To think people are getting scruffier?

Plus time to load the meter, to heat the water, a way to dry the towel, clean clothes to put on afterwards, money for deodorant. Not saying it's impossible, but throw in a bit of depression it becomes an uphill battle.

Holes in the wall; domestic violence. Very grim. I would feel sorry for the people living there. Same with messed up kitchens, ripped out light fittings. A good number of domestic abusers trash where they live as well as abusing the other people who live with them.

Exactly this! I don't understand most of the madness at all.

I am one of those people with the boring, clean house and kitchen with empty surfaces etc, and I have noticed a lot of almost reverse snobbery about it. People make out you must be dull and uptight, or say you should be playing with your kids and "making memories" etc instead of dusting. I don't think it's either/or personally. And who wants to "make memories" of living in a mess? It is important IMO as when I have let things slide it negatively affects my MH. Appreciate not everyone is as bothered. But some people do seem.proud of the "can't be bothered" attitude and going to the other extreme!

i gave up smoking 2 yrs ago and my sense of smell has come back and it s so acute and is like when i was pregnant

i really hate it anything sightly wiffy is magnified 500% i really can't stand it
the other day on the bus all i could smell was dog but no dog on the bus so obviously someone that lives with one

so im just picking any strong or in my case weak smell up,i wish my sense of smell had never come back,i now where a scarf out so bury my nose in when out and about

Don’t stand behind me at Tesco - I’m an equestrian and have likely been riding and mucking out!

Everyone has time to wash. It takes 5 mins.

I see that on here too. If your home is clean and tidy, it’s a show house and not a home. It means something is wrong in your life. Or soon will be.

If you shower daily, you’re wasting good water. Using any form of soap will bring you out in hives and ruin your fanny.

If you change your bed linen weekly you’re bordering on having ocd. Same as if you have the temerity to wash your towels.

People wear pyjamas and dressing gown for full weekends, and don’t get dressed. They go to the shops in them.

And then people get abused for doing the basics above . Like you are some form of weirdo if you shower and live in a clean and tidy home.

But you need hot water and time to use it!

I do think some of the issues around cleanliness is to do with depression but also sometimes a lack of knowledge.

Like @DontWasteMyTime I was brought up in what you would term as real poverty, in the 1960s/early 1970s in my case.

The difference between then and now is that those who had a bit more in a community didn't have a LOT more. 'They' may have had central heating or an indoor loo, neither of which we had along with no hot water tap nor any form of heating in the bedrooms. But they still only had a holiday at the coast for a week. Not a three week trip to Disneyworld or whatever. And we also had a week to the seaside if mum or dad got a bonus or saved a bit.

And, without social media, we barely knew about what they had. Depression existed, of course it did, but everyone was in the same boat so you didn't see an insurmountable mountain to climb all the time.

Most of my friends lived the same way as we did so we knew no better. When everyone is living the same way you assume that's normal. Which is why you often hear older people saying 'but we were happy' - looking back I have no idea how we could have been happy but I don't look back at my childhood and feel hard done by.

We had clean clothes every day. Sometimes we'd wear something, air it for a few days then re wear it because we didn't get sweaty like adults. Underwear was fresh on every day without fail. Dad shone our shoes every Sunday evening.

Mum and Dad would often hand washed their blouses or shirts at night, pop them on the fireguard and get them dry in between full laundry wash. Laundry day was always on a Saturday as both mum and dad worked full time - as did most of my friends parents, both wages were needed to keep the wolf from the door so, like today, they were short on time.

But another key thing missing nowadays is that we were also taught domestic science (as they called it) at school. That involved hand washing clothes, scrubbing the collar, armpits and cuffs of a blouse or shirt to get it clean, as well as polishing or cleaning furniture, budgeting and cooking. And yes, even in the 1970s, the boys in my class were taught the same.

I don't know of many schools that even do cookery lessons now and even DS's school (which does for just 6 weeks a year), they certainly don't teach laundry or how to clean things etc. The assumption is everyone has a washing machine. Which is fine, until you don't have a washing machine or the oven breaks down or the microwave goes on the blink.

I've noticed this and I do wonder if something changed in deodorant (specifically spray) post Brexit. My dh's deodorant suddenly became completely useless and he was sweating through clothes. He switched to a roll on of a different brand and he's back to normal.

Some of the houses that I go to are really bad, especially the kitchen sinks for some reason. Filled with dishes, cold water, grease, scum, mysterious black slime and washing up brush/scrubby which should be sent to the toxic waste disposal. How these people are still alive is beyond me. Most dishcloths can go through the washing machine, so why do people have them when they're grey and stiff with grease and antibac spray is £1.50 or you can dilute washing up liquid with water and use that for surfaces.

Even if you're busy or fed up you can still keep sinks, toilets, showers reasonably clean and hygienic.

Poor mental heath mostly.
Struggling to cope for other reasons.

I don’t judge people, no one wants to be unwashed and living in squalor.

You are not wrong, OP. I had to move seats in Costa last week, because the couple next to me were rancid.

I don’t think it’s just a COL issue either, but a general pride in out-scruffing… 2 days on MN and you’ll see the competitive scruffiness - no showering/ dressing/ cleaning etc ☹️.

Well at the risk of being pilloried

I will hold hands up to being one of these scruffier, smellier people

And it’s from before Covid & COL although of course the COL thing atm isn’t helping

I was traumatised by DA and undressing at all much less getting fully naked for a shower was so so difficult

During bad times it still is but I try to stay indoors then

Having older relatives living alone and/or with limited heating I empathise with them greatly

I currently only know one person with physical disabilities and they have carers to help but I can imagine the strain on someone coping alone, or caring for another where extra washing may be needed

I understand how my difficulties may impact on others (hence avoiding leaving the house) but like many I do the best I can, and have hope that I can continue to get better

For house selling I’d assume 1 of 3 scenarios:

1. Tenants (Landlord selling while tenants are still in the home with no desire to move)
2. owner doesn’t really want to move - divorcing/mortgage arrears etc
3. mh issues/depression

I got home with dd1 later on Friday after a long drive so we went to McDonald’s at 10pm and the clientele was “interesting”. Never seen so many people in pjs and looking properly grubby.

Those saying “don’t judge” are totally oblivious to human nature. Of course people judge you, all the bloody time but on mn we pretend that’s frowned upon.

I viewed a property where the photos looked good but the house was wrecked - current tenants still there. I had missed the bit in the ad where it said the photos were from prior to the most recent rental

No I don't. They're all stacked sadly behind our garage. I have a rose that needs a prune in a pot and that's all I have potted now

It feels odd the houses were messy with dirty dishes and stuff at a viewing. Unless the EA kind of burst in on them and they hadn't time to clean. They could be working very long hours? As for the holes in the walls, that's someone with anger issues, or maybe a behavioral/ disability? If it's superficial then try and see past it. It's hard to imagine the house totally bare and empty when it's a mess.
As for people having BO more? I can't say I've noticed. I catch the occasional whiff, usually from a man, but it's certainly a minority.
I am pretty low maintenance and if someone saw me now they would probably think I'm a total tramp! I guess a lot of people don't care as much since WFH started, and Covid. It kind of made everyone feel like they can walk around in their pyjamas a bit more maybe? I always had to be smart-ish for the office but so many people are no longer office based.

Agree, I was starting to wonder if I was losing my sense of smell as it's not something I have noticed at all. Perhaps I'm not getting close enough to people and don't use public transport very much although was in London a few weeks ago and on the tube a lot and didn't notice it. Perhaps it's me who smells!

I don't think it's any worse than it used to be. I used to work in a solicitors office years ago and the clients stank well some of them - the smell of abject poverty and hopelessness is a unique one and it's not a bit of BO or someone that's only showered once a week. It was that bad the office would stink so we had a spare office downstairs that we used and would keep the door open - well you'd keep the door open partly because of the smell, partly as some of them were a bit unpredictable so if they went for you it was easy to get out. I wonder if cigarette smoke hid the smell as well - less people smoking proper cigarettes now?

The £3.50 round trip on the bus to Tesco's to find that it's out of stock could be a bit of a bugger, though.

i so agree front gardens where i live are just left and look terrible

i agree with the places for sale i often go on rightmove and the state of some places i cant believe and of course they are not all tenants

i hate hate litter and being untidy some of these homes look dirty and there is a differrence between a bit messy vs looks really dirty and not nice

And whilst you couldn't pay me to have an iphone, I'm pretty sure they're next to nothing when you sign up for a pay monthly contract.

Gosh its the opposite where i live. Everyone's house is like a show home, immaculate, very empty with clear surfaces and it feels like everyone redecorates constantly and is bang on trend. When i was a child family homes looked more lived in, no one had a gleaming new kitchen or bouji looking stylish furniture.