To think she shouldn't put him in tights?

Yes! Some ND people love a tight hugging sensation and others cannot cope with it at all! Some people like it on a top half (eg sports bra) and hate it on a lower half (tights) and vice versa and some people are ok with it on Monday and feel like it’s gonna suffocate them on Tuesday.

There are lots of resources online re: clothing and sensory processing sensitivities but unfortunately the historical bias of only boys being diagnosed early and tights being an item of clothing usually worn by girls means that official literature relating directly to tights is a bit lacking. Lots of discussion on forums though (both mums of daughter and adult autistic women) and lots of official generalised info re: things like tight waist bands and toe seams.

Hopefully the FC will see sense if someone can explain that tights on a sensory sensitive person can feel like torture.
Occupational Therapists who specifically work with autistic people are absolutely brilliant on this stuff and while wait lists are long, the little chap in the OP will almost definitely benefit from OT involvement, if he doesn’t already have it.

if he does have an OT, get them to write a letter to social services re: clothing and sensory overload (which can seem like overheating, whilst being a slightly different physiologically mechanism).

Is he prone to taking his socks off? I’ve put my baby/younger toddler boy in tights under his trousers when it’s cold as he doesn’t keep his socks on, it’s either that or his has very cold feet. I’ve also put my boys tights on under trousers when it’s freezing outside, joggers aren’t all that warm so a. Extra layer helps.

The FC putting the child in tights wouldn’t be my hill to die on though, let it go, it’s nearly summer anyway so it won’t be an issue anymore.

Perhaps read the full thread or even just the OP posts and you will see the issue.

Read the OPs posts. He dosen't like them. He is too hot with them on to the point he is crying and his skin is red and blotchy with the heat,

It's a complete non issue for me. Why is it upsetting?

Right, but was he hot, blotchy itchy and distressed?

Were you his foster carer who continued to make him uncomfortable like this when his mother, nursery and SW had told you to stop?

No? Then it’s not relevant is it.

Op, so sorry to hear about your situation. Sending good wishes to you and your family. xxx

The OP has explained this already. Don't judge if you can't be arsed reading the OP comments.

I avoided thread initially because I thought the same but I’m absolutely shocked at some of the vile responses on here.

It’s completely derailed the thread, the OP has been so calm and patient, glad she is advocating for this child and supporting his mother.

@TathingScinsel 😍That website! 'compression and hug sensation'
There's official terminology for something I've always searched out but struggled to describe aloud to others without sounding batshit.

That is really really weird and really off. After covid when all the windows in my DC's schools were open, DS was very cold and wore thermals under his school uniform. But they were specifically thermals, the sort used by hikers etc, not girl's tights.

It sounds a weird controlling behaviour from the foster career not taking into account his needs. Does she have some agenda? Was she wanting to look after a girl? Has she swallowed some gender guff about cross dressing children?

I would be angry and concerned.

And I would agree with the other poster, contact the SW and ask them to speak with the SSW. This is about views and wishes. The child’s views are apparent if he’s uncomfortable and mum has made hers clear with the SW’s backing. It needs raising at the next LAC review but if it’s ongoing I would email and have a written record if it needs escalating before that date. He’s likely to be eligible for a non instructed advocate if you’re really getting nowhere but with the SW backing, I can’t imagine this won’t be resolved. (I’m an advocate btw)

Here’s a 6 year old thread of autistic adult women discussing the sensory issues that tights can create.

it’s entirely probable that this poor little non-verbal boy is experiencing lots of the same uncomfortable sensations.

I’d use this sort of info as a basis to tackle the FC (via the SW):

https://www.autismforums.com/threads/sensory-issues-freaking-tights.22354/

I work in infants schools.

It's getting increasingly common to find the boys wearing leggings or tights under their trousers.
In my area it's more common amongst black and eastern european communities. Does the foster family fall into either of those categories?

Don't be an arsehole if you can't even be bothered to read the OP posts. She said early on teh rea.son for the foster care

Just out of interest, where is the Foster carer from? I work in a SEN school and the child who have parents if eastern European descent almost always come in with tights/leggings on under their trousers, even on quite warm spring/autumn days.
Depending on what type if SEN he has (neurodiverse/ physical disability) parents perceive that their child with a physical disability will cold as be moving less, could that be a factor?
You say he is unable to express himself, so maybe FC worries about him not being able to say he us cold so goes for extra layers. Although same goes for being too hot. If the nursery think he is too warm, surely they can just take them off him, and put on for hometime.
FC do not have to follow parents requests if they do not feel in child's best interests, but they are supossed to follow SW guidance.
Is he still in nappies, are they being used to hold this on? Maybe some cycling shorts might be a better option for this

If family have concerns about the FC, could they look after the child instead, as a familiar person?

I wear tights or long johns under my clothes nearly all winter. I find it odd kids (at 4 too) would know how he was wearing them at all or even knowing that they’re ‘for girls’ - which they’re not exclusively btw.

It really isn't a funny thing for the focus on. She will be feeling that she has no control over her life just now. She is having treatment that is very much dictatedm when, where and how long. Her child is living with someone else and her whole life is upside down. If she can get some comfort if she knows that the FC is taking her wishes into account. The FC should be listening to what the mum is saying and not rying to override her.

Lots of SEN girls hate tights too. I think they are a very love or hate item for people (especially children) with sensory sensitivity, not much middle ground.

It’s such an oft-observed phenomenon that specialist products exist eg: https://sensorysmart.co.uk/collections/seamless-tights-cotton?grid_list=grid-view

Joggers are often a very acceptable clothing choice for ASD children, plus they are cheap to buy and easy to wash - seems to me they are an obvious start point for the sensory sensitive, whereas tights are an obvious avoid-unless-compulsory for school uniform item!

Seems like the FC is making everyone miserable for no good practical reason at all.

Haven't read the full thread.

Tights are not 'undifnified' at any age for either sex.

Does he wear vests, as if still in nappies maybe the FC is using the tights to hold his nappy up?

If the child is too hot nursery should be saying something to the carer.

Hope mum gets better soon, must be so hard for her.

I Agree, that particular poster has form for ill thought out responses but this is a new low even for them.