To say that the next generation is primarily screwed in terms of resilience

I can't speak for them all but anecdotally schools seem like very stressful places compared to when I went (90s).

This as as well.

I went to a 90s school with silly strict uniform rules and had exam pressure.

My kids seem to have random rules which seem to apply to some kids more than others - it also poorer behaviour and noise big stressors to my DC - they also sit more GCSE with more exams while also missing teachers for long periods.

On top of that poor behavior seems to mean more and more restrictions. My youngest started to struggle - heavily restricted toilet access - noisy environment poor peer behavior and inexperienced teachers/many substitutes - uncomfortable environments and uniforms to hot/cold - she could just about cope with but when they suddenly brought in extra rules and restrictions round eating and drinking - making every lunchtime stressful and often meaning no food or drink all day - she stopped coping - luckily one of the few remaining experienced teachers stepped in for some kids and she back to mostly coping.

I agree but no mention of the parents role her in making sure their child/ren spend hours a week outside playing. Playing without structure, without adults and without equipment. How many parents can say their child has been out to play on their own in the last week. Or at least taken to a park and left to get on with it and by that i mean without mummy being within 50m. Very few.
Our children are smothered from birth. You read on here constantly of Mums that won't let family see a new baby for weeks or even let Dad near the baby. We even have a mum on hear now that is anxious about leaving her 18 year old baby boy alone because he can't make a sandwich. No wonder our young are scared of their own shadows.
Parents need to do their job, it is not only the Government and teachers that are supposed to raise our young.

I can see trouble brewing for the youngsters of today. Mental heath?? Get them off the phones and screens and games. Parents fault. Anything for a quiet life. The kids of today have no idea how to socialise, let's say, lift your eyes to who is talking to you and do abit better than mumble Fine, then eyes down again onto phone.

👏👏👏

Well, as a teacher I would like to be able to ask all pupils in my lessons questions and for them to have a go at answering.

I have many pupils who are exempt from answering questions. This then has a knock on effect as other pupils say “well X doesn’t have to answer, why should I?”.

(and by answering I mean they won’t even write answers on a whiteboard in a whole class discussion - I just want kids to have a go).

@Forhecksake the thing is school anxiety doesn’t always mean generalised anxiety.
Lots of teens function perfectly well in a workplace environment, but can’t cope at all with school specifically. It’s sad because whereas in times gone by children who couldn’t cope with school at 16 could find a job or a trade, they’re now forced into two more years of school type education.

There are so many things to consider here.

I think screens, social media and just society as a whole has ruined the younger generation. I’m 30, so didn’t grow up with it like people 10+ years younger than me.

COVID ruined the education for a lot of school/college/university students. A lot of workplaces are now either totally or mostly remote. So people aren’t having that personal contact and leaving the house as much. Therefore younger people have not had proper chance to experience working in different settings.

Political Correctness has gone mad. (And Id say I’m left wing. Past labour voter) but I think it’s just gone completely mad. I was asked to put my pronouns in my work email signature a few months ago. I refused.

Cost of living crisis, housing crisis, etc. Young people can’t afford to buy houses or even rent. Young people are comparing their situation to their parents/grandparents who could actually afford to buy a house.

TikTok/Instagram/Love Island/Influencers. Just give off unrealistic expectations on how people should look and act. So many young people particularly females are drastically changing their appearances, having surgery, Botox and fillers etc.

So many people are classed as “self diagnosed neurodivergent” and ADHD and ASD are now somehow glamorised and “trendy”.

There are massive mental health waiting lists so people with actual problems can’t get the help and support they need. The NHS is completely on its arse.

There’s multiple conflicts going on all over the world. Scaremongering from tabloids is constant.

I don't think we have a completely useless generation. We just have far more time to sit around and think than is helpful for anxious apes.

Time and time again on this thread, people have mentioned things like scours and guides as helping promote resilience. Which it really does, but places are limited, so if people on this thread really want to help young people, rather than just have a moan, please go an volunteer.

And I'm sure I will get excuses
'I have young children so I cant' (my 3 aged 4-9)come with me to the sessions and my oldest is now a young leader)
'I have to work' (I work full time )
'I'm not able (I have a disability)

Just expecting 'the government' to sort this out is part of the problem - people expect things done for them, rather than taking responsibility and investing in their local commuinity :-)

I agree @Bringtheweatherwithyou It is not just one factor but a multitude of things that have been going on for a while and lockdown just accelerated/exacerbated the issues.

What can adults do to help build resilience.
Try to plug the gaps that have developed in education. Encourage your child to play a team sport, learn an instrument or take part in a drama club and join a social group e.g. Scouts, Cadets.

As they hit sixth form let them get a part time job and let them deal with the issues that arise themselves. Far too many helicopter parents at this age and then they are surprised when they go to uni and fall apart.

Allow your child to find their strengths and weaknesses. Let them fail sometimes and teach them how to help themselves but importantly also how to ask for help if needed.

Limit social media and have honest open conversations from a young age about the perils of the internet/reality of being an adult in the UK including careers and what is needed/effort required to get into their chosen industry.

This

Yeah, I do. As a society, we have an abundance of food in the shops, we can eat out of season, we have heaps of sitting down time, we (mostly) don't have to chop wood to survive winter, we consume more calories than we need, we have a society in which most people have an education until adulthood. When would you rather live?

