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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think people are getting scruffier?

392 replies

HomeIsHardToFind · 25/02/2024 14:27

I am currently house hunting, I have been in a lot of properties recently and to be honest I have been shocked by the state of them!
They look fine in the estate agents photos but when you get there it's a different story.....plates and bowls piled up in the sink, crumbs all over work surfaces, disgusting ovens and urine stains/smells in the loo!
My 'favourite' was the house that had holes punched in the doors of every room (double checked the agents pics and they definitely didn't exist at the time they were taken!).
I get it, I can clean if we bought the house etc, but if you are selling your biggest asset and you want the most amount of money possible surely you make it look the best it can for viewings? I feel like I've stepped into an alternative universe at the moment!
I have also noticed that many more people out and about stink. Not just a bit of a pong or like they have a manual job and haven't showered for 24 hours but full on makes me dry heave absolutely stink!!
I put some fuel in the car this morning and the 'gentleman' that came into the garage as I was leaving smelled rancid, it must have been days and days since he had washed🤢 I could smell him outside in the fresh air!
Maybe I'm getting on (I don't think so, only early 40's!!) but I seem to remember people having more pride in themselves, their home and their families (don't get me started on some of the poor kids I've seen with such greasy hair it looks like it's been stuck to their head with chip oil☹️).
Sometimes I wonder if its COL biting but then I think about people I've known that grew up in the 60's and 70's that were dirt poor taking pride in how clean their mothers managed to keep them with nothing but soap and hot water, so I think the only difference is that the pride has gone?
Has anyone else noticed this or am I just unluckily surrounded by scruffy buggers?!

OP posts:
NoWordForFluffy · 26/02/2024 08:33

IloveAslan · 26/02/2024 06:48

Thank you @EpiscopalOuting. At last someone has read, and answered, my original question.

Google broken for you?

Phone Google It GIF by Minner
NoWordForFluffy · 26/02/2024 08:24

marmaladulation · 25/02/2024 22:00

Every time these threads come up I, ( as a non UK person) get flummoxed. Do you really not shower every day? Like get up , go to the loo, have a shower? I always thought the running theme about English people not washing was a joke, or at least from yesteryear. But it seems you really don't wash very often. Someone upthread was very proud that they washed "every other day"". How often are the rest of you washing? And what the hell is a stripwash? Is it standing in front of a sink and wiping yourself in places? WHY? Just jump in the shower.
I'm going to have to name change now aren't I ? Sorry. You do have a very pretty country though. And I am truly jealous of your lovely weather ( love the cold and rain). Are you really all so poor you can't heat your water for a few minutes? It's a wealthy country. Water can't be expensive - it rains all the time. Sorry, but to the rest of the world it seems a bit weird.
My apologies - do carry on. 😍Love the UK.

Yes. In the UK we're an homogeneous mass of people and we all wash as (in)frequently as each other. #sarcasm

whiteboardking · 26/02/2024 08:19

According to Mumsnet normally - everyone showers at least once a day and washes all towels every day and after each use. All of them even in a family of 4. And everything else.
A far cry from reality in certain places. Washing & drying stuff isn't cheap and needs space

iLovee · 26/02/2024 08:09

PassingStranger · 25/02/2024 15:15

Not noticed that people smell but alot of people don't have pride in keeping their gardens and outdoor áreas clean and tidy.
Remember when women used to clean the step lol
You don't see that now.
Lots of rubbish and litter around too.

I don't think its pride I think for a lot of people it's time! We moved house within the last year and my outside is a state but with 2 young kids (8 months and 2.4) we just don't have the time or energy to do anything about it yet

fromtheshires · 26/02/2024 07:56

Im in the process of conveyancing on my house and my onward purchase. I totally agree with your comments about houses!

One house we went to the light switches were black, the house looked like a hoarder lived there (EA's photos were very cleverly staged and the owner showed us round and lit up a cigarette halfway through Shock, another was as though they had forgotten and just left 5 minutes before our arrival with dirty plates on the side, washing machine on, and generally a mess.

On the other hand when the estate agent came to view my house for valuation he asked if we had made an effort for the photos. Confused I said no this is how I live. I thought he was trying to be funny but after viewing lots of houses over the last few months I think he was genuine in his question.

twinklystar23 · 26/02/2024 07:54

Hmm an working with someone who is homeless (sofa surfing) on a zero hours contract and low pay. He pays for a gym membership so he can have a shower. Doesn't smell at all, so not sure how he is getting his clothes clean. Have another client in a 4 bed council home who told me her daughter tells her "she's an embarrassment going out in her pyjamas" finds the money for weed though. Have someone else who stinks but was a victim of child sexual abuse. So much is a combination of factors not just a CoL.

Hoglet70 · 26/02/2024 07:52

Hoxite274764 · 26/02/2024 07:47

I am sick to death of working and paying taxes to fund other peoples kids. Why is that the taxpayers responsibility?

I was on benefits for 3 years as my husband and I got divorced, my son was newborn and as soon as I got some nursery hours when he was 3 I returned to work. There was no way I could afford to pay for full time nursery on what I was capable of earning. My parents both pointed out to me at the time that they had both paid full stamp and their taxes their whole lives (as had I) and I was entitled to some help, so I took it. I don't see why I should have to justify my 3 years claiming income support many, many years ago to you but you seem to have a massive bee in your bonnet about it. Everyone's circumstances are different and I am by no means a sponger.

I still maintain that it is not hard to have a wash and it is down to standards and not income as to whether you smell or not.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 26/02/2024 07:48

rainbowbee · 25/02/2024 15:56

I hate grey tracksuits so much. I saw a picture of my city in the sixties and people looked smart. Now the half of them wear grey tracksuits. It's so slobby and ugly.

Oh my god this! Grey tracksuits are so so vile. Just why????

in response to the OP I hate to even see estate agent photo with the toilet seat up. It takes what, 10 seconds to put it down? Messy houses are unnecessary imo, my house it’s always tidy and clean ( and yes I have a Ft job and some kids) you only have to look at the state of the houses on sort your life out to realise that actually so many people don’t know HOW to keep a house these days. Standards have really really slipped and it’s so sad. When selling you should be making an effort. - @HomeIsHardToFind whats the price range you’re looking in out of interest?

Hoxite274764 · 26/02/2024 07:47

Hoglet70 · 26/02/2024 07:33

You got out of bed the wrong side today didn't you 😂

I am sick to death of working and paying taxes to fund other peoples kids. Why is that the taxpayers responsibility?

Hoglet70 · 26/02/2024 07:33

Hoxite274764 · 26/02/2024 07:31

Well you were lucky to get them in the PAST. Is that better? Some people can’t get benefits and don’t have the luxury of having a few kids and scrounging off the taxpayer.do you not understand that?Try that in some countries. Yes I know full well that some fathers don’t pay. The government should do more.

You got out of bed the wrong side today didn't you 😂

Hoxite274764 · 26/02/2024 07:31

Hoglet70 · 26/02/2024 07:25

@Hoxite274764 WHEN I was - try reading it properly. Ie, in the past. Did you know that some fathers don't actually pay for their kids in the real world?

Well you were lucky to get them in the PAST. Is that better? Some people can’t get benefits and don’t have the luxury of having a few kids and scrounging off the taxpayer.do you not understand that?Try that in some countries. Yes I know full well that some fathers don’t pay. The government should do more.

Hoglet70 · 26/02/2024 07:25

@Hoxite274764 WHEN I was - try reading it properly. Ie, in the past. Did you know that some fathers don't actually pay for their kids in the real world?

Hoxite274764 · 26/02/2024 07:22

Hoglet70 · 25/02/2024 14:38

@Babyroobs I always managed to have everyone in clean non-smelly clothes when I was a single Mum on benefits. There's a lot of choice involved in what you choose to spend your money on in these situations.

Some very well off people put dirty clothes back on and stink.

Not everyone can get benefits. In some countries you’d be absolutely fucked. Where is the father(s) of your kid(s)Why is he not paying?

