Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is he too full-on or is this just normal interest?

58 replies

Pizzzzza · 23/02/2024 18:01

Yesterday met a guy for coffee for a couple of hours, a friend of a friend who I've already spoken to a bit.
He seemed nice enough, wouldn't say there was a massive spark but we had a great conversation.
After leaving we texted a bit and then he told me he's going to see a film tomorrow evening (I'm working) and joked i would've been welcome to join if I hadn't been working/it was a bit out of my way. I just sent a polite reply.
Anyway he's just texted me 30 minutes ago saying he'd really like to see me again next week if I'm free , we could go see a film or just hang out.
Not sure if he's being too full on or am I just not into him?

OP posts:
thistimelastweek · 23/02/2024 18:21

He likes you. Expressed level of interest seems appropriate.
He didn't light your fire but might be a slow burn.
I'd give one date a try and see how it goes.

Original poster
Pizzzzza · 23/02/2024 18:21

I'd like to see him again as a friend, maybe.

OP posts:
WhatAMessAgain123 · 23/02/2024 18:20

To be fair to the OP, it’s never fun telling someone you don’t want to see them again. Even casually saying you don’t feel a spark is still going to be a kick in the teeth for him.

WinterSprings · 23/02/2024 18:18

The guy asked for a second date. That’s not too full on. How were you expecting to ever get past a first date if no one asked the other…?
Doesn’t sound like you’re into him, so just tell him that. End of.

AllTheWatersTurnedToClouds · 23/02/2024 18:18

A week in Paris would be intense - a trip to a movie, not so much

gemloving · 23/02/2024 18:18

Makes me realise how shit dating is these days. To tell someone you'd like to see them again the week after to see a film is full on. Gosh!

If you don't like him, just tell him.

Rosestulips · 23/02/2024 18:17

You’re obviously not interested in taking it further. If you were you’d be excited at the prospect of seeing him again however intense the venue is.

ItsMostProbablyMe · 23/02/2024 18:16

I'm the most anti commitment woman in the world fucking trust me. But this isn't full on. He just likes you. At this point anyway! Take it as a compliment for now

EmilyTjP · 23/02/2024 18:16

This is a prime example of why we shouldn’t blindly trust posters intuitions, as per the other thread!

RaininSummer · 23/02/2024 18:14

Blimey. How on earth do people date if this is how it goes these days?

NotQuiteNorma · 23/02/2024 18:14

Would feeding the ducks have been a little less tense?

Original poster
Pizzzzza · 23/02/2024 18:14

Frazzled2108 · 23/02/2024 18:13

No, that's perfectly normal, not full on at all. Just tell him if you're not feeling it.

Im just convinced that if I'd asked him that it'd have been considered full-on, I don't know why. Yeh I've been too harsh.

OP posts:
NotStayingIn · 23/02/2024 18:13

Just tell him thanks for a lovely time but you aren’t feeling a spark so will not be taking it further. I don’t get why you’re making this all so complicated?

Frazzled2108 · 23/02/2024 18:13

No, that's perfectly normal, not full on at all. Just tell him if you're not feeling it.

EmilyTjP · 23/02/2024 18:11

Pizzzzza · 23/02/2024 18:08

I don't know, the cinema just seems intense. He just threw it out there as a suggestion though, but it just feels a lot.

Show quote history

The cinema is probably the least intense place as you don’t have to talk!

PrueRamsay · 23/02/2024 18:11

Pizzzzza · 23/02/2024 18:08

I don't know, the cinema just seems intense. He just threw it out there as a suggestion though, but it just feels a lot.

Show quote history

Eh? Intense?

How old are you OP? Have you done much dating? This all sounds completely normal to me.

egowise · 23/02/2024 18:11

Pizzzzza · 23/02/2024 18:08

I don't know, the cinema just seems intense. He just threw it out there as a suggestion though, but it just feels a lot.

Show quote history

Is this a wind up?

The cinema seems intense? Seriously?

LizFromMotherland · 23/02/2024 18:09

Pizzzzza · 23/02/2024 18:07

I thought about just telling him I'm working a lot next week so I'll have to let him know, seems kinder than just saying no?

Show quote history

What's wrong with saying no?

Do you think you'll break his heart, or he'll just think 'Ahh ok, that's a shame'?

Original poster
Pizzzzza · 23/02/2024 18:08

EmilyTjP · 23/02/2024 18:07

i don’t understand how it’s full on? He’s asked you out on a second date next week. How do you think dating progresses? If you’re not into him just say no thanks

I don't know, the cinema just seems intense. He just threw it out there as a suggestion though, but it just feels a lot.

OP posts:
LizFromMotherland · 23/02/2024 18:07

Pizzzzza · 23/02/2024 18:03

I don't want to hurt his feelings.. does he sound OTT or just normal interest? I can't tell. He hasn't said anything else.

Show quote history

Why does it matter if he's too full on or normal if you don't want to see him again anyway?

You either do or you don't.

EmilyTjP · 23/02/2024 18:07

i don’t understand how it’s full on? He’s asked you out on a second date next week. How do you think dating progresses? If you’re not into him just say no thanks

Frozenasarock · 23/02/2024 18:07

He sounds perfectly normal to me - he’s asked for a low key meeting a week later, he’s not booked an all inclusive weekend in Paris for tomorrow! If you’d rather not then just tell him that, stalling and hinting is much more likely to hurt his feelings than a straightforward “Thanks for coffee, enjoyed our conversation but I don’t see this going anywhere, sorry.”

JamSandle · 23/02/2024 18:07

Pizzzzza · 23/02/2024 18:06

Yeah, like he didn't ask me to meet tomorrow or something, he just said Monday onwards as he was busy over the weekend. Maybe I'm judging too harshly.

Show quote history

Do you want to see him again?

Original poster
Pizzzzza · 23/02/2024 18:07

tigger1001 · 23/02/2024 18:06

Not full on at all. But you aren't interested, so just let him know

I thought about just telling him I'm working a lot next week so I'll have to let him know, seems kinder than just saying no?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pizzzzza · 23/02/2024 18:06

JamSandle · 23/02/2024 18:05

If you aren't interested it doesn't really matter if his level of interest is normal or not. It doesn't raise red flags to me but it may not sit quite right with you. You might want to get to know him over time with a meeting once a week for example.

Yeah, like he didn't ask me to meet tomorrow or something, he just said Monday onwards as he was busy over the weekend. Maybe I'm judging too harshly.

OP posts: