To think she shouldn't put him in tights?

Regardless of boy or girl there is no need for tights under trousers in the current weather, perhaps if it was freezing then a good idea as an extra layer. Has foster carer said why they are doing it?

YANBU as first of all it would be really restricting & hot to have tights under trousers. Secondly they are a girls item of clothing. DS was bothered about what he wore from quite a young age & there's no way he would have agreed to wear tights at the age of 4!

You're getting some bizarre responses here.

No, the FC is being paid to look after the child in partnership with the mother and social services, within the guidelines of fostering.

The most important of which is that the FC doesn’t have any PR and should be listening to the professionals involved and the mother.

Making him hot, uncomfortable and irritable is harming him. Not being guided by him and the people who know him is harming him.

Nice try. We all know what you meant.

That poster is indicating that she is so clever and has worked out that you are making it all up. Not clever enough though to know she should report if she thinks that.

I think you’re confusing matters.

unecessary items because it’s hot - fine. You may have a point.

going on about being dignified, being picked on, mum doesn’t like it etc is all ridiculous. They are all issues you are creating/imagining. It’s not undignified it’s a piece of clothing for gods sake. And there has been absolutely no mention of any other 4 year olds noticing let alone commenting, so the argument of him being picked on is entirely in your head.

it’s a difference in opinion, but ultimately he’s not being harmed and the foster carer os being paid to look after the child in the way she thinks best.

Massive diversion here, OK.🙄 You must be in politics 😂

It has been explained the the poor little boy is uncomfortable and hot, and that is the OP, the mother’s and the SW concern.

It has been explained that the FC is ignoring mother’s and SW concerns

This issue at a time when mother is going through cancer diagnosis and treatment is going to stress her out, which isn’t going to help.

And he doesn’t like wearing them. Stop projecting

Right, so his mother who has successfully brought him up for 4 years, the nursery staff who have known him for years and the specialist SW who has known him for years are all wrong?

The fact the child is red in the face, blotchy, irritable and hot is irrelevant?

The fact that when the tights are removed he stops being distressed, hot and blotchy indicates that he WANTS to be wearing woolly tights- and the FC has divined this fact that every other fucker has missed?

Right.

Given the wee boy is in foster care I'd say you all have more serious things to worry about than policing gender normative clothing. FFS.

Another vile comment.

Disgusting.

10 degrees is cold, especially if he's playing outside at nursery.

It really isn’t! Minus temperatures are cold! If 4 year olds are outside, they’re generally running around being active, not standing about. That’s what adults do and they don’t normally wear tights under trousers! Tights are normally associated with girls because girls wear skirts and dresses. However, when it’s this mild there are plenty of girls just wearing socks with their dresses.

i assume mum still holds parental responsibility so her requests should be respected. If he was outside on a snowy walk but indoors it sounds completely unnecessary. Social workers do uphold people’s dignity. I think some people are giving you a hard time OP

It doesn't matter why he's in foster care, what matters is that he is, that's he's away from his family. Maybe he likes wearing tights, maybe they help him feel snug and secure and protected, like swaddling for a baby, or a blankie. Maybe that's what the carer has picked up on.

My point is focus on the important stuff, not stereotypical boys and girls clothing.

@Stravaig @Lumiodes read the thread ffs- the mothers only failing is to have cancer!

Presumably that could never happen to you?!

A shit thing has happened to the mother of a disabled child, the child’s life is turned upside down and a FC is compounding the utter devastation of the situation by refusing to listen to reason and deciding she knows better than the mother, the nursery staff and the specialist SW.

It's horrible. OP is doing well to ignore them.

This thread is really bringing out the nasty bigots of mumsnet isn’t it. Perhaps read the full thread before commenting.

To quote you, FFS

This is wrong. If she lacks sense in this what other poor judgements is she making. Sounds totally unsuitable to be fostering.

Indeed. Like the fact that her sister, the little boy's mum, has cancer.