Absolute bollocks. It isn’t about your kids, or how hot or cold they are- it’s about this child and hot or cold HE is.
HE is too hot and uncomfortable- the nursery staff who have known him longer than the FC can see this- they remove the tights, his family who know him better than anyone can see this, and they remove them. The SW can see this and has told the FC to stop, as have the family.
The FC is there to take care of the child while the mum gets over cancer- this is a devastating situation for the child (who already has SEND to deal with), and the family.
The FC should be 100% prioritising the safety and comfort of the child, and should be being guided on all issues by the mother (who still has PR in all matters), and the SW who is aware of the child’s SEND- that is her job.
The SW might have views on gendered clothing that you don’t agree with (neither do I), and presumably the FC doesn’t either- but that is totally irrelevant.
If the FC isn’t capable of discerning the child’s needs herself by observing him being hot/red in the face/irritable, and isn’t willing to listen to his mother (who’s only crime is to be ill with cancer and not have a family member who has the capacity to take in a disabled 4 year old indefinitely), the nursery professionals or the SW- what the fuck else isnt she able to see?!
Just try and imagine being a single mum with a disabled 4 year old, finding out you have cancer and the treatment you need to try and stay alive is going to make you so so ill that the only option is for someone else, that you don’t know, to step in and take care of your child.
You are deathly ill, and you have to make the selfless decision to allow your disabled 4 year old, whom you know will be devastated and frightened, and who doesn’t even have the language to express that, to go and live with a stranger.
You have to trust that that stranger will take care of your child, be kind to them and meet their already complex needs at a time when they are incredibly emotionally and physically vulnerable- you trust them to do that while knowing that they don’t love your child like you do.
And then that FC ignores a simple request, from 3 different sources- she has the arrogance to think she knows your child, whom you have brought up for 4 years and whose every need is as clear as day to you, better than you.
And you think you wouldn’t be bothered and @TotoroElla and the child’s mother should ‘grow up’?!
You wouldn’t think, if she can’t see he is too hot and she doesn’t care how I, as his mother, want him to be cared for- then what else is she doing? Is she feeding him properly? Does she know when he is full or hungry? Can she tell when his nappy needs to be changed? Does she notice when he is frightened and misses his mummy, and does she reassure him?
You would be a grown up would you, and turn off all your care and worry for your child?