year. On purpose. shrug shoulders emoji
(3 years on it’s working out so far)

Op. Don’t worry about the 8 month moving in thing. Just fucking PROTECT YOUR MONEY. 75k is an amount only someone like me could dream of

Bat shit nuts.
This made me laugh so much it should be a classic mn saying.
Fantastic.
But yes OP you definitely are bat shit nuts.
Nuff said.

How old are you OP and him? Just think that will help work this one out.

This makes me want to cry. My (rented!) two bedroom terrace house in a very run of the mill town would cost just under that to buy. Hence why I'm still renting...

This story ends with no house and no £75k for you

He should go on the holiday - 8 months is nothing, I'd be annoyed to be told I can't after so little time.

You should buy a house by yourself. If you want to live with him, he can pay you rent. Do not get married.

If you have a child you should under no circumstances move it after 1 year.

👆🏻 this, with bells on!

You’re not thinking straight. 8 months and talking like you’re married. Don’t be combining finances and taking on someone with no savings. He’ll be utterly reliant on you for his shelter and all the other things he can’t afford himself. He’s a child basically. You have a plan, you have saved money. He’s going on about holidays which he probably can’t fund with a mate to watch a sports game. He has a lot of growing up to do by the sounds of it and he’s definitely not ready for this level of commitment and you shouldn’t be wanting to prop him up either. He won’t change any time soon and will be a monetary and emotional drain. By all means, you get a house in your name and live apart. See if he can be self sufficient.