To say that the next generation is primarily screwed in terms of resilience

I do think there’s always a tendency for older people to decry the lack of resilience of the young. See for example the treatment of brainwashed young men who had been POws in the Korean War- there was a huge outcry in the US about the “lack of moral fibre” that had led them not to withstand psychological torture. Mind-boggling really.

Old people (like me) have always criticised the young for lack of resilience etc. I suspect that a large part of it is simply our failure to remember accurately what we were like when young, and the fact that the ways in which some young people
struggle vary between generations.

That’s not to say that young people now don’t face a particular set of challenges- they do. But anecdotal stuff isn’t really a good guide. I also think some things ascribed to a lack of toughness are actually just a different sort of toughness- eg my mum is convinced young women are less tough than she was because they report sexual harassment rather than laughing it off, whereas to me reporting is the more resilient and responsible reaction.

@Rollinroller I grew up in a very deprived and rough area in the seventies and early eighties. I am always surprised by those who say they got flashed lots by men. But then in my area anyone who did this to children would have been attacked by the adults. I always felt safe playing out as a child.

Nobody is saying people in the past had no issues. And even forty years ago slapping your child was heavily frowned upon.

Or maybe all the previous generation's just ignored all the children who actually had issues! I always find it funny hearing we never had this nonsense or you just got on with it or you'd get a slap, yeah because you was actually autistic but got slapped enough to grow up and be a giant people pleaser and have no common ground on saying no to people based on thinking they would be punished, to say you work in the behavioral sector and your saying this is actually worrying, the fact you thought 10 children was a normal amount is crazy also, there has always been a higher number but I don't think you realise behind closed doors the amount of parents fighting with the system for help! So much more behind children with issues not just a new thing at all.

I assure you @Rollinroller that adult men have been waving their penises at young girls since Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden, even in the 1960s (when it happened to me) and the 1940s (so my mum tells me).

Exactly the same for me. Many problems.

I don’t think a lot of people here remember what it was actually like being a kid in the 70s / 80s and being out “til the streetlights come on” do you know how many adult men’s penises I saw before the age of 12?! My mum has no clue. Probably likes all those shitty Boomer themed posts about the good old days.

I went to university over 20 years ago. There were plenty of people struggling with their mental health. Two of them took their own lives, many left and went home. As someone who has been praised all their lives for being very resilient, very adult and capable at a young age I can tell you very unequivocally that it was the result of that no-nonsense get on with it parenting that everyone here seems to think is so great, and that it has caused me significant harm throughout my adult life.

I was telling my partner that social media has corrupted our young people. My children watch it and now I monitor its usage. It was never this hard growing up.

And if you listen to young people about what the workplace is like they will say its tough. In most places it is easier than it used to be in minimum wage jobs. A friend works in a call centre and she says it used to be far harsher.

They'll stay dependent on their families forever until they die then they'll use the taxpayer.
It's no individuals fault though, society insists on infantilising them . They can't can't work, can't play out, can't go to dentist alone, can't leave school, if you dare send them to walk to primaryschool alone you'll be reported....

We are late fifties as a couple and both on or near minimum wage. Not everyone is in high flying jobs. The bad employers have got worse as they can monitor everything. But many minimum wage employment is easier than we were young. My DP has an easy job where there is loads of support as they are desperate to keep staff. There are people he works with who would have been quickly fired years ago, but they can't recruit the staff because the pay is so low.

I think partly is because teens are not trusted and are constantly controlled . So they leave to Uni or work without having to make any decisions . Honestly the way teens are treated in secondary schools is vile , uniforms , getting detentions for silly things , not even allowed to color their hair or have a different haircut , everything is dictated to them . It wasn’t like this when I grew up . Therefore when we messed up we knew we would need to sort things ourselves.
By trying to control them to much , we created a dependency and that means less capacity on the real world

The generational blame game is very, very harsh. Especially when blaming them for climate change. It is now cheaper to replace many things then repair them. Do you honestly think that is the fault of a retired teacher, nurse or former factory worker. We are still making bad decisions regarding the environment and climate change and we should know better.

Most older people just went to work and maybe raised a family.

@taxguru your son's experience is exactly what my DD17 is now finding at her 6th Form college.

When she started last September she had a nice group of friends there on a WhatsApp group, but this soon swelled to about 40 people and every meet up is now apparently like a drunk, screeching party and she doesn't enjoy it.

She said she longs to just sit in a pub and have a nice conversation with smaller group of friends.

Sorry OP if this was a bit off-topic!

Oh I see. I think I must have misconstrued you meaning sorry

To add my tuppence worth.