EpiscopalOuting · 26/02/2024 06:58

IloveAslan · 26/02/2024 06:48

Thank you @EpiscopalOuting. At last someone has read, and answered, my original question.

No worries - I would temper what I’ve posted (copied and pasted) is from government depts who I personally don’t trust as far as I can throw not to make a profit off poor consumers. So the second post in particular feels like bullshit to me.

The main difference I’d say between UK and NZ is how our governments look after us.

ZsaZsaTheCat · 26/02/2024 06:57

myavocadoisgrowing · 25/02/2024 15:41

Many many years ago we worked full time. Did washing once a week (twin tub) but couldn't afford heating to dry our clothes so they ended up smelling musty. (No central heating just a coal fire)

It was mortifying, but had no solution.

What would you suggest Op?

Heated airer from Lakeland. Very cheap to run. Godsend.

IloveAslan · 26/02/2024 06:50

Butterdishy · 26/02/2024 06:46

I have no idea why some peoples consumption has shot up more than the average increase. You'd have to ask them. On average UK and NZ consumption is pretty similar.

I give up - I never asked about people's consumption. Never mind, my question has now been answered.

IloveAslan · 26/02/2024 06:48

Thank you @EpiscopalOuting. At last someone has read, and answered, my original question.

Butterdishy · 26/02/2024 06:46

IloveAslan · 26/02/2024 06:33

I'll try again - I understand that energy prices have shot up - but WHY have they shot up is what I am asking??

I wouldn't say my consumption is atypical, I certainly don't skimp on energy and if I'm cold I turn the heating on, if hot I turn the air con on, and I don't consciously do anything to limit my use. Pricing here can vary quite a bit depending on which supplier you use. However, some of the bills I read about on here are mind boggling, and my bills for this last year are pretty much the same as they were for the previous year.

My exDH has his heating/air con on 24/7, whether he is there or not, and he tumble dries all his clothes - and even his bills are nothing like some of the bills I read about on MN.

Edited

I have no idea why some peoples consumption has shot up more than the average increase. You'd have to ask them. On average UK and NZ consumption is pretty similar.

EpiscopalOuting · 26/02/2024 06:43

And although global prices are lower now…
”….aren't always passed on to customers: "It's to do with the way energy is bought and sold and the risk associated with this process. To be able to offer fixed rates, energy suppliers need to buy power in advance of selling it to customers. This means the rates at which they have bought wholesale energy to sell today might differ from the current wholesale rates.
"Suppliers also need to factor risk into their price calculations, in much the same way as finance providers factor risk into the prices they charge for credit.
"Energy suppliers are continuously buying energy to make sure there's enough to cover demand. If demand exceeds supply then they need to buy more at current market prices to cover the shortfall. But if supply exceeds demand, then suppliers need to sell the excess energy back to the grid - if the day-ahead price is lower than the price they bought the energy for, then they'll lose money.
"When the market is so volatile, the risk to suppliers is greater and so prices go up. And this is also part of the reason why it can take time and a consistent run of lower rates for any price drops to be passed on to customers."

EpiscopalOuting · 26/02/2024 06:39

IloveAslan · 26/02/2024 06:33

I'll try again - I understand that energy prices have shot up - but WHY have they shot up is what I am asking??

I wouldn't say my consumption is atypical, I certainly don't skimp on energy and if I'm cold I turn the heating on, if hot I turn the air con on, and I don't consciously do anything to limit my use. Pricing here can vary quite a bit depending on which supplier you use. However, some of the bills I read about on here are mind boggling, and my bills for this last year are pretty much the same as they were for the previous year.

My exDH has his heating/air con on 24/7, whether he is there or not, and he tumble dries all his clothes - and even his bills are nothing like some of the bills I read about on MN.

Edited

“The ‘energy crisis’Global prices for gas, electricity, oil and other fuels started to increase from summer 2021 when economies began opening up after pandemic related-lockdowns. This underlying increase was magnified by reduced supply of fuels from some producers and increased tensions between Russia and Ukraine. Prices increased further in late 2021/early 2022 and spiked after Russia launched a full-scale invasion of Ukraine on 24 February 2022. Energy prices in Europe remained very high for much of 2022 with continued concerns around disruption to supply, particularly from Russia.
Wholesale prices for gas and electricity reached new record highs in the UK, Europe and elsewhere during this ‘energy crisis’ and have not returned to their earlier levels. This led to an unprecedented response from governments across Europe. In the short term this was mainly to support consumers facing much higher prices and, for some, to move away from Russian fossil fuels. Medium to longer term policies in the EU and UK aim to reduce dependence on imported fossil fuels more generally.”

IloveAslan · 26/02/2024 06:33

Butterdishy · 26/02/2024 06:03

Energy prices have shot up massively. That's why.
You're in NZ right? A quick Google actually tells me consumption and pricing is very similar. So perhaps your own consumption is atypical.

I'll try again - I understand that energy prices have shot up - but WHY have they shot up is what I am asking??

I wouldn't say my consumption is atypical, I certainly don't skimp on energy and if I'm cold I turn the heating on, if hot I turn the air con on, and I don't consciously do anything to limit my use. Pricing here can vary quite a bit depending on which supplier you use. However, some of the bills I read about on here are mind boggling, and my bills for this last year are pretty much the same as they were for the previous year.

My exDH has his heating/air con on 24/7, whether he is there or not, and he tumble dries all his clothes - and even his bills are nothing like some of the bills I read about on MN.

EpiscopalOuting · 26/02/2024 06:30

SemperIdem · 25/02/2024 15:35

I agree with this. I visited Bucharest relatively recently. Everyone I saw was well presented. Returned home to be greeted by the grey tracksuit wearing masses, the difference was stark.

You visited a capital city - and likely the tourist areas? And are comparing it with the same in London? I’ve not noticed smelly grey tracksuit wearing masses in Central London.

Butterdishy · 26/02/2024 06:03

IloveAslan · 26/02/2024 05:16

Pardon me for breathing! As I said, I don't live in the UK, we didn't have to put on the immersion (whatever that is) to have a bath, the water was constantly heating and in winter much of that heat was generated by the open fire.

I'm trying to understand why energy bills are so high in the UK, but no-one seems to be addressing that. Telling me they are double or triple doesn't tell me why.

Energy prices have shot up massively. That's why.
You're in NZ right? A quick Google actually tells me consumption and pricing is very similar. So perhaps your own consumption is atypical.

IloveAslan · 26/02/2024 05:16

SocksAndTheCity · 25/02/2024 22:51

Good for you, @IloveAslan . Unfortunately I didn't grow up in a financial situation where we could afford to heat water for baths every day - putting the immersion on was something of an occasion.

Energy bills here in the UK are currently double to triple what they were a few years ago, and they weren't cheap then. Most people's income, incredibly, hasn't doubled or tripled to match it (or the increases in food prices, rent, travel and so on).

Pardon me for breathing! As I said, I don't live in the UK, we didn't have to put on the immersion (whatever that is) to have a bath, the water was constantly heating and in winter much of that heat was generated by the open fire.

I'm trying to understand why energy bills are so high in the UK, but no-one seems to be addressing that. Telling me they are double or triple doesn't tell me why.

IloveAslan · 26/02/2024 05:12

ZiriForGood · 25/02/2024 23:40

It seems quite surreal to me as well - when I was a child, the UK was a kind of dream for me. Than I got there a few times and now I read MN and I can't stop wondering how they got to this state.

How I understand it, the biggest issue is heating and damp. Big part of the UK housing stock is quite old and not well insulated and people don't use wood/coal burners at homes much (yes, it has other disadvantages), which makes them very dependent on consumer prices of energies.

Energy prices has grown everywhere across Europe, but the UK seems to be coping worse than average.

Funnily enough I live in a country which is often maligned on MN, with posters saying our housing stock is substanded and our houses cold/damp - then I read posts on here about people's damp houses, how difficult it is to dry washing indoors and it leads to mold etc., so it doesn't actually sound any better. Here we generally only heat the living areas of our houses, and posters are apparently aghast, then they moan about the cost of energy while they are heating bathrooms and bedrooms. It's downright weird.

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