Upset that husband eats my leftovers

No one’s said that though?! You are projecting big time.

This.
Hes a greedy bastard and a dick if he does this everytime.. considering you've told him many times.
Personally, when we have sat down to a meal .id ask him to get me drink water, juice out fridge, then id steal his food... or if hes sat on sofa eg eating biscuits... chocolate.. ask him to get you drink...then take his stuff. You dont have to eat it ..just hide it. Dick head moves equate with dick head moves.

I am only disagreeing with the implication that finishing food in itself is pig like behaviour. We are healthy weights in our house and we don't leave food on plates. If clean plates equal weight gain then too much has been served. The man is 100% wrong to finish food without permission. The lack of permission is the issue.

That sounds fucking infuriating and I really don’t think you should have to tell a grown adult not to eat your food, every time you leave it unattended for a moment.

i would calmly speak to him today and make it clear “it upsets me when food I have been expecting to eat is taken from me. It feels….xyz. I don’t want to keep having the same argument so let’s make sure this is clear between us. When I leave food, I expect to come back to it. I do not want it eating. Full stop. It’s never okay to just help yourself. Unless you have asked me first, and I have said yes in that instance, please leave my food alone”. Clear boundary. He has no excuse to do this again. And if he does, the problems run deeper as he’s obviously purposely ignoring you and behaving disrespectfully.

You put your cutlery side by side on the plate at 11 o’clock to demonstrate you have finished eating.
if cutlery are not in this position you are still eating.

1. But it isnt wasted food.
2. he has been repeatedly told by op to stop doing this but he chooses to ignore her
3. Having the ‘clear every plate’ mentality will quickly result in weight gain
4. he is never the one who deals with his child at meal times

I agree.

Him eating your leftovers is absolutely fine.

Him eating your food that you’re still finishing, is absolutely not fine.

Tell him to sort the baby next time because you’re still eating.
Then eat what’s on his plate.

In the grand scheme of things, this is such a minor thing but it’s something I’d seriously consider ending my relationship over.

Because this isn’t about the food, it’s about how little respect he has for you and even though you’ve asked him not to, he ignores you and does it anyway.

This. Stop leaving the table all the time. He can do his share of disrupted dinners. You bave to deal with the child and your husband then eats your food. If he isnt stupid, of course that is deliberate. He is selfish and greedy man.

tonight when there is a need to leave the table to deal with your child, tell dh to deal with him. I bet you suddenly realise that he is selfish, greedy and a lazy parent.

the other option is have your child at the table when you have dinner and model good eating habits.

Once is a misunderstanding, after that it's childish and greedy. He knows that so he's defensive and angry.

It makes sense that the parent who has finished eating deals with the kids.

After so many incidents just do this.

What he’s really saying is he can’t hold space for thinking about anyone but himself. Is he like this in other ways?

I mean someone suggested tipping salt on it! Then no-one can eat it so the OP misses out and it is wasted.

I realise that, not checking first is wrong. It's all the comments referring to him as a pig at a trough, as if finishing leftovers at all is pig like behaviour rather than just avoiding wasting food.

But it’s not with agreement, hence the point of the thread.

So not only does he expect you to get up and deal with the kids part way through your meal (do his legs work?) but then he steals your food? it's not eating your leftovers is it? Then he argues over it instead of apologising.

Misogyny at its best.

Yes, I agree. If it is with agreement then it is perfectly reasonable to share food and finish food. Sometimes one person isn't hungry and another is.

I don't disagree that he should ask first, but the amount of sheer festering rage on Mumsnet always genuinely surprises me. Unhappy marriages I guess

Did the OP say he had weight issues? Is it food he doesn't need? If I eat more at one meal then I am less hungry at the next so it is not wasteful.

It’s more wasteful to eat extra food that you don’t need.
Not surprised people have weight issues with that attitude.

If you’re often stepping away to help your kids, you keep yourself firmly seated and say dad will help! Go on Dh I can’t leave my seat as you’ll eat my dinner if I do.

It's also incredibly wasteful.

The thought of OP walking away from the table with her plate while pointedly staring at him has really made me laugh

He's selfish, is this the only example or is it just the tip of the dickhead iceberg? Does he ever step away from his dinner to deal with something or is that just your job?

The general rule of leftovers that nobody else wants - is to ask everyone first if nobody else wants them! So I'm not buying that excuse

One is a mistake, twice could be put down to forgetting... anymore after that and its 100% on purpose.

I'd be raging if my DP got mad at me for being unhappy about him literally stealing my food