In my mid-50s now, I've battled mental health issues since I was 12, including depression and social anxiety.

Good points about my era: Childhood was for the most part good. Lots of freedom, no social media, and no gadgets so had to entertain self. This involved spending lots of time outdoors interacting with peers, using old-fashioned devices like bikes, roller skates, legs, and imagination. This, I believe, helped build up resilience to manage my issues later in life.

Bad things: Very little awareness of these issues. and not much help or support, so suffered in silence and just got on with it. I believe I lost 2 jobs due to my social anxiety, which hindered my career and affected my already low self-esteem and mental health. This may not have happened if there had been more protection in the workplace.

Good and bad combined: Financial constraints imposed responsibility, eliminated the option to opt out of society, and instilled a sense of accountability, rather than expecting others to solve your problems. But not everyone has the capacity or social support to manage it by themselves.

No internet until I was in my mid-20s. The internet was good in some ways, as it enabled me to understand what was happening to me and explore ways to self-manage. However, it's now saturated with self-diagnosis tools and dependency expectations.

I overcame my anxiety because I had no choice but to work and carry on. Hiding away, and avoiding things will not help you move forward. You will simply be stuck where you are, unable to reach your full potential or follow your dreams. While financial aid like PIP has its merits, it can also enable avoidance rather than empowerment.

It seems like the newer generations have rejected many of the values held dear by Baby Boomers and Gen X. This could be due to the unstable world they live in created by the above groups.

Additionally, these generations are more likely to experience divorce, leading to fewer long-term relationships and more casual ones or opting out altogether. Hard work no longer guarantees success. There is an empirical observation that the idea of an employee assimilating into a corporate identity is rejected. Work-life balance is now paramount.

The COVID-19 pandemic has had a significant impact on young people. They were out of school, and education lost some of its value as a result.
Education, particularly at school, needs to change and modernize. I feel that sociological economics, business studies, and behaviour would be more interesting than the endless saturation of STEM. I also think the world university has its place, but more investment from employees is a better avenue. However, the technical trades need to be upgraded to a minimum diploma level with a business management module.
Another thought is that mental health awareness is now front and centre, and advocacy is being exploited, particularly in the workplace.

We are animals and we haven’t had the chance to evolve to keep up with our environments and societal changes.

The pace of change is off the charts compared to the past. Since the Industrial Revolution this has accelerated. However, for huge parts of human history the way people lived didn’t alter all that much over a period of 100’s of years. Most of human history we were rural not urban. That itself is a huge change.

Our economic system is unsustainable. Both from POV of the planet. But also western economies are a pyramid scheme. We think things like large scale immigration will fix our pension issues …..but who pays their pensions? (Yes a certain level of immigration is a positive). The rich are accumulating more and more wealth at the expense of everyone else.

Many people are getting disillusioned with trying to raise a family, while commuting to work full time, run a household plus any other responsibilities they have. Kids will naturally pick up the stressed out vibes their parents give off.

I think if increases in MH issues as the canary in the coal mine. Many parents have MH issues and that absolutely does impact their children.

Which facts are you referring to here?
It may be possible for a society as a whole to be more resilient even if some individuals suffer more as a consequence.
It may even be necessary for some individuals to suffer more in order for society as a whole to be more resilient.

Absolutely true, there is lots of provision in primary care, however many people decline it or reject it as they feel they need more.

Specialist services have really been cut and need resources and transformation but they are also being overwhelmed with referrals for common mental health problems. So struggle to keep up with demand.

I can absolutely guarantee that GPs and many other professionals refer lots of common mental health issues including a 'bit of anxiety' to specialist services every single day. Once referred the specialist services have to do something with it even if that means contacting the individual and signposting to alternative support. This takes up a huge amount of resource which would be better used elsewhere supporting those that need specialist intervention rather than signposting and education.

It's a little bit like referring to a brain surgeon the first time someone presents at the GP with a headache.

I think that life is hard and has always been hard, in different ways. The increased social isolation and job precariousness of course will take its toll on a person. I think the main difference between now and the past is young people have a voice that gets heard and amplified. In the past there was just no way for you to know how the average 21 year old woman or man felt about their situation. Now you know, because we've normalised expressing ones own dissatisfaction (a good thing) and because there are more means of hearing about it through twitter etc.

I'm sure people have always complained about their lives and criticised the systems that governed them. In fact, we know that they did, because literature represents one of the only forms of record we have and is full of dissatisfaction.

Thank you. That's my take exactly.

Oversharers gonna overshare but I'd prefer openness to never discussing these things.