Gosh there is such a load of ignorance on this thread.

So oh wise pontificators what do you think should be done about this completely useless generation then?

If non attendance is construed as anxiety then the response is often modified timetable, withdrawal from some lessons in school, then part time timetable, with often a quick escalation to full non attendance.

Often the child then retreats to their room and stops going out altogether.

In these cases it's because the attempted 'supports' were not addressing the anxiety they were just removing the trigger, but the child learns 'I can't cope with any difficulty' so every challenge becomes unbearable.

It's not the kids fault. It's just human psychology. And there are many reasons in the modern world to be anxious. It's just this approach will not work.

I agree reintegration is usually done is a totally non psychological way and often fails, further leading the child to conclude 'I can't cope. school is not for me' and withdrawing again.

Maybe young people would be managing better if those who were supposed to help them were doing their jobs, instead of making shitty comments about them on the internet on a Monday afternoon?

I have certainly noticed over the last several years a certain increased level of what I can only call 'flakiness' amongst our recent grads. These people are academically very strong and came through a fairly rigorous selection process but seem to lack what my Irish father would call 'cop on'. Way more work absences often with crap accompanying excuses and they require way more supervision compared to a decade earlier.

I’m afraid that the “demand for safe and inclusive workplaces” has become part of the problem. Employers should employ working practices that comply with Employment Law, but some employees believe that their employer should bend over backwards at every unreasonable demand instead of just accepting that some things are outside of their control and thats the way employment works. What precisely do you mean by ‘inclusive’? Not everyone is able to do every job, and a job description is not, by its very nature, inclusive. neither is holding interviews or requiring specific qualifications for some jobs. Life itself isnt inclusive. The word is overused and exploited. *

This is so so true 🙌🏼🙌🏼

That's great- I think public transport resilience is really important. And you are absolutely right to point out that driving is not essential everywhere. However, where I live, public transport is very poor and not driving essentially means not going anywhere. So the paucity of drivers at DD's school is surprising, and alarming.

An antiquated educational system doesn't help. It doesn't teach basic life skills.

I think the growth if the dependency and 'entitled to' culture has a part to play also.
People are told 'you are entitled to a nice house' 'you are entitled to be treated just how you want' 'you are entitled to respect, you don't have to earn it'. The sports days where no winners are allowed, not allowing red pen when marking schoolwork etc. And then when they don't get these there is a victim mentality, and if people are told they are a victim they start believing it.
Resilience comes from trying,failing, trying harder and learning how to succeed. From being scared but doing something anyway, and the huge self pride that develops from this.
Children need to know that we aren't all the same, we won't all acheive the same or get the same reward, but to have pride in their effort. My Dad was kicked out of home at 14 by an abusive alcoholic father slept on sofas and park benches, and had set back after set back, and worked flipping hard, and is now quite wealthy maintaining his integrity throughout. People talk to children now about 'poverty traps' - 'you were born into poverty so you are stuck there'. Rather than being told 'you have control over your life, you can change it if you really want to' which gives hope.
Just like Matilda

"Just because you find that life's not fair, it
Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it
If you always take it on the chin and wear it
You might as well be saying you think that it's OK
And that's not right
And if it's not right
You have to put it right
Nobody is gonna put it right for me
Nobody but me is gonna change my story'.

The constant talk about mental health in the media and in schools only serves to perpetuate anxieties. Schools especially, are parading a constant stream of mental health professionals through- leading assemblies, running workshops, and the endless PSCHE lessons analysing children's feelings and anxieties and encouraging them to look out for any signs they have of problems are making the kids paranoid.

There's a lot to be said for the 'if aint broke it don't need fixing' attitude, but in trying to fix the few the rest are being convinced they issues.

It's also dangerous to label perfectly normal feelings as mental health issues.
Being stressed before an exam is not the same as having exam phobia. And there seems to be a massive fear of putting any pressure on kids these days to the point that they can't cope with normal expectations. Being nervous before a presentation is not a reason to not do it, being homesick on a residential is not a reason to stay at home, being shy is not a reason to have an adult speak for you etc. etc.

What age are we talking about. Mid 20's+ are ok, pissed off with the economy and student loans and property prices but working and 'normal'
Adolescents to mid 20's are really struggling though.

My own DD, just 18, is one of <5% in her year who have learnt - it is not about cash, she is at a fee paying school. I wonder what the correlation between driving and general resilience is - I suspect from experience that it is high.

We don't drive - at all so no point paying our kids to learn really - however they can navigate public transport and walking local places or taking a taxi by themselves very well as they've done it with us for years - Transport apps/webpages and google maps there not phased like many of their friends.

Open day for Uni with eldest were done with one parent - offer day they got themselves there on public transport and feet - they were only one to do so rest had at least one parent there.

My parents said driving brought them freedom but if there are impediments to driving -like cost - there are other routes to being self propelled at least in Europe.

Please don’t patronise me @platinumplus.

Did you miss where I said my child is autistic? I am well aware there are people with severe anxiety. I am also aware that (some) students I teach just do not like sitting exams and their passport allows them not to be assessed. Surely you must be aware that some people “play the system” in all walks of life.