To think she shouldn't put him in tights?

I don't agree with mum's or SW's reasoning and don't think there's anything wrong with tights, but the foster carer should follow parent's wishes where appropriate. Foster care isn't a punishment for parents.

The issues here as I see them are that firstly the foster carer should be listening to and working with Mum. So if Mum says no tights, then it's no tights. Secondly the concern is that the little boy is uncomfortable and hot, again FC should take this on board in order to provide the best care for little boy.
I did put tights on my son when he was a baby during very cold spells though not at age four. However what I did with my son is irrelevant as I am not the parent of this little boy.
And can we stop stigmatising the mum for not having her son with her full time, none of us know her circumstances.

Oh my GOD. Read the fucking thread!

Good, engage your brain before your words. An example of typical mumsnetter

But perhaps she doesn’t even get why the tights aren’t ok? It’s like saying why did she bring the child along with hair longer than an inch because ‘everyone knows boys need shaved heads with very short hair because hair round the ears or hair that’s curling at all is for girls’. That’s equally ridiculous.

Maybe the mum needs to look at her regressive ideas and the message they might send in future? This week I saw a mum in the supermarket snapping at her son when he pointed to a pink character Easter egg and said that was the one he wanted for Easter. She told him it was “for girls”. When he said “but I like it”, she took his hand and pulled him away.

Pretty much all attitudes like that stem from homophobia IMO. Poor little boy.

There are two possible reasons the FC is putting him in tights . (1) for warmth (2) to secure his nappy.

To my mind, there are legitimate reasons to ask her to stop (1) he’s too hot (2) the feel and texture of the tights fabric is upsetting him.

There is also a non-legitimate reason to ask her to stop: tights are for girls.

You, the BM and the SW (though I find this hard to believe) are bothered about the wrong thing.

What an absolutely nasty, assumptious reply. OP has stated several times that mother is ill, I’ve seen since you wrote this shite that OP has confirmed mother has cancer.

I hope you feel stupid, ashamed and sorry. You massive idiot

If the child has been taken into foster care then tights are the least of his problems. If Mum wants to decide what he wears then maybe don’t get him taken off you?

It seems a funny thing for mum to focus on, given the situation. I hope she feels better and able to have her son back soon

Couldn't anyone else in the family have had him, to save him going to a stranger?

I don't believe the SW has said she shouldn't. I think this is the OP's own sexist view and she thinks by saying the SW agrees it adds credence her story. I don't believe other toddlers make fun of him or even think of tights as girls clothes. I think it is the OP and the mum perpetuating sexist views and then at some stage it will turn into another anti trans Mn Thread.

My son wore tights when he was younger. Knowing how ridiculous some people are, I bought him ‘boys tights’ and they were fab. Nobody commented on them apart from one mum who praised the pattern on them and the thickness and asked me where I’d got them. They were lovely and warm and comfortable for him.

It’s perfectly normal for boys to wear tights. Wtf is wrong with people?

I know some Asian families in our school community layer up their little ones, we get lots of 4-5 year olds wearing little long John's and roll neck tops well into the summer. Is she from a warmer country originally? I wonder if she just feels the cold and then is worried that he is too.

Perfectly normal way of dressing in Europe in winter. Maybe it is a sensory issue or he removes his socks otherwise.

Do you mean tights or leggings? Actually I put my boy in both. He’s 8 now and still wears leggings

You and his mother need to make this very clear when talking to social workers. This isn’t about what’s dignified or the worry that other kids could potentially realise and could potentially mock him for it. That’s too much speculation, too much “could”, “might” etc. A bit of a storm in a tea cup tbh.

The boy being uncomfortable and too hot is relevant.
Itchy skin, red spots etc. are as well.

Mentioning this to SW and expecting the FC to be mindful of this - especially important in the case of a mostly non-verbal child - would be best (imo).

A lot of adults are sexist. Concerns about putative sexist 4-year-olds can be a good cover.

Some parents do put them on boys as a base layer in winter. At nursery they don’t usually notice or comment on each others clothing.

If a child in our care was hot we’d help them take them off as we would with jumpers etc.

In terms of what to do the social worker may need to intervene and make it clear that it is making the child and family unhappy.