To lose my temper at MIL

You provided a link that you claimed supported your claim that the mil was correct. The link you provided did not support the mil's viewpoint. In fact, it showed that the approach the op is taking (bf plus other sources of food) had a lower rate of miscarriage than those who are not breastfeeding.

Do you have links to any research that supports your claim or are you going to carry on misrepresenting the research that exists?

That’s one article. There are many others honey.

Guidance only changed due to wanting to still promote BF rates, not because the risk was seen to not be there.

Facts are when breast feeding you release a lot of Oxytocin. Also facts are Oxytocin surges have been proven to have a negative impact on implantation and success in early pregnancy.

Again, can I suggest you read the article you linked to. Doubling down on your incorrect interpretation of the article is just making you look ignorant.

Again, you are more than welcome to do your own research. It’s a controversial topic and many studies show an increased risk in MC when BF, it’s suspected to be down to oxytocin release when BF which has long been seen to reduce success in early pregnancy.

MIL is still an idiot for saying it, but isn’t an idiot for thinking it

How many women are actively trying to conceive whilst exclusively breastfeeding a baby in the first six months of the baby’s life? That must be an exclusive club!

in any event regardless of the veracity of your MIL’s assertions @SwordToFlamethrower for her to even say this is in the context of your news is just incomprehensible. I don’t know her but best case scenario is she just has a bad case of thinking out loud but worst case it that she is just an appalling person with no emotional intelligence or compassion. Either way you don’t need her permission to establish much firmer boundaries or indeed drastically scale back the level of contact with her.

sorry for you loss too.

used to be

the question isn’t asking if mil is right (she’s not) but how to respond after that comment. You are now using outdated information to kick op when she’s down. Have you had a miscarriage before, how would you feel being told it was your fault?

op please, please ignore the troll, some people are just awful. It is NOT your fault AT ALL. Please look after yourself.

She was so wrong !!! So wrong it’s unreal. It doesn’t even matter what facts are there or not.. highly inappropriate not to sympathise with you and ask you if you need anything

I am sorry to hear of your MC. ❤️‍🩹 I would just go NC with MIL and she can speak with your DH if he is willing to take her calls.

Not according to the link you provided. The paper you linked to shows highest rate of miscarriage in those EBF, next highest is those not breastfeeding and lowest rate of miscarriage is those using complementary food sources in addition to breastfeeding. Given the age of op's child, she is presumably feeding the child more than breast milk

An AIBU post says otherwise

The Op asked a question, facts are her MIL is a dick for saying it but not a dick for thinking it since there is a lot of research into this issue.

It used to be customary for women to be told to stop BF if miscarriages were an issue in future pregnancies as there is some suggestion the hormones released when BF prevent successful implantation

@Dancingtuna have some bloody respect, she didn't ask for a debate she's asking for support.

@Dancingtuna what do you hope to gain from this? OP has had a miscarriage have some respect.

Love how a factual comment with a link to a study is removed on here

people asked for research and I merely gave one piece

there is plenty more out there, it’s a controversial subject and lots has been done around it over the past 20 years

Actually, they used to think you couldn't get pregnant, so extending beast-feeding was used as 'contraception'.
Of course, pregancies while breastfeeding should have exploded the myth, but some still believe it

There are also increased risks regardless, it’s just higher when EBF.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10674114/
2023 Literature review.

“The results revealed that breastfeeding during pregnancy appeared to be unrelated to pregnancy outcome and miscarriage risk, notwithstanding the need for caution in women at risk of preterm birth and high-risk pregnancies.”

A quick google search means nothing unless there’s some rigour underpinning how results are framed.

And OP, I’d cut down the info train. MIL doesn’t need to know what’s going on in your life,

So you didn't actually read the article you've linked to then?

If you had even read the abstract, never mind the whole article, it is clear that the increased rate of miscarriage is only evident when exclusively breastfeeding. Given the op's child is now 15 months I very much doubt the dc is being exclusively breastfed.

In fact, the article states that the rate of miscarriage is actually lower for those who practise complementary feeding (14%) than those not breast feeding at all (15%).

Even if mil wrote a 'factual' book about her beliefs she should have kept her big gob shut...

As a general principle, I think it's always unreasonable to lose your temper.

But in this case, I think you were entirely justified. Your MIL is crass and insensitive.

So sorry for your loss.

Google is available to everyone but pretty pointless if you don't actually read and comprehend what you google.

I have also spent a few minutes googling and found some articles saying it does and some saying it doesn’t. It certainly seems to be the case that in the past (possibly MIL’s generation) that women were advised to stop breastfeeding if they became pregnant, although it could be that this is outdated thinking now.

Your “evidence “ relates to EBF which is pretty unlikely in OPs case.

I couldn’t forgive or forget @SwordToFlamethrower and wouldn’t want anything to do with her