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Original poster

Which is preferable - weekday wedding or child free wedding?

208 replies

overgrowngrass · 23/02/2024 11:59

We are currently planning our wedding and shocked at how much everything costs. At the moment it looks like we might opt for either a weekday wedding to save costs, or have the wedding on a Saturday but without inviting children. The wedding will be in school holidays, if a weekday, as we have close family who are teachers.

As a parent, which is preferable?

YANBU - child free weekend wedding is preferable
YABU - I like to bring my kids, have it on a weekday

OP posts:
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Mychicdress · 15/11/2024 06:28

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Coconutter24 · 04/08/2024 13:59

StamppotAndGravy · 23/02/2024 12:15

Rethink your plans. You can't afford the wedding you want so you're pushing the costs onto your guests via babysitters or annual leave. Have a cheaper wedding and stop being so selfish.

Why should they rethink their plans, they’ve got 2 options which presumably they can afford otherwise they wouldn’t be options. Just because a guest receives an invite doesn’t mean they are forced to accept, if someone doesn’t want to use babysitters or annual leave then they decline the invite. You could also say stop being selfish and put a holiday day in at work (which sounds ridiculous)… I won’t say that though because no one in this situation is selfish they all just have a choice

Mammyloveswine · 04/08/2024 13:46

Child-free weddings are GREAT however when you are told child free then rock up to find about 15 kids there it's a bit annoying! (Although I prefer to let loose at a wedding so have never been that offended tbh).

Blanketpolicy · 04/08/2024 13:39

It doesn't need to be either/or.

Have a wedding within budget at the weekend with family children invited. It is the people you invite, the shared experience and memories that make your wedding special not the short lived expensive frills of the wedding industry.

christineHemmer · 02/08/2024 08:30

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MsBubbles85 · 09/07/2024 16:32

We have a wedding this summer that has only invited family children, could that be an option for you?

ForUmberFinch · 19/05/2024 12:13

It’s your wedding, your day, only the opinion of the couple matters. I’m a teacher. Hubby isn’t. We had a weekday (school holiday) wedding with only children who were members of our family invited. No non-family kids. We only invited family and proper, true friends so it was a lovely, intimate, friendly day. Don’t try to please anyone but yourselves!

SecondUsername4me · 26/02/2024 08:14

Weekday weddings, much like destination weddings, always push the hassle (and costs) off the hosts and onto the guests. Very rude.

FinallyFeb · 25/02/2024 22:01

Weekday weddings are rubbish. Bride and groom always think they were good and guests don’t.

Bertielong3 · 25/02/2024 21:42

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CornflakesOnTheSolesOfHerShoes · 25/02/2024 21:17

Totally understand the point about children being part of the joining of families - we had no nieces or nephews when we got married so the children we were excluding weren’t connected in that sense. I’d find it very odd and hurtful if my children weren’t invited to my siblings’ weddings, but wouldn’t expect them to be invited to anyone else’s.

mondaytosunday · 25/02/2024 16:58

Weekend without kids.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 25/02/2024 16:56

I don't mind a child free wedding, but I'd be miffed at a weekday one, unless it was a Friday I'd be looking to take a minimum of two days annual leave (three if I had to travel to the location the day before the wedding). I really wouldn't want to be getting up for work the morning after a wedding.

thebestinterest · 25/02/2024 16:56

overgrowngrass · 23/02/2024 12:20

This is a good point. Two of my closest friends prefer without kids, one prefers with, one is neutral!

And yes I do agree that weekday weddings are inconvenient! But those who matter most would understand and hopefully won’t mind too much.

I had a weekday wedding but ours was a destination, so everyone was away for the entire week.

Maddy70 · 25/02/2024 16:55

Child free for me. Attendees get to have fun without their kids

readingmakesmehappy · 25/02/2024 16:53

Would seriously resent having to take holiday for a midweek wedding so would almost certainly not go to one tbh.

peakygold · 25/02/2024 16:50

A weekday wedding is just so sad. I always feel sorry for the couple. We ran off to Las Vegas, had a very tacky but fun wedding, and had a massive party in a church hall when we returned.

DreadPirateRobots · 25/02/2024 16:42

in this case if it was a weekday it would be school holidays and kids would be with you

...or, more likely, I'd be working and they'd be in a holiday club, because I get considerably less annual leave than they get school holidays..?

lioneggs · 25/02/2024 16:20

We've got 2 weekday child free weddings coming up. very annoying! I'm all for a child free wedding but being in the week makes it more difficult

UnimaginableWindBird · 25/02/2024 15:59

I'm generally in favour of midweek weddings. I worked on Saturdays during the years my friends were getting married, which means that every single wedding I've ever been to I've had to take as annual leave.

Harry12345 · 25/02/2024 15:51

WaitingfortheTardis · 25/02/2024 15:43

That's up to the op isn't it, I have simply stated what my preference and thoughts are. By excluding children you potentially unintentionally exclude friends/family you want there as they may not want/be able to attend. The op asked for thoughts, I have given mine, you are welcome to disagree (as you clearly do), but it doesn't change what I think.

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fair enough I just don’t understand how a friends 4 year old or a cousins 6 year old has anything to do the the joining of families

WaitingfortheTardis · 25/02/2024 15:43

Harry12345 · 25/02/2024 15:37

So friends and cousins children should be there running about all day whilst having to exclude people she knows better?

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That's up to the op isn't it, I have simply stated what my preference and thoughts are. By excluding children you potentially unintentionally exclude friends/family you want there as they may not want/be able to attend. The op asked for thoughts, I have given mine, you are welcome to disagree (as you clearly do), but it doesn't change what I think.

Hmcs · 25/02/2024 15:39

A weekend wedding was a must for me
I had family coming from all over
and although they still all took the Friday as leave to travel if it was a weekday they would need to take more

also a lot of my family are self employed so that would mean not getting paid

people don’t tend to enjoy a weekday weeding as much if they know yietbhave work the next day
and you might find your reception half empty

as for kids we had family children only

we have been to a lot of weddings that don’t invite children and we have no issues with that

LittleBearPad · 25/02/2024 15:39

Harry12345 · 25/02/2024 15:37

So friends and cousins children should be there running about all day whilst having to exclude people she knows better?

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Indeed.

These days friends can be far more important to many people than their extended families.

Harry12345 · 25/02/2024 15:37

WaitingfortheTardis · 25/02/2024 11:03

You may well think it's odd, I would think it odd to exclude children from a joining of families, which is what I consider a wedding to be. The op asked and I gave my thoughts.

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So friends and cousins children should be there running about all day whilst having to exclude people she knows better?