Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feel insecure about my age and that men want younger

38 replies

Psychosomaticaddict · 24/02/2024 20:27

I'm 32, 33 in a couple of months and recently got rejected by a guy who's 30, 31 in July. So I'm pretty much 2.5 years older, he didn't say this but I am wondering if it's anything to do with me being a little older, and men that age wanting someone in their 20s.
I mean if he did, that's fine, but I am worrying ill always have to go older from now on.
Also wondering if he (and others) think that women of my age are desperate to get married and have children. I would like it at some point but only with the right person, I'm not desperate. I didn't say anything to suggest this. What do others think?

OP posts:
Appleblum · 25/02/2024 05:37

You're too young to be wondering this. And a 2 years age difference is nothing!

Tatonka · 25/02/2024 04:51

YABU, if you want kids then your clock is ticking so unless you meet someone who is keen to have kids asap then most people will go for someone younger as it buys them more 'time'

MixedCouple · 25/02/2024 04:31

rubyredknowsitall · 24/02/2024 20:44

If you're nearly 33, you might need to seriously consider if you want children? I divorced when I was 34, met my current husband when I was 35 and married soon after. I'm 37 now and after 2 miscarriages finally pregnant (3rd trimester).

Luckily he's a bloody wonderful guy who moved quickly so I could have a child before I got too old - and if he hadn't been like that I'd be looking at possible childlessness now.

I also wasn't desperate then and only would have had a child with the right man (I'd had an abortion 2 months before meeting my husband) but, tbh if I wasn't pregnant now I'd be a little desperate. 32 to 37 has swung around really fast for me. Just food for thought

Sinilar with me. I met DH at 32 married at 33 and had DS at 34. But he was the right guy and we discussed infertility and both agreed if we couldn't have children we xould adopt or stay childless and I still feel that way as 4.5 years later he is still the wonderful amazing man I met back then and ia a fantastic father to DS. I will be 37 when DC 2 arrives and that's fine by me.

MixedCouple · 25/02/2024 04:28

I don't agree. Might be a few who still think that way but not really the case. I got divorced in my 20's (no kids) and in my early 30's assumed i was done for. However was really surprised at the proposals from younger men, some 1 - 7 years younger.

But I will say don't assume thats why unless told so. I had someone propose to me. This guy was 43 at the time I was 32 and when he found out my age he said no he is looking for someone 25 and under! I wasn't interested anyway as he didn't take care of his appearence or health.

Jensbiscotti · 25/02/2024 04:09

A lot of men are on manosphere forums now. I routinely see and hear men telling women over 25/30 they’ve hit the wall and are washed up/used up, and will grow old alone with cats for company.

No you are not old op, we just live in a very messed up misogynistic society. You’ve probably absorbed some of those horrible messages as a woman.

Men can be awful, they’re worse when they enter their 40/50s they definitely don’t want women their own age, so
women the same ages either have 2 choices, stay single or date men decades older than themselves.

FunionsRFun · 24/02/2024 21:03

I'm 32 and my DP is 27.

Yorkshireknitter · 24/02/2024 21:01

My DH is several years younger than me, in my experience if you want to be with someone then it’s not a barrier at all.

I know in OLD that some men your age will be setting their age limits to below 30, but that’s just doing you the favour of screening out some shallow idiots. 😉

Bex5490 · 24/02/2024 21:00

From what my single friends say, dating in general gets harder the older you get…

But 33 is not old! I don’t think a 31 year old would finish with you because of age.

rubyredknowsitall · 24/02/2024 20:44

If you're nearly 33, you might need to seriously consider if you want children? I divorced when I was 34, met my current husband when I was 35 and married soon after. I'm 37 now and after 2 miscarriages finally pregnant (3rd trimester).

Luckily he's a bloody wonderful guy who moved quickly so I could have a child before I got too old - and if he hadn't been like that I'd be looking at possible childlessness now.

I also wasn't desperate then and only would have had a child with the right man (I'd had an abortion 2 months before meeting my husband) but, tbh if I wasn't pregnant now I'd be a little desperate. 32 to 37 has swung around really fast for me. Just food for thought

Rattai · 24/02/2024 20:42

My partner is 10 years younger than me. I think it depends on the person as to their preference

Zola1 · 24/02/2024 20:32

I'm 32 and it's never crossed my mind that I'm 'too old' to be honest

Dartmoorcheffy · 24/02/2024 20:29

Dp was 32 when I met him. I was 44. That's ten years ago.

Original poster
Psychosomaticaddict · 24/02/2024 20:28

It's a shame because I am confident in my looks, in myself and who I am, but recently I've been feeling like this.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread