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Original poster

Announce husbands cheating in WhatsApp group (other woman is in it and l will name her)

855 replies

TruthorDie · 22/02/2024 08:47

I found out my husband cheated on me before we got married, invited the woman he cheated with to our wedding and she came to our wedding. He’s not especially contrite about it all, is unable (l think it’s unwilling but anyway) why he invited her and why she attended. He claims l suggested he invite her so he did! In reality she’s a friend of his and we invited all of our friends.

To put the boot in she got blind drunk at the wedding, was a total mess, l was pregnant when we got married and then the next day hassled us a lot to return the items she had left at our venue. My husband, the woman he cheated with and myself are all in a WhatsApp group together and lm contemplating announcing we are splitting up and why including naming her. Probably not very dignified but lm guessing quite satisfying. I’m pretty sure some people in the group know about the cheating as they were there when it happened but not everyone does

OP posts:
ThrowMeABonio · 22/02/2024 19:27

HemlockSoup · 22/02/2024 14:27

I’d channel Moira Stewart rather than Kat Slater when announcing the facts to the group, keeping it factual rather than emotional, but the idea that the OP would be undignified in taking this course of action is such nonsense.

Could use this as a background image in the chat?

Announce husbands cheating in WhatsApp group (other woman is in it and l will name her)
piscofrisco · 22/02/2024 19:26

I don't know why you wouldn't tbh. You owe neither of them anything, it won't make any odds to any divorce proceedings or anything else. Snd I don't see how it's beneath your dignity in the slightest to expose them.

HemlockSoup · 22/02/2024 19:25

Globules · 22/02/2024 19:13

I was advised to keep the dignified silence so I had the upper hand.

XH then put all over social media how we'd grown apart and faults on both sides.

No dear, you had affairs over 10 years.

I wish I'd stated my truth calmly and simply to all our friends from day 1.

Post on the what's app. And do it with pleasure.

What a wanker. You must have found that enraging.

You're not the only poster who's said they regret taking the 'dignified silence' route.

ShrinkingDaffodil · 22/02/2024 19:25

Give them a taste of the respect they showed you… you owe them nothing

Zone2NorthLondon · 22/02/2024 19:24

I understand the ire and rage but a debacle & online revelation isn’t the solution. Short term satisfaction ,long term doesn’t address any of the betrayals he put you through
look after yourself and gather your support for you and your baby
Get all copies of all paperwork eg mortgage,bank accounts and see a solicitor

sorry you experienced this, take care

StickNMove · 22/02/2024 19:22

No fucking way would I do this. Why generate the drama? You don’t need it in your life.

Bin him off, block her and seek revenge by getting the fuck away from these toxic arseholes and building a happier life without them in it. Definitely a ‘take the high ground’ situation and leave the drama to these two fools.

Nantescalling · 22/02/2024 19:22

When you say he cheated on you before you were married when had that occurred. Do you mean just once or was he seeing her for months?

Illpickthatup · 22/02/2024 19:21

Nantescalling · 22/02/2024 19:19

Even though you were pregnant with his child ?

Show quote history

It's not the 1950s. She's not obligated to marry him because she's pregnant with his child.

Isthatajay · 22/02/2024 19:21

Get the divorce and if there's no prenup take him for all he has and enjoy the rest of your life my doll! Because you deserve it 🥰
karma will get him so you don't have to 😘

Kazls · 22/02/2024 19:19

Nit a good idea to call her out on it. It takes 2 to cheat. Just leave him or make him leave and forget about it, or it will consume you ( if it already hasnt)

Nantescalling · 22/02/2024 19:19

TruthorDie · 22/02/2024 08:55

Sorry didn’t mention l didn’t find out until after we were married. I would not have married him if l had known

Even though you were pregnant with his child ?

skygradient · 22/02/2024 19:16

Not a fan of disgracing myself online with paggro/aggo rants, but a short sweet announcement is fine IMO

Sootythecat14 · 22/02/2024 19:14

I dont see what the big deal is with announcing over WhatsApp..why shouldn't she?! Its why they split, and they should feel ashamed of themselves..ESPECIALLY as she had the audacity to come to the wedding! To those saying "it's not dignified"...bore off

Globules · 22/02/2024 19:13

I was advised to keep the dignified silence so I had the upper hand.

XH then put all over social media how we'd grown apart and faults on both sides.

No dear, you had affairs over 10 years.

I wish I'd stated my truth calmly and simply to all our friends from day 1.

Post on the what's app. And do it with pleasure.

3isthemagicnumber3 · 22/02/2024 19:13

Do it

Thebookloverssanctuary · 22/02/2024 19:12

I have... questions...
The timings in the post are not clear - How long before the wedding was the cheating? When did you discover it? How long have you been married now? Why are you separating? Who else is in the WhatsApp group - on first reading it, I thought it was just you, hubby and the woman...
If the affair was years ago and you married him aware of it, and you're separating for wholly unrelated reasons, then there is nothing to be gained by posting that. If you've only just found out and this is genuinely the cause of the separation then the catharsis might feel great but there may be longer term consequences in terms of your relationships with the others in the group.

MmmMmmWentTheLittleGreenFrog · 22/02/2024 19:01

randomchap · 22/02/2024 18:48

Before you do it, are you absolutely 100% certain that this cannot cause your child harm or embarrassment, now or in future

I would be proud of my mother had she pulled them up on it and not taken any shit from the pair of them.

Only4nomore · 22/02/2024 19:01

Rosindub · 22/02/2024 18:37

What does the OP expect to gain by her WhatsApp strategy?

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I'm asking why did the husband tell the truth randomly...was the OW going to tell the OP.

And the OP gets to gain a bit of satisfaction and control over a situation instead of these people thinking she doesn't know and feeling sorry for her. She doesn't need anyone's sympathy. She sounds like a strong confident woman to me.

Loley22 · 22/02/2024 18:58

I would do it but keep it brief.

RandomForest · 22/02/2024 18:58

randomchap · 22/02/2024 18:48

Before you do it, are you absolutely 100% certain that this cannot cause your child harm or embarrassment, now or in future

Why would it be the fault of op, she hasn't done anything, I can't see this action of talking on whatssapp being any worse than shagging your mutual friend behind your wife's back.

The embarrasment will be on the male and the ow.
Stop gaslighting the op.

randomchap · 22/02/2024 18:48

Before you do it, are you absolutely 100% certain that this cannot cause your child harm or embarrassment, now or in future

RainbowZebraWarrior · 22/02/2024 18:46

thebestinterest · 22/02/2024 18:25

THIS!!!!!!!

dignity: shut your mouth woman. 🙄 typically advised by other women..

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This is a really good point.

RandomForest · 22/02/2024 18:45

thebestinterest · 22/02/2024 18:25

THIS!!!!!!!

dignity: shut your mouth woman. 🙄 typically advised by other women..

Show quote history

Shame is a powerful tool for oppressors to keep control, it happens in many areas of life, look at the recent PO scandal, shame kept them in line.

Some people behave badly, they don't care, they only care about protecting themselves and their reputation.

It's a win for them if op keeps silent.

IAmAnIdiot123 · 22/02/2024 18:44

I think I would send it with the survey mentioned earlier! That's really funny. Humour is how I cope with everything though so being childish would absolutley be my go to in this situation.

MmmMmmWentTheLittleGreenFrog · 22/02/2024 18:44

OP ignore any posters on this thread saying you owe someone this or you owe someone that. You owe nothing to anyone. You havent done a single things wrong in this whole situation. Do whatever makes you feel better and to hell with these two disgusting specimens.

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