To lose my temper at MIL

Hope you're ok OP. Don't tell her anything of a sensitive nature again, she's obviously mega judgmental and nasty with it.

Think @Dancingtuna needs to read this before posting anymore

Op’s mil just had to say
’I'm sorry to hear this. It must be tough for you both.’

It’s not hard for mil to be sympathetic and keep her own ignorant views to herself.

Your last sentence is key and is what the whole thread is about!! It isn't about whether MIL is right/wrong in her thinking it's about what she said, how she reacted to the MC!!
So why are you posting things trying to justify what she said? It's irrelevant
OP I am so sorry for your loss. I agree what she has said is unforgiveable. I also agree with what another poster said when they said you need to keep her at arm's length. She won't change.

What a horrible and completely ignorant thing to say.
I am very sorry for your loss. I can't give you any advice about your mother in law but she does sound both stupid and unkind.
And just to add my DD had two successful pregnancies while still breastfeeding.

Again, why are you determined to ignore basic facts of biology?

If you've made a twat of yourself by posting a link that doesn't actually back up your claims, it's customary to slink off and consider a name-change. Doubling down just makes you look like you've a bit swivel-eyed and spittle-flecked.

There is an increased risk when exclusively breastfeeding. They err on the side of caution by stating no breastfeeding as it is easier to have a blanket ban than determining on a case by case basis when the threshold of supplementary feeding is met. Plus it's easier for their clients to understand a blanket ban.

Oh, that's wicked.

Ahh, just seen the much weirder update about MIL. Probably be pulling back a bit.

Again
why are you determined to hurt someone suffering a loss? Keep your thoughts to yourself, you could have been so much nicer but you’ve just been rude and nasty.

Oh I’m sorry for your loss OP. I don’t know anything about the risks of breastfeeding on pregnancy but after reading the comments it sounds as though it may have been the advice given some time ago to MIL. She absolutely shouldn’t have said it but it sounds like it was a bit of a knee jerk response to your DH telling her. Also, this may not apply to your MIL, but I know some people of her generation who aren’t particularly understanding of miscarriages particularly if they are early on in the pregnancy. I have one relative who told me she’d had multiple miscarriages and she was just expected to get on with stuff if it happened and she doesn’t now understand the fuss around them. Sad because she clearly was never allowed to grieve her losses but she’s fallen out with a couple of family members because of her views.

I wouldn’t go NC with her. I’d accept she said something incredibly hurtful but she did apologise and if you have an otherwise good relationship with her I would put it behind me but keep your private medical details private.

Again, why do you think IVF clinics in the UK tell women they have to have stopped BF 2-3 months before attempting a transfer?

They deem there to be a substantial risk otherwise it wouldn’t be on their very short list of things to avoid

While those of us who are actually capable of reading and understanding very basic information in scientific articles would think you are ignorant.

Read it fully.

Associated risks are fully explained.

Don't be a Muppet!

Thank you, finally someone with a little sense

IVF clinics across the country wouldn’t tell women not to BF for no reason

I’d not say it but I’d think it

As would anyone with common sense

I don't think it matters if MIL was correct or incorrect on the associated risks, it was a dispassionate response in that moment, and her thoughts and input on the topic were not invited.

Before making a big decision about going NC with her, consider fully the impact on your DD and her future family life, and also on your DH of that decision. Now that your DD has a relationship with your MIL, there will be a loss there. Do not make this decision when you are acutely hurt and grieving - let things settle.

It may be that a simple "Whilst I note your concerns, I will be taking medical advice about what is best for my and my daughter's health and development only from my doctor/s, midwife and health visitor, and do not seek any additional input at this time." may suffice. Your partner has to be fully on board with this - you cannot take this position and then have him calling his mum up for any sort of related health/parenting advice. Either her opinion is invited or it isn't, full stop, or she will not get the message.

Well, according to the study linked to by a pp, mixed feeding has a lower risk of miscarriage than not breastfeeding.

OP did not ask if she was being unreasonable to breastfeed while TTC/pregnant.
OP did not ask if she caused her own miscarriage.
OP did not ask if her MIL was factual.

OP asked if she was unreasonable to have lost her temper at someone who blamed her for her own miscarriage when she is clearly still grieving.

If one of your friends came to you having suffered a miscarriage, would you blame them for it?

Its any nursing, as long as milk is being produced, the hormones are present. As mentioned above ivf clinics would not start any treatment until its been 3 months no nursing at all. Some womens are more sensitive than others

@Dancingtuna stop being a troll. A ivf clinic wouldn't blame a woman for a miscarriage, so why are you so desperate to?
No wonder people are leaving MN is droves with people like you on here. Just plain nasty.