Upset that husband eats my leftovers

FIL did this to me once. Family meal in a pub. I'm a really slow eater. Kids gobbled their pasta and went back outside to play on the swings. Small commotion so I went to go check. Half a plate of food completely scoffed by the big fat pig that is my father-in-law before anyone else at the table noticed.

I was also thinking that the child should be at the table with them but maybe that's because I'm old! Perhaps the child needs to leave the table to go to the toilet and needs help.

This. Maybe just cook bigger meals.

I have a similar situation, my husband LOVES his food and will eat & eat. Overtime I've learned that if I leave anything in the fridge I'd planned on keeping for myself (could be a chocolate bar, fizzy drink, leftover dinner) it's getting eaten!

Now I just say 'don't eat that X, I'm saving it' and he won't touch it.
Should I have to? I don't know. But if I don't, the fridge / pantry is a bloody free for all & he goes on a munch 🤣
I'd keep a bar of chocolate for ages until I want it but in his mind, he literally sees it and wants it 🙈

You just need to say to your husband you are coming back to your dinner or if you are keeping in fridge for next day, just say it.

This entire situation is bizarre.

Why on earth are you frequently leaving the room during dinner for, if not an extended period of time then certainly enough time for someone to eat a meal, which is more than 30 seconds. Just park your arse and eat your food. Get up when you're done, not before.

Why wouldn't you if you were just leaving the table to help your child with something say to your husband don't touch that it's not leftovers I'm still eating it. Granted a fully grown adult should not have to be told this does he not have any impulse control or something? I couldn't deal with being with a man (child) like that.

It would take him 2 seconds to say have you finished, do you mind if I finish it? Absolutely not in the wrong he is being greedy

@Lampslights

funnily enough though you don’t hear too many stories of women eating their husbands foods off their plate whilst husband tends to their young child

I wonder why that might be…

Given that people are actually giving advice you’d expect for socialising your own children, I think a tongue in cheek comment about teaching the food stealing husband a dog command seems fair.

If a man wrote this about a woman there would be an outcry. Give your head a wobble.

You could try teaching him the leave command. It worked soo well on my dog I don't need to say leave to him anymore, I can leave food on a plate anywhere and he doen't touch it. Not even overnight on the side in the kitchen!

Use tiny bits of chopped up cocktail sausage and tell him to leave the food you want him to leave, everytime he does, give him a tiny bit of sausage, it should work eventually! If it doesn't, leave the bastard.

If he's after a little something, direct him to the fruit bowl.

I’m going to start playing a game: is this advice for dealing with a husband or a child?

I suspect I may be depressed at how often the advice that sounds like it’s for a child (so advice where the woman is expected to take responsibility for things) but it’s actually about how to deal with the behaviour of a fully grown man and father.

I would say - you go and deal with the x/y/z as I am still eating my tea and I can't trust you not to eat it when I am out of the room you greedy twat.

What is the matter with him?!!!

OMG! I’d be raging at this. This isn't about hunger or his interpretation. It’s a seemingly small act but it has huge implications. He does not respect you or your boundaries. This would only happen once in my house.

I had this with my husband. No matter how high his plate is with food, he always asks for more. I don't make too much food, as I like to only cook what we can eat. The kids sometimes eat half, and ask to eat the rest later, which they do. I have to wrap up their plates and take into the kitchen, before my husband helps himself (he always says, they're not going to eat it?!). Wrap up leftovers and put away. If he's after a little something, direct him to the fruit bowl.

How about if he's already finished and your child needs help, he helps instead while you finish your own food!

You do realise OP that’s this isn’t normal at all, hes literally eating your dinner and is making excuses to justify his greed, I’d tell him specifically that he’s only allowed to eat your food if you tell him he can, it’s not up to you to control his greedy impulses.

@Triste1992

exactly op!

and you don’t think stealing YOUR food from YOUR plate is mean? Cos it is.

@VashtaNerada

i don’t think it’s a communication, i think it’s a respect issue - he doesn’t see her as important and sees his own wants as more important.

Just why with the abuse? There is no need for it. It’s not even your food, and you’re frothing at the mouth and hurling abuse with relish.

The onus is on the DH to ASK.

That’s crazy! What on earth! 😂 get him told, that would give me proper ick!

My ex used to do that with snacks etc, I’d be eating a chocolate bar and would put it down to eat the rest later or nip to the toilet and when I went back for it, it had been eaten, could never have anything without hiding it, to me if you are having to hide food from your SO so they don’t eat it, there’s a problem.

I have this problem too so if I have to leave food unattended for any reason, I hide it. But my problem is with cats and dogs eating my food, not another human!

Of course YANBU.

You shouldn't have to tell him every time, or remember to place your cutlery a certain way (if there even is any as you mention snacks), or cover it up. You have told him - the default to 'avoid issues' is that he doesn't take food off other peoples plates without asking.