Announce husbands cheating in WhatsApp group (other woman is in it and l will name her)

*The OP has been deeply hurt by her husband's behaviour and wants to seek
some sort of 'revenge.' As stated above, the consequences could be
extremely negative.

Marriage is based on love, trust and compromise.

It is entirely up to the OP and her husband what happens next. A more
productive response would be to turn this unfortunate event around and
if the couple want to do this, possibly with the help of a relationship
counsellor, then there is every chance that they can draw a line under
it and move on with greater strength than they had before. *

Their marriage was based upon a lie, literally at the event.

I didn't say don't say anything, I said keep it short because they aren't worth it....short and sweet.

Hold your head up high because she doesn't have to stoop to their level... She is better than that.

It's sad and shocking that 80% of people who voted on this topic indicate that they want the OP to 'name and shame' her husband.

It's possible that is all that she wanted to do, in some kind of retaliation for his infidelity. She has not said anything more about their relationship. She has not said that he has been abusive or has addictions.

The husband's behaviour should not be condoned but it appears that many of this 80% are encouraging the OP to both expose her husband online and also to divorce him.

The consequences of a divorce could be negative all round - everyone loses, emotionally and financially, particularly the children. This is a step not be undertaken lightly.

No one knows what is on her mind apart from a stated wish to retaliate in this way.

The OP has been deeply hurt by her husband's behaviour and wants to seek some sort of 'revenge.' As stated above, the consequences could be extremely negative.

Marriage is based on love, trust and compromise.

It is entirely up to the OP and her husband what happens next. A more productive response would be to turn this unfortunate event around and if the couple want to do this, possibly with the help of a relationship counsellor, then there is every chance that they can draw a line under it and move on with greater strength than they had before.

Let's hope.that they they make the best decision for them and for their children.

You sound like a shit friend if you'd be giddy with excitement if one of them got cheated on by a friend and your only priority would be sending it on to your other mates. Some of us actually LIKE their friends

@MeTooOverHere

-scorched earth is what l want. Maybe want to see 1 or 2 out of the WhatsApp ever again

OP doesn't seem to be that fussed about preventing offense or hurt, nor should she be.

Depends on her intention.

She doesn't need to have "the slightest impact on either of them" so she doesn't need anything "pithy or cutting".

She has decided to leave the group because she doesn't want to be in contact with either of them and she is simply advising the group of her reasons for leaving. Short, sweet, factual and immediately leave the group.

If she leaves without advising/saying Goodbye, other people may be offended or hurt.

How are you doing OP?

@Evilspiritgin

Are you one of the "friends" in the WhatsApp group?

TruthorDie · 22/02/2024 16:56

-it was more than a snog.

keep to the facts, he didn’t shag her they had a drunken snog, in front of their friends

I think that any of the posters who are goading the OP on to "name and shame" that think that a message in a WhatsApp group will have the slightest impact on either of them, are really mistaken.

The hide you must have to have to turn up at the wedding of your shagpeice/be shagging someone else behind your wifes' back in full view of everyone would be so thick, the story they would have made up for themselves in order to behave like they did must be so wild, that a group WhatsApp flounce from the ex wife won't mean a thing to either of them.

As someone else said, the only thing it will do is give the other people in the group, who already know exactly what's been going on, something to get excited over and screenshot and send out to all and sundry. They've been waiting for you to find out for years and the next stage of the drama will have landed. Well I wouldn't give any of them the satisfaction. I'm not someone's Sunday night entertainment.

You might think you can come up with something pithy and cutting, but this is a really sordid situation with children involved and none of the suggestions sound anyting other than a bit sad.

There's an old saying, don't wrestle with a pig, you both get dirty and the pig likes it. I used to wonder where the Jeremy Kyle show got such a steady stream of people who loved to create drama in public, but I've found my answer in this thread.

*My ex cheated several times and when I managed to get away from him and
his abusive and coercive behaviour I told him I had slept with one of
his friends but never told him which one, though he hounded me with a
couple of names. Still gives me quiet pleasure that he wouldn't know
which of his friends he could trust. *

Nice touch. 😎

I might have missed it but I don't think you have mentioned when this happened in relationship to your wedding. On WA it would be good to shame them both about how long it went on unless this was one of those drunken grope situations.

This X 2

I would do it and keep it simple

As some of you may know my husband cheated on me with X so I am filing for divorce.

I’ve been following since first post, some ppl need to seriously think about what they actually write and comment😱to think that a woman is all innocent in certain cheating situations, take it from a woman that was constantly lied to by a man I thought actually loved me and yes we had a child together wasn’t married but lived as a family under the same roof, I believed him when he said it was only once(I was pregnant and carrying his child the first time he cheated)and because I loved him I took his word for it. The woman he cheated with when I eventually found out after lost count of his numerous affairs knew I was pregnant and also knew me to talk to, so my opinion is any woman that can put herself in a position to break up a family unit knowing full well he a taken man , why should she be let off just like the man who has cheated. Not all men but most want to have their cake and eat it,think with their dicks and think that they can mess about get away with their antics, women can be just as bad as men and cheat in relationships also but
the woman in question was a friend in her and husband friendship group so obvs she knew all about their relationship etc and their life background and yet she still decided to do what she did regardless. Ppl need to know the truth and it wouldn’t surprise me if this woman has messed about with more of men in the friendship group(passed from pillar to post!!🤔

Both. They can both be to blame

What is with all this 'hold your head high and don't stoop to their level?' stuff? As pp have asked, why does a woman holding her head high have to equate to her being silent?

Sorry to hear this happened to you. Just keep it short on the Whatsapp message. Hold your head up high and don't stoop to their level. You were only fooled for 1 year... It was 26 years for me....took me over a year or so to enjoy my new horizon.

Did you send it?

Honestly don’t. People won’t react like you think. They will be at home giddy with excitement at the drama. They’ll be screen shotting and sending to others etc and the main point will be you losing the plot not the actual act of cheating. You’ll undermine the situation. Hold your head up high, dump him, find happiness again and let them talk about that x

But it's ok for him to wave his dirty d**k around?

he was supposedly her partner/fiance
but no, OW is always to blame

I wasn't responding to the OP. But MN is obsessed with going after the OW. If we're lucky, we get one line about the man, as in that post, but it's clearly lip service so they can get at the woman who didn't marry you or have kids with you, but is somehow more responsible than the man who did. How worthless marriage and parenthood must be if they don't actually create any additional obligation and whatever obligation they do create isn't entirely down to the person who did it.

But it's MN, I know the misogyny is entrenched on this.

I would.

Yes, just that you are splitting and that he cheated with X. That's it. Don't respond to any follow up.

I am actually shocked at some of the replies. One that sticks out is 'this happened before the marriage, so there wasn't any commitment'
I was like WTAF, seriously?
They was engaged, having fertility treatment. I am presuming they was living together too.

Maybe the OW throw herself at him and somehow, crazy as it seems, their clothes just fell off. 😳 🤣🤣🤣