To think she shouldn't put him in tights?

You’ve been so patient responding repeatedly that your concerns are primarily about the child being to hot and the fc not taking aboard the mothers wishes. Of course it makes no sense for him to be put in tights if it’s not cold. And poor mum, dealing with cancer and then having her go wises pushed aside repeatedly. And poor little boy, away from mum and from the sounds of it uncomfortable and not able to articulate his preferences. Is there a foster organistion/social worker who could have a word with the fc? Good luck with sorting the situation out. Sure you’ll eventually get there.

You do understand that kids can go to foster care for all sorts of reasons that are not related to bad parenting?!

The OP has already stated mum is unwell.
Shame on you

Dad is not on the scene? No grandparents? Poor bub, and poor mum. I am also a FC , some of the inappropriate clothes that arrive with children are astonishing. I have had to buy warm clothes for children who arrive in winter with one tshirt that doesn't fit.
I pay for those extra clothes myself, so I'm surprised the FC has gone and out and bought tights for no reason.
I'd be speaking to the nursery first - they will know if he is uncomfortable during the day.
I hope all goes well with ( what I am assuming is ) your sister.

Op, I’m ashamed of my comment. I’m so sorry 😭

Have nursery not brought it up? If he's as hot and uncomfortable as you say has mum not brought up that nursery haven't changed him?

Could it be that he does actually get cold at nursery and therefore the tights are appropriate there?

If he's 4 and still in a nappy maybe the FC feels the tights hold the nappy in place. Also I'd be amazed if other DC knew what this DC was wearing under his trousers. How on earth would they know? I'm a FC and provided you put DFC in clothes that are clean and not broken it would be a non issue with my SW. If the clothing was dirty or broken it would be a problem. Just a thought but could the FC be trying to conceal the fact this 4 year old is still in a nappy?

I have a 4 yr old boy and wouldn't put tights on under trousers that's so uncomfortable!! My son would have a fit!

Yes, very.

We lived in Germany for 6 years and it was very common for boys 6 and under to wear tights under trousers when it was cold. You could even buy them in packs with "masculine" colors such as royal blue, navy blue, dark grey and brown. It certainly kept the chills out.

Does the foster carer provide clothes or do they come from home?

Does DC struggle with the feel of trousers?

There's a separate fostering specific board on Mumsnet too, OP, if you want responses that are more understanding of the situation.

You have spectacularly missed the point.

It's it NOT about stereotypes.

It's about a young child with SEN and minimal vocabulary being uncomfortable in an item of clothing.

It doesn't matter what that clothing is. It could be a woolly hat or a onesie.

Many male children wear tights or long underwear and do so happily as they are functional garments.

It's a non issue that's a red herring for the actual issue of a child WHO CANNOT EXPLAIN that being put in clothing that makes them uncomfortable/overheated.

Can't believe the replies here, OP. You've been very patient. Mum has rights, as you know, and the bottom line is this isn't great for the child. I agree with prev poster: clear concise written communication with FC's SW. Can mum's SW liaise with FC SW? If it's been raised already and FC is not cooperating they need to go back to her and find out what the reason is, and explain that she needs to stop. If nursery are also noticing the issue you could ask them to provide written comms also, and pass on accordingly. Honestly - we got half way through the process to be FCs but our house isn't ideal for it with the specific requirements needed, changes would take significant work. It frustrates me that there are so few of them making it through and the ones who are approved are people who don't always understand the importance of respecting parents' wishes where reasonable. I mentioned during the training that my kid mostly wears second hand stuff and SW stated that new clothes are most appropriate for foster children, understandably. It's equally appropriate for him to be in clothes that aren't going to single him out in any other way. I hope you get somewhere with this.

Nursery!?! Kids at don't gaf what other kids are wearing. If a kids toonhot, take off layers. It's winter. JC.