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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Feel completely done at 2 kids

62 replies

SillyYou · 20/02/2024 11:27

I feel like I am an alien when it comes to this, my second child was a difficult baby and the thought of a third fills me with dread. I never really wanted kids growing up but since having them I have surprised myself how much I love being a mother and I am literally obsessed with them (not too much mind haha)

When I speak to my friends they always say they would love another baby, when I see new-born babies now I do think they are cute but I just see hard work!

Maybe I am not maternal, I just feel completely done and wondered if this was abnormal?

OP posts:
toomanyleggings · 20/02/2024 11:35

I felt done temporarily after one. She was very hard work. A good three years of hard core sleep deprivation. I then forgot how bad it was and had another 7 years later. Another three years of sleep deprivation. Definitely done now. I love them to pieces but children are exhausting. We have three because we’re blended family but I wouldn’t have had more in other circumstances

Meadowfinch · 20/02/2024 11:34

I stopped at one, due to my age but even if I had been younger, I'm not sure I would have had two.

I can care for one on my own, afford to raise one on my own. There are so many mums who have been left holding the babies and had years of struggle as a result.

Never mind the physical damage birth can do.

I don't think yabu at all.

StylishM · 20/02/2024 11:34

This sounds very familiar to me after 4. I feel done & absolutely happy with my family as it is.

Original poster
SillyYou · 20/02/2024 11:34

Just everybody I speak to seems to be toying with the idea, I had the 10 year coil put in soon after DS was born as I just knew I would not be doing it again. People look at me strange when I say absolutely no way do I want another child.

My friend is a completely different mum to me, I am quite organised and like to be doing stuff. She would happily sit in the house and let the kids trash it and is so chilled out, I think it depends on that too.

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 20/02/2024 11:33

Other peoples family size is irrelevant. Some people only want 1. Some people want 7. I only ever wanted 2. I have occasional twinges as my girls are tweens now. Theoretically a baby would lovely. But I’d hate being pregnant again. I would struