To say that the next generation is primarily screwed in terms of resilience

I also think that we have promoted weakness to such an extent that it has become "normal" to be helpless, and anyone who doesn't support such thinking is branded as aggressive or offensive.

But most of this nonsense is down to affluence, kids have the luxury of being able to wallow in their own weakness because they don't actually have to fight for anything.

Comfort is a bigger barrier to progress than hardship.

We allow people to remain weak, we support them to remain afraid, we let them live as helpless people.

I can't speak for them all but anecdotally schools seem like very stressful places compared to when I went (90s).

The more "outgoing" kids seem to be able to get away with anything - there's lots of bullying as well as a lot of low level mischief. Shouting and fights. Lessons get abandoned to deal with behaviour. Autistic kids who years ago would have been in a special school are getting severely overwhelmed with the mainstream environment and having huge meltdowns - chair throwing etc. My child's school area has to be evacuated for this on multiple occasions.
Teachers are stressed to breaking point - this comes out as tears, snappiness and anger towards students. It sounds like absolute chaos.
Is it any wonder that kids are anxious about going to school?

Don’t people say things like this every generation? I’m in my 40s but so tired of the demonisation of the young. They’re a great generation and are working out that a generic academic life is not necessary, and their emotional literacy is probably better than any of us “mums”.
Each generation will have their advantages and disadvantages.

I'm sorry, you think we are in a period of easy living?

Previous generations didn't have any more grit and skills than todays youth, but they were more likely to accept dangerous working conditions, poor mental health and abusive schools.

If this was an easy life, houses could be bought easily on one income, bills could be paid with one income, holidays could be paid for and a car run whilst one parent stayed at home, like in ' harder ' times.

I think youngsters are dealing with so much more than previous generations- climate change, zero chance of ever home owning and the first generation to have grown up completely with smart phones.

I think smart phones and lack of safe guarding, less human contact, less mindfulness and more anxiety provoking online behaviour such as SM are hugely to blame.

Then there is the crisis that CAMHS and adult mental health services are in. There is no mental health support or treatment so what is little is left to grow big.

Finally there is an issue with 6 form colleges being shite at mental health support. They have loopholes they can use to offload to protect results and they do. My mentally ill daughter was forbidden from going in by her college even though services felt her safe and wanted her to attend as did she. They finally offloaded her due to “ safeguarding”. She’s very bright and only has GCSE’s she never sat due to Covid. That makes life feel even more hopeless. The Alevel situation is shit if you’ve had 3 years of funding you are effectively shut out.🙄

These are all issues the government could have helped with and continuously refuse to. It’s appalling.

But hey let’s keep blaming useless youngsters. 🙄

What's that phrase about an easy life making people soft and and hard life toughening them up?

I think people adapt to their environment and I can't imagine all of the grit and skills shown by the many generations that preceded us could be lost for good in a few decades of easy living.

I'm an academic and that is not what I am seeing at university. The number of students suffering anxiety has gone through the roof. Even those who attend class etc seem to expect everything to be done for them and to be spoon fed regarding what is required of them has increased significantly.

Sure, there are plenty of students who are self-sufficient and resilient but the number who aren't is increasing year on year.

I absolutely gree with you OP. Lots of good points made about lack of physical freedoms, the pathologisation of normal emotions, the influence of the Internet and helicopter parenting - and so many excuses made for kids not to cope, by parents, school, society. Also, the difficulty is getting paid Saturday jobs from a young age ('insurance') - so important in building self-esteem, character and independence.

We are so frightened for our children when really, life is so extremely, painfully safe. My DD, 20, at uni, is so dismissive of her generation; on the other hand she says it makes those that are copers, like her, look good, so it's not all bad... but it is terrible for society and the truly major challenges we face.

My 2ds's are a bit older, uni and GCSE's, but both are confident and resilient, can easily do all the things listed without batting an eyelid. When I heard ds1 being interviewed for his apprenticeship (one of those that you go to uni, but alongside do a 3mth paid placement with the firm in London, every year) I was seriously impressed.

Its interesting you say that, as when pupils face anxiety about attending school the system isnt to remove school actually, although that can be what happens in the end out of desperation. The response is quite punatative, with threats of fines to parents. Its also very rare that a pupil is allowed to reintergrate voluntarily, gradually and at a pace they control. Its very often a timetable with targets that as soon as a pupil makes progress, they are expected to double the lenghth of time or based on what the school can support staffing wise or fear of parents being sanctioned and school recommending english is important. Its quite different than how aversion therapy runs. I remember thinking at the time that this doesnt feel like the basic way psychology would deal with this.

Absolutely this. We are being bombarded by information 24/7 when our brains were only meant to cope with picking some berries off a tree or hunting some food.

