A while ago, we decided to give MIL the benefit of the doubt. She helped us out with IVF and has been trying her best to be nice after years of being rude, offensive, and judgmental towards me.
We've welcomed her into our home and she enjoys her new granddaughter.
Last time she visited at Christmas, she voiced her "concerns" that I was still breastfeeding my DD who was 13 months old, saying that there is no nutritional value and that cow's milk is better. This went on for half an hour and instead of getting angry, we calmly explained how she was wrong and milk has health benefits for 2 years and more if both mother and baby are still happy to do it. This was while she was sat right next to me as I was nursing.
Other things happened during that 3 day visit too, but I held myself in check to be nice. But I was very glad when she left.
Fast foward to last night and MIL phoned to say hi. DH had the phone on loudspeaker as he was cooking and he whispered "shall I tell her?" And i whispered back, "ok what's the worst she can say?"
So DH told MIL that I'd just had a miscarriage.
Well, I did say what's the worst she could say, didn't I?
The first thing out of her mouth was "oh no! Well you know it probably happened because OP is STILL breastfeeding".
I lost it at that point and told her that her comments were rude, offensive and wrong.
She said she was just being "dispassionate" about it.
I said we never asked for her to be dispassionate, we told her because she is interested in our lives and thought she would be sympathetic. Not blame me for my own miscarriage because I'm still breastfeeding!
After another half an hour on the phone, she finally backed down and apologised.
I'm typing on my phone so I can't open a poll, sorry!
AIBU to grey rock her from now on
Or should I have known better and expected her to say something awful, therefore it isn't her fault?