To think she shouldn't put him in tights?

That's fair enough and understandable.

@AdrianGreenwood if you read the whole thread it becomes clear that the main issue is the boy being hot and uncomfortable but not being able to communicate this for himself.

Absolutely correct, my ex used to do this, as a second generation windy. I've also been reliably told that scaffolders put tights on under trousers to keep warm when it's windy.

Black teen boys in London sometimes do this, at the insistence of African parents who think the UK is a place of such punishing cold that you risk hypothermia by going out with just one later on in July. (Source: male friend who teaches PE in a London school and sees the boys changing). What culture is the foster parent from? Perhaps she could at least be persuaded to go for more masculine long johns?

Could it be cultural? My SIL put her boys in tights when babies/toddlers, it's normal in eastern and northern Europe, I believe?

That fact that it's supposedly "girls clothing" in the UK would not bother me, if the kid is overheating as they are overdressed is more the point.

Thanks, the OP clearly says, and I quote "Mum doesn't feel it is very dignified for him to be at nursery wearing what is culturally a girls' clothes item." I was just assuring OP that it is ok for boys to wear tights as well.

There isn't, but the matter will have been resolved by now. It was never about tights being for girls only. It was about the boy being hot and uncomfortable.

Thanks, I didn't realise there is a time restriction.

This thread is more than a year old. They probably wont see your reply.

Ultimately, it's up to parents what their children wear, however, the mum in this case should realise that tights are no longer female clothing, they are unisex and it's now acceptable for males to wear them. Perhaps the FC should show the range of tights available for boys now and hopefully that should make her aware that it's socially ok.

You've said multiple times in your posts that he's 4, including in the original message.
As you're not there every moment of the day, and haven't had the conversation with the FC, you can't say whether he's choosing them himself or why the FC is dressing him in them.

If his favourite outfit was a fairy costume, and the SW said 'don't let him wear that, it's undignified because it's for girls' would you be having the same reaction? The FC should be respectful of mum's wishes to an extent, but about something like what clothes he's wearing should definitely ignore a SWs (slightly odd) opinion if it's in the best interests of the child. Has SW even mentioned that mum has requested, or that the issue is related to him being too hot?
I know FC with older kids who've had similar things said to them about boys not wearing nail varnish and things like 'you should be sending him out to play football with the other boys in your street, not letting him stay inside playing dress up', and that's definitely not in the best interests of the kids, so those comments have rightfully been ignored.

Some children with sensory needs actually prefer tight clothing, so it may be that the FC is experimenting with this, or is seeing issues which you aren't, like nappy leakage. Honestly you don't know until you manage to actually speak to her. Could you possibly ask to be have a meeting with SW and FC, and possibly mum too? And then you can all actually discuss this. If this is the only 'issue', then it sounds like the FC is doing a pretty good job, so she's definitely due some positive feedback too if the boy is settled and seems generally happy otherwise.
You could perhaps set up some time where you and FC and the boy get to see each other in an environment that isn't nursery pick up on an ongoing basis so you can raise small things like this without having to just send word through the SW, and then you'd get some time with your relative too.

This may come out a bit more bluntly that I intend it to, but have you (or mum) tried genuinely and politely asking the FC directly why he's wearing tights and having a conversation about it? It'll probably get better results than this back and forth with the SW, and it might even be that mum or you could give the FC some advice.
-It might be that it's to stop his nappy leaks (as you've mentioned he's 4 and still in nappies)
-It might be to actually prevent him being teased (you've mentioned several people think he might be teased for wearing tights, but to be honest I'd think it'd be more of an issue for him to be teased for still wearing nappies at 4, if he gets changed and is wearing tights, they're what's visible, but if its socks, the nappy would be too)
-It might be because he actually picks them out himself (and you may be able to work out if there's a reason for this that could translate to other clothing)
-It might be because he's shown more interest in them than socks, and FC finds it easier to get him to wear them or keep them on (which may be different to mum's experience)
-It might be because he is genuinely cold in the FCs house, or they spend a lot of time outside
-It might be that he's got sensory issues with the jogging bottoms that have come to light due to the recent changes in his living situation, so the tight alleviate them

I think the way the SW has gone about this is very wrong, and her concern about it being a girls item of clothing is something it's fair for the FC to ignore, if it'd been about a pink tshirt for example, but it was his favourite, you'd probably be hoping the FC did ignore the SW.
A better way to raise it may be to speak to nursery directly and let them know what you've seen in terms of him seeming too warm, ask if they've seen it too, and ask that they let FC know that 'he usually seems too warm, and they often have to remove his tights are nursery as he's going red and blotchy, physically warm to touch etc. So could he please be sent with socks, or generally cooler clothing in future, if he needs to wear tights on the way due to staying warm on the walk there's room for him to get changed there' Then you can mention to SW that you've noticed that the clothes he's wearing means he often seems too warm, so you've mentioned to nursery and asked them of request FC dresses him in something cooler as they'd noticed it too.
If it turns out he's super keen on the tights, then could you suggest he wears something different over them, so the tights are his main layer, shorts, skirt, lightweight trousers etc? I also think this would go someway to reinforcing the point that it's not the tights you're concerned with, but that he's wearing too many layers which is making him too hot.

Oh dear, how to make yourself look as thick as shit. Well done. Wade in days later with your pathetic comments that make you look like an idiot.

I always wonder if posters who don't read the updates and explanations and who bounce in with a 'state the obvious' (except it isn't) post at the end of a long thread feel like right tits when they realise ...

I think they didn’t read the OP just the title. Stupid really

Are you unable to read what the op has written? Or are you too lazy?

Presumably if he’s 4 and doesn’t like the tights / feels too hot in them he’d just take them off?

This! If a 4 year old doesn't want to wear something, believe me they won't!
I'd have thought they'd be good for keeping warm in winter/chillier weather.
So if he's happy in them, what's the problem?
Unless she thinks he's going to catch the gay?! 🙄 😕😁

I can’t believe 56% voted YABU 🤯

Bless you OP,
there’s no sense in my mind that the pp’s who think you’re unreasonable, can justify what & why they do so.

im so sorry that you had that heart wrenching moment with your DD… even though in your heart, you know there was no malice, and that she loves you with her heart, when you’re low, it will affect you so negatively, coz you are vulnerable too, especially with the extra emotional load you have on your back.

its ok to feel hopeless at times… I pray it will all come good, and you will be so strong, stronger than you’ll give yourself credit for, likely.

Try somehow to give yourself a treat… weather that’s a relaxing warm bath, or a favourite funny film….. give your brain and heart some respite .

G’nite dear…

They’re out for blood tonight. You are right. He shouldn’t be in tights and I don’t understand these people fighting with you. It’s ridiculous