What happened to people?

Several things going on I think. Just the platform to communicate with anyone about anything can be used by some to vent their spleen that's for some reason built up inside them. No danger of repercussion as in RL. The mindset we generally see arounds us in the media is negativity and nastiness, as is copious dramas about murders and the cross over to reality TV about serial killers or whatever it is.
Unfortunately some people thrive off negative 'drama'. We all wake up with the same choice every morning; either try to be pleasant to be people or don't be. Some people choose the latter and come on MN to nit pick the most benign posts. It's a sad way of life.
Other parts of Mumsnet are great, thank goodness.

Not noticed a real change on here but IRL there is so much entitlement and selfishness. Too many people have also lost the ability to say please or thank you when seeking advice or assistance.

I’ve really gone off people in the past few years and I wasn’t much of a fan beforehand.

It largely comes down to the leniency of moderation. This is probably the least-moderated forum I’ve seen, especially of this size/level of traffic. While it’s good that the daytime staff get paid, it seems to have attracted people that want to deal with as little fuss and conflict as possible, which is simply not possible on a discussion forum. So things that are easy to moderate, such as spam or troll-hunting, are deleted within minutes. Blatant name-calling and insults are also gone pretty quickly. But anything more nuanced, such as fictional posts designed to cause outrage, are avoided. Moderation tools such as thread banning (when a user is banned from posting on a specific thread because they keep causing problems) are left unused. Banning is underutilized for repeatedly problematic posters. It’s possible that the ability to change usernames makes it harder for them to see the full history of the account and easily make decisions. Time is wasted sending waffling replies to reports rather than just taking action and closing it in the queue. Perhaps more training is needed; it’s hard to say.

There are quite a few trolls that take delight in specifically derailing a thread from the start. They’ll lurk around waiting for a new thread to be posted and then try to be the first response, usually attacking the OP or fixating on some mundane detail/wording from the post and trying to get other posters to fixate on it too. These accounts should just be banned but rarely are. There seems to be a lot of waffling about “maybe they’re genuine.” Of course they’re not. They’re just bored and causing havoc for the fun of it. Same thing with the occasional brigading from MRA types.

Those are the main issues I’ve noticed at least.

@Newpancake92 or the very basic level people just like to argue think they are correct etc sometimes its nice for academics to dress up behaviour in various academic reasons that then can be analysed and study and that sound respectable reasons but some times the public just either want an argument, want a debate or they just think they are correct etc

I dont fit in anymore suits me well.
But i have noticed that some bullies on here are in fact teachers.

I did chuckle when I opened the thread about general life tips and saw two women actively having a barney.

No topic is safe!

Mumsnet has also been targeted by certain outsiders who decide it's "fun" to kick people when they are down. It's also well known for being one of the few places on the Internet that is women centric and some people/men do not like that, especially when it helps support women to leave an abusive relationship.

That's just a couple of reasons, other pp also have good explanations.

It feels "bigger" now. Years ago when I first joined it felt like more of a community, there were nowhere near as many troll posts and people seemed to keep the same username, or at least variations thereof. I was never a MOldie before anyone accuses me of that, I've always name changed and wanted to stay anonymous. But I kind of liked coming on to a thread and "recognising" a few names, knowing what kind of thing they'd post.

I think with the increase in anonymity comes a sense of "freedom" for people to take out their frustrations at the world. That poster they're telling to fuck off and get over themselves is a representation of their boss, or their dad, they're saying the things they wish they could say in real life.

Life is shitty for a lot of people now, there's lots of bad times to post about.

I have been on here for 13 years and it has definitely got more unpleasant in the past few years. Some posters are just downright nasty right from the off with no regard to how the OP (often in a vulnerable position) is feeling and if anyone tries to defend the OP they get both barrels as well. Some posters just make picky comments about something the OP said in passing for context which is irrelevant to the OP's point. Arguing between posters and name calling has definitely bcome more brutal. There is definitely little "let's just agree to disagree". I don't understand why some people want to come on a site aiming to make some anonymous stranger feel worse. I've noticed how language has become more skewed and unrealistic to promote their argument - I usually feel if you have to do that then your argument must be pretty weak. I now would never put up a post about anything that I feel sensitive about, where I possibly would have done in the past.

That said, on the whole there are enough sensible and caring people on MN to balance it out - as well as some downright funny ones. Every now and again I feel like coming off of here purely bacause of the horrible behaviour of some posters, but on balance the overall behaviours makes me stay on.

I've been on MN on and off 20+ years and TBH there has always been some nastiness.

What I've noticed recently, is attacks for over- thinking or subjects deemed not worthy of a threat. I liked it when it was a place for a chat, but now you get attacked for giving "headspace" to any issues considered not important enough.

Massive virtual like button press for @RecentError 's reply.

Unless MNHQ have pruned earlier topics, it does seem like responses are more aggressive and accusatory now than in the past.

I’ve not noticed it on here but IRL Jesus Christ.

Since Covid, people are so fucking selfish. The expectation that everything revolves around them, but that they can’t be held accountable for anything and can flake off at the drop of a hat. People’s commitment, honesty and values have taken a massive dive the past few years.

Totally agree OP. Some people are really cruel on here and very quick to attack for the slightest thing.

Lots of people suggest things they'd never do themselves too to make themselves sound 'big' e.g. I'd bump his car out of the way, put dog shit through their letter box etc.

It's worrying that so many seem to be like that and I just hope it's because it's easy to say stuff online that you wouldn't do face to face.

I've got Deja Vu

I don't think 'people' posting on mn have changed in the slightest. I signed up here over a decade ago and to my mind, it's the same as it has always been.

I think people actively look to be offended more these days, that's a shift. Pefectly mundane conversations just get shut down or derailed by people arguing about semantics. There's always been an element of nastiness, perhaps not as widespread or inevitable as it is now. I lurked for years before I dared post anything, let alone start a thread!

It is a challenge on here if you have a different or more controversial point of view. Often people find it hard to see that not everyone thinks like they do ( in ' real life' I find I clash with my own son over certain things and he can't always see it from my perspective)
Factor in some keyboard warriors, possible trolls or other outside influences and it can be hard to navigate at times. Plus being anonymous means others can be much more confrontational than they might be face to face up the pub!
On some threads you can receive a lot of help and some great advice , but on others it's more of a minefield !
Still love the forum though , but the threads I go on regularly tend to be less aggressive!

Mumsnet is where people gather to exercise their intellectual and status driven vanity to the detriment of strangers.

I agree. I’ve been on MN for 18 years, since my ds was a baby and I honestly don’t remember it being full of such nastiness, I’m sure these people wouldn’t say boo to a goose in RL.

I’m also fed up with so many obviously made up threads, it’s getting very boring now.

It's AIBU - which you've also chosen as the place to start this thread. It's not known for attracting nuanced thinking but polarised black and white views.

Personally some of the posts are verging on the ridiculous and it’s a travesty that they even make it on Mumsnet. What I mean by this is there is no independent thinking by people, no resilience both, no sense or personal reality checks or seeing the bigger picture- all skills that are really needed day to day.

When I first came on MN it was known as the nest of vipers. There are parts that are horrendous and parts that are lovely.

Absolutely! I returned here after about 4 years and was absolutely torn apart over something quite menial and have noticed it a lot. Quite terrifying, like being thrown to the pack!

Also some people who I’d say are borderline horrible about their kids and how they’re treating them, get support and suggestions of even harsher treatment 😳

Am interested to know why the change in dynamics too…

It went downhill at least 10 years ago! But generally specific topics like teenagers or relationships are better.

I agree, Mumsnet can be awful and people will take any chance to be nasty. It’s much worse than any other forum I’ve been on.