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AIBU?

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Original poster

Upset that husband eats my leftovers

181 replies

Triste1992 · 22/02/2024 00:50

I know its a petty situation, but I cant help but getting upset/annoyed when I dont finish my food/snack, step away from the table (to help our child for example) and come back to an empty plate because DH ate it. His excuse? I thought it was leftovers and nobody wanted it.

It happens frequently and its always the same excuse. I dont yell at him, just complain. But now, he gets upset. Today, he told me I was cheap and it degenerated into a big fight, because we are both fed up. He thinks he does nothing wrong, I feel annoyed that something I expected to eat dissapeared and that the same situation repeats and repeats. AIBU?

OP posts:
PhoenixStarbeamer · 22/02/2024 08:25

It's the disrespect that would boil my piss. You are not his mum you shouldn't have to tell him not to eat what's on your plate. Unless he has special needs and needs clear instructions for everything? But even so you wouldn't think he'd keep bloody doing it.

Alargeoneplease89 · 22/02/2024 08:24

Missing the point slightly but if he's finished, why isn't he stepping away from the table to deal with the child while you eat?

Daffodilsandsunshine · 22/02/2024 08:21

I'd probably stab him in the hand with my fork if I caught him - only joking! - but hate with a passion people "sharing" my food. It's plain greedy. Does he do that with your DCs food too?

InSpainTheRain · 22/02/2024 08:20

Surely the answer is that he does whatever you were about to do while you finish your dinner. When he gets up nick any best bits from his plate. He'll soon stop playing his stupid game.

Milkmani · 22/02/2024 08:19

I dated a man like this once, kept eating my dinner if I popped to the loo in a restaurant or once he finished his meal would start picking at mine. Maybe it’s him 😂

JacksonLambsEatIvy · 22/02/2024 08:14

Emily1583 · 22/02/2024 08:10

I can't help but feel better communication would resolve this ie I've not finished my food yet. I'll finish it in a bit. Job done. Easy.

Don’t blame the OP for poor communication because she hasn’t said that he shouldn’t eat the food off her plate mid-meal when shes left the table for a moment to get the door or sort out a child or something.

JacksonLambsEatIvy · 22/02/2024 08:12

The idea that you are both fed up with this situation is ridiculous.

You are fed up because he keeps eating your food - off your plate!

He doesn’t like being told not to do something that is obviously selfish.

The two are not equivalent. Who steals their partner’s food as soon as they turn their back. It’s like a scene from a cartoon.

There’s no need to have a conversation with him about portion sizes or whatever. He’s an adult. If he needs more food he needs to use his words to ask for more (or serve himself more when he is cooking).

Emily1583 · 22/02/2024 08:10

I can't help but feel better communication would resolve this ie I've not finished my food yet. I'll finish it in a bit. Job done. Easy.

IndignantIguana · 22/02/2024 08:03

LimeViewer · 22/02/2024 00:53

Your title is wrong. He doesn't eat your leftovers, he eats your actual dinner. Wanker.

This exactly. Perhaps if he leaves the table during his dinner you could take his so he understands better.

ShagratandGorbag4ever · 22/02/2024 08:02

I'm probably an outlier, but I think eating someone else's leftovers is gross and disgusting whether they have finished eating or not.

Mix56 · 22/02/2024 08:01

He wouldn't do it if it was another adult.
Doing it more than once is deliberate.

TheChosenTwo · 22/02/2024 07:54

Your thread title is wrong, these are not leftovers he’s eating, no one would be annoyed at someone eating leftovers - they’re fair game. Your dinner is not.
Send him to deal with whatever you get up to do as you can’t trust him not to hoover up your dinner. And tell him why he needs to deal with it too.

DiscoBeat · 22/02/2024 07:49

Really annoying. We were always brought up to put our cutlery together in the middle of the plate when we were finished. Remind him of that so that he knows when to leave it!