I've seen 'mental health' described as the 'bad back' of the 21st Century, so much is dumped under the mental health umbrella, no-one is ever simply pissed off, a bit fed up, a bit upset.

I don't know, what does the research say? What's the relationship between internal and external factors in determining a person's resilience? Also, how are we measuring resilience?

Anxiety seems to be on the increase generally, with 5% of the population diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder or in any given week 6 in every 100 people will be diagnosed. Something is going on and it can't just be one cause.

One report cites an explosion in cases since 2008 (coinciding with the financial crash). Trebling cases in young adults, affecting 30% of women and increasing across the board for those under 55. The data collection stopped in 2018 before covid so presumably it's worse now.

The numbers in our school and the surrounding school have shot up, too.

So many children with 'anxiety' and other mental health issues who are struggling to cope. I've never seen anything like it.

And yet children in war zones and much more deprived economic situations in other countries appear to just get on with it and fight to stay in schools, continue their educations, etc. We are doing something terribly wrong here.

I'm sorry, dont't have time to RTWT right now but I am very interested in this (very worrying) topic.

To simplify, my feeling is that the world as it is now has become way too complicated and overwhelming for most human brains. Let alone those prone to ill MH (and yes, neurodivergent).

So it used to be a minority who struggled when things were 'simpler'/more straightforward in the past, with fewer distractions, less exposure to an excess of 24hr information, when we were not all 'plugged into the Matrix' as it were. Now it's more and more people struggling.

As an example, take my friend's uncle, who suffered from ill mental health at a time when MH wasn't spoken about. He was unhappy and depressed, but he was the 'odd' relative who manage to just about survive and have a job by withdrawing from the world as much as possible. Now that withdrawal is almost impossible.

Then take his daughter (myfriend's elder cousin), who has inherited his sensitiviy and tendency to ill MH. She can barely hold it together, has been on long term sick leave several times, and has lost several jobs. I strongly suspect in the 60s, 70s and even 80s she'd have muddled through, like her father before her at her age.

Absolutely this.

Exactly. My son has recently started a job with one of the UK's largest insurance firms. They have a "safe space/quiet room" where employees are encouraged to "chill out" if they find their work getting too stressful and need a break. It's a rule that if you go in there, you aren't to be disturbed under any circumstances, no matter what your boss needs "right now" or any other workplace demand. The whole point of it is a sanctuary. You only go in if you need to chill out and literally no one can come and get you, there are no internal phones or PCs in the room, so you go in there to be undisturbed to collect yourself. Son says he's only been in once (in six months) after an irate/shouty phone call from a different department that was nothing to do with him and he just need to calm down because it really upset him, but he was out and back at his desk in 10 minutes!! They also have other "chill out" areas, but they're just for chatting/thinking and not intended as a "safe space".

My eldest was just old enough to walk home form after school club - it was light and less than 5 minuets to out house - wasn't wild about it TBH but with two younger kids it was easier and allowed and she walked with a mate.

I got this awful judgemental phone call from the school deputy head one day where was I didn't I know there had been attempted abductions in area how irresponsible a parent was I. I hadn't heard anything but turns out local police had put out something on Facebook to "be aware" - which I hadn't seen.

Anyway that put a stop to walking back - but I saw a story by local journalist who tracked it back - turns out a Dad in work van notice teenage daughter was late offered her a lift - it was reported as you can never be too careful - 30 miles away different LEA and police force meant I was facing extreme judgement for allowing my DC to walk home.

It is young adults who are most likely to have mental health problems

• that is a change as historically it was middle aged adults I think

• clearly part of the solution must be better availability of mental health resources for children and young adults

Paid for by raising more money via inheritance tax if I was asked

So true! I get amazed at the number of people who can't make a decision without asking thousands of strangers for their opinion.

I think it’s due to changes in parenting over the last couple of generations, and changes in lifestyles of many people. I think post war families have changed so much and consumer culture means people don’t have to wait for anything or work as hard to ‘have’. I think this has created a feeling of ‘entitlement’ for want of a better word - amongst almost everyone - and as a result people, and kids, are less prepared to tolerate situations they find difficult or aren’t keen on. I think just culturally there is less ‘grit’ in life now.

But you only see those 17yo who learn to drive. Which is a vastly lower proportion than 20 years go. My own DD, just 18, is one of <5% in her year who have learnt - it is not about cash, she is at a fee paying school. I wonder what the correlation between driving and general resilience is - I suspect from experience that it is high.

Or is 'anxiety' being used as an excuse? Lots of children don't like going to school but go anyway!

@MrsMurphyIWish Severe Anxiety is still a SEN. A lot of undiagnosed autism presents as anxiety. And no it's not just people who are a little bit worried.

This. We don’t need personal anecdote on this thread. There is quite extensive research charting changing patterns in mental health. It’s going down for both sexed and girls/ young women in particular.