Announce husbands cheating in WhatsApp group (other woman is in it and l will name her)

First, I'm so sorry this happened to you, you didn't deserve it and your husband and his "friend" are sh*tty human beings.

This isn't a decision any of us can make for you. For the record I don't think you are unreasonable if you want to let your friend group know the kind of people your husband and his female "friend" are. You might get some satisfaction out of this (making the other woman look trashy), though it will probably be short lived.

But people are right when they say it will upset the balance of that friend group. If you dont mind that and you really want the truth out there, then go for it. You can always get new friends.

However if you really value these friends and peace in your life, you might not want to dredge up things that happened a long time ago. Chances are some people will think you're petty for doing so (I don't, but some of your friends might think so) and they may side with the other woman which might create rifts... ugh drama.

When a similar thing happened to me I immediately stopped talking to the other woman (who was a friend, not a close one) and all the friends that knew about the cheating episode. I cut them out of my life cleanly from one day to the next. They all wondered why but they didn't have the balls to tell me about the cheating, so f*ck those a-holes, they weren't real friends and didnt deserve any explanation from me. I moved countries shortly after and haven't been in contact with them for 15 years. Other people might value peace more and want to keep their friends (even if they feel betrayed by them).

You do whatever is right for you xx

Dignity, at all times. Especially when you discover you made a really stupid mistake. I'm assuming you got married because you were pregnant? How long did you know him before you got pregnant? Did you invite her to the wedding because you were in competition with her and wanted to triumph or tell her to back off? Because you already knew he was sexually involved with her. Sounds like the most sorry, sordid marriage I've ever heard of.

My first thought is do it. However you have a young family so I would suggest u get your home and finances sorted first, then see how you feel.

Just bloody do it. Similar situation for me and I can’t tell you how much I wish I had! I really should have exposed the pair of them for the lying, rancid pair of cunts they were. I chose dignified silence but I so wish I hadn’t. The narrative they have both created is…..creative 🤦‍♀️ I really and truly hope I’m never in this situation again, but if I am? NUCLEAR will be my choice. Fuck it, it’s on them, not you. Expose them.

Hell yes you should announce this in the WhatsApp group chat! Make them look like the assholes they truly are! They ruined your marriage before it even started, why do you have to be the one “acting proper” after what they did! And for him to have done that and then marry you after? He deserves a lot worse than you announcing in the WhatsApp chat but that’s a start for sure. Tear him apart girl! I’m so sorry for the situation you’re in but you will get through it one day at a time and you will be so much happier without the dead weight of him.

What is with the "you weren't even married" posts? So everyone who isn't married in a long term relationship should expect less from their partners than those who are married? Then if they do get married any indiscretion in the years before should be forgotten about? Such an odd mindset.

If they didn't already know it will be a huge source for gossip. How about saying you know he cheated but don't know who, make her squirm? Delete DH from group, hey do any of you friends know? Sorry, probably wouldn't do it but a little part of me would be tempted to.

Jesus Christ @Ariana12 at least read the OP's posts if you cba reading everyone elses

Some of the comments on here have blown my mind.

You do you hun, drop that bomb then walk away with your head held high and heal.

Assuming that he is the father of your child, it sounds like you may have to see him sometimes for at least the next 17 years. Although you are understandably angry now, it may not help in the long run. Do you really need to cut of everyone else in the What's app group and start again? Perhaps mention that you are separating but not why. If anyone asks, you could always PM them if you felt they needed to know. They will eventually all find out why this way but at least it doesn't leave you looking like the bad one.

Exactly . I hope I’d reply - ‘thanks for letting me know. Let me know if you need any support.’

Hard if OW is someone you thought was a decent person and you like.

Not hard if you had your suspicions.

Fair point!

If there is ANY chance of reconciling (you have a small child together so not seeing him again isn't an option) Ask yourself if he crawled back and promised you the earth would you give him a chance (personally think you're better without him. And if this is recent allow yourself time to cool down before deciding.
How long after the wedding did you find out? Did he confess or was he caught out?
If you do put it on the group I would be tempted to say you're divorcing dur to him being unfaithful with someone who knew he was about to be married to his pregnatnt partner but don't mention her, not to protect her but you will be able to tell from the responses who already knows, those who don't know will have no idea it's someone in the group and will respond with how terrible it is that he has done that with a homewrecker, they wont choose their words as they wont realise theyre in the middle at that point, that way she will get the backlash of her actions from others and will see the support you have and feel incredibly uncomfortable and you won't look like the woman scorned!

A friend of mine announced her divorce on Facebook by tagging her then husband and the OW 😬

The amount of support she got was tremendous. I would go for it

Have you done it yet OP?

I'm betting the 'you weren't even married' lot have their own history of infidelity pre-wedding. Absolute nonsense. Send the message then throw the phone at his head I say 😂😆

Yes this because she is not your friend.

What’s your support like outside the WA group? Who will be there for you and your child through the divorce? Helping you to care of yourself and little one.

Absolutely, yes do it.

Are they still in a relationship? Then most def break up with him and make a big announcement about it. If they split up, look at how your relationship is now and decide then what to do.

Out them OP!! I would absolutely do this and be very happy with myself for doing it, regardless of what other people in the group decided to do.

If any of them are real friends they will stand by you OP

I would also apologise to those who were not aware but tough shit to the ones that did know and kept it away from you - what else are they keeping from you?!

Rooting for you OP, stay strong 💕

I completely understand your feelings OP, finding out that someone you love and trust has betrayed you and doesn’t even feel sorry for their behaviour is humiliating and incredibly damaging for your self esteem. The feelings of incandescent rage are overwhelming, I wanted to murder my ex husband when I found out he’d been seeing someone behind my back especially when he wouldn’t admit it and told everyone I’d left him and taken our son! However, I knew I loved my son more than I hated his dad and so I sucked it up and was civil and went and had counselling to deal with the rage and eventually it got better and my son is healthier for it. Even though it was incredibly difficult to sit next to my ex at school concerts etc I did it so my son would never have to be stuck in the middle. He was 4 when we split and he’s 11 now and he knows why we split up as my ex and his now partner are still together. I can genuinely say now that I got the much better deal, I’m not bending myself in knots to try and keep someone happy who always looked for where the grass was greener and I’m not dealing with his issues of which there are many and I have a close relationship with my son. If you can bear it and I know it’s hard - be the bigger person for your child. Be civil - by all means say everything you hate about him to others outside of your child’s presence but remember how much more you love your child than you hate your ex and don’t put them in the middle. As they get older they work out for themselves who the problem parent is. Sending you lots of support and strength. He never deserved you xx

I say DO IT! What have you got to lose? Presumably, your marriage is now over. Why not announce the truth to people. You didn't do anything wrong. Finding out you have been cheated on is embarrassing & humiliating, which is why your ex will be banking on you saying nothing. By saying nothing, he gets to control the narrative & spin his bullshit.

Do it, the least they deserve!! she probably won't mind, sounds like she is a heartless pyscho any way!

Bad idea! The Jeremy Kyle show comes to mind….

I honestly don't know why people are saying don't do it, stay dignified. There is nothing dignified about staying quiet about it, as far as I m concerned. It is far more dignified to say something about it to your friends group. If any of them don't already know, they should get a heads up to the kind of people your husband and his "friend" are. Take the high ground by telling them straight!!