To think she shouldn't put him in tights?

It's a complete non issue for me. Why is it upsetting?

Op, so sorry to hear about your situation. Sending good wishes to you and your family. xxx

@TathingScinsel 😍That website! 'compression and hug sensation'
There's official terminology for something I've always searched out but struggled to describe aloud to others without sounding batshit.

Here’s a 6 year old thread of autistic adult women discussing the sensory issues that tights can create.

it’s entirely probable that this poor little non-verbal boy is experiencing lots of the same uncomfortable sensations.

I’d use this sort of info as a basis to tackle the FC (via the SW):

https://www.autismforums.com/threads/sensory-issues-freaking-tights.22354/

Just out of interest, where is the Foster carer from? I work in a SEN school and the child who have parents if eastern European descent almost always come in with tights/leggings on under their trousers, even on quite warm spring/autumn days.
Depending on what type if SEN he has (neurodiverse/ physical disability) parents perceive that their child with a physical disability will cold as be moving less, could that be a factor?
You say he is unable to express himself, so maybe FC worries about him not being able to say he us cold so goes for extra layers. Although same goes for being too hot. If the nursery think he is too warm, surely they can just take them off him, and put on for hometime.
FC do not have to follow parents requests if they do not feel in child's best interests, but they are supossed to follow SW guidance.
Is he still in nappies, are they being used to hold this on? Maybe some cycling shorts might be a better option for this

If family have concerns about the FC, could they look after the child instead, as a familiar person?

I wear tights or long johns under my clothes nearly all winter. I find it odd kids (at 4 too) would know how he was wearing them at all or even knowing that they’re ‘for girls’ - which they’re not exclusively btw.

Lots of SEN girls hate tights too. I think they are a very love or hate item for people (especially children) with sensory sensitivity, not much middle ground.

It’s such an oft-observed phenomenon that specialist products exist eg: https://sensorysmart.co.uk/collections/seamless-tights-cotton?grid_list=grid-view

Joggers are often a very acceptable clothing choice for ASD children, plus they are cheap to buy and easy to wash - seems to me they are an obvious start point for the sensory sensitive, whereas tights are an obvious avoid-unless-compulsory for school uniform item!

Seems like the FC is making everyone miserable for no good practical reason at all.

Haven't read the full thread.

Tights are not 'undifnified' at any age for either sex.

Does he wear vests, as if still in nappies maybe the FC is using the tights to hold his nappy up?

If the child is too hot nursery should be saying something to the carer.

Hope mum gets better soon, must be so hard for her.

Bloody hell I don't think I've ever read a nastier thread on here! Some of you posters should be utterly ashamed of yourselves.

I just can't imagine how hard this is for you all OP, I think in your shoes I'd be focusing on the too hot issues (I still remember how sweaty and itchy wooly tights are, especially behind the knees, and I only ever wore them with dresses) But I'd also try and appeal to the compassion of the FC. Mum has so much to worry about, and is going through so much that something as simple as no tights would make a massive difference to her. She's got so little control over what's happening to him, or herself, and this is such an easy fix that any decent human being would do it unless there was an essential reason not to such as smearing etc in which case I'd send him with thin leggings for underneath to at least stop the itchiness.

Sending love to you all. The way you've kept your cool on here with such unpleasantness is exemplary. I hope things improve very soon.

Having standards for foster carers isn't 'going after' them. If you think there should be any kind of sacred caste working around children, you need to take another safeguarding course.

don’t go after a selfless person who fosters other peoples children because of an item of clothing she puts them in.

I wouldn’t assume someone is a good or selfless person because they are foster carers. In my experience there were some outstanding foster carers who made me tear up when I saw how amazing they were and what an Impact they made on the children, but there were also some who clearly done it purely for the money.

I also grew up with a girl who has recently received a significant amount of compensation for the abuse she suffered in two of her foster care placements.

Again to be clear there are great foster carers also but I can’t assume they’re all selfish lovely humans who put the children’s needs first.

And some people wonder why there is a shortage of foster carers.

OP, just another thought; has the nursery said anything to the FC about the tights? They are obviously dealing with this on a day to day basis and seeing his discomfort. You say that they remove the tights but put them back on for him to go home. Could his DM not ask that they don't put them back on and tell the FC that they are having to remove them because he is too hot?