Loubelle70 · 22/02/2024 07:48

Take plate with you

LaylaLayla1 · 22/02/2024 07:48

HirplesWithHaggis · 22/02/2024 00:54

Do you tell him specifically, "Do not touch that, cuntybaws, I will be back to finish it"? Try that, it might work. Or ltb.

“cuntybaws” 😂😂😂😂

LilyofftheValley · 22/02/2024 07:46

He is unreasonable but there are 2 very clear solutions

  1. He tends to the child
  2. Whoever is cooking makes a bigger portion size
SlumberDearMaid · 22/02/2024 07:42

Kalevala · 22/02/2024 07:36

I have said many times that the issue is the lack of permission and that that is wrong.

the issues folks have around food on here though is horrific. The abuse, greedy pig, fat fucker, 😳

Yes, it's comments like those that I disagree with.

Show quote history

People are calling him that because he’s hoovering up someone else’s food?!

They’re not calling him a pig for eating left-overs….. ?

TwylaSands · 22/02/2024 07:41

Tiggermom · 22/02/2024 07:25

You put your cutlery side by side on the plate at 11 o’clock to demonstrate you have finished eating.
if cutlery are not in this position you are still eating.

If op’s dh has been frequently told to stop eating the food off her plate, I very much dont the issue is the direction of the knife and fork.

coodawoodashooda · 22/02/2024 07:39

Testina · 22/02/2024 07:36

What is going on in your home that you so often have to leave your unfinished dinner for your child, and that it’s you that goes?

You could position your cutlery in classic finished / not finished positions. You could tell him every time - “don’t touch this”. Better still, you could tell him once that he doesn’t touch unless you say so.

But… the sort of person who needs you to introduce those strategies, is the sort of person that will ignore them.

So I’d go full on row over it 🤷🏻‍♀️

As soon as you start explaining basic humanity to your husband, it's, 'game over'. He wouldn't do it to his boss' dinner. He either doesn't give a fk about you or gets off on watching you react. Or both.

Kalevala · 22/02/2024 07:36

Kittybythelighthouse · 22/02/2024 07:34

The entire point of the thread is that it isn’t with agreement. This extraordinary man is eating OP’s dinner if she steps away for a moment to help one of the kids.

Show quote history

I have said many times that the issue is the lack of permission and that that is wrong.

the issues folks have around food on here though is horrific. The abuse, greedy pig, fat fucker, 😳

Yes, it's comments like those that I disagree with.

Testina · 22/02/2024 07:36

What is going on in your home that you so often have to leave your unfinished dinner for your child, and that it’s you that goes?

You could position your cutlery in classic finished / not finished positions. You could tell him every time - “don’t touch this”. Better still, you could tell him once that he doesn’t touch unless you say so.

But… the sort of person who needs you to introduce those strategies, is the sort of person that will ignore them.

So I’d go full on row over it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sunnydaysaregone · 22/02/2024 07:36

If you must leave the table before you’re finished eating cover your food with a plate and say you’ll be back to finish it. It’ll help keep it warm and hopefully discourage him from taking it.

Kittybythelighthouse · 22/02/2024 07:34

Kalevala · 22/02/2024 06:49

Yes, I agree. If it is with agreement then it is perfectly reasonable to share food and finish food. Sometimes one person isn't hungry and another is.

Show quote history

The entire point of the thread is that it isn’t with agreement. This extraordinary man is eating OP’s dinner if she steps away for a moment to help one of the kids.

Lampslights · 22/02/2024 07:31

How often do you need to step away in the middle of the Meal for so long that he has time to sit and eat your dinner without you seeing and it’s a thing? That sounds like something to be managed.

Anyway just say to him, I’m coming back to this.

the issues folks have around food on here though is horrific. The abuse, greedy pig, fat fucker, 😳

Alwaysgoingforit · 22/02/2024 07:31

Picking food off of mummys plate, yet another overgrown child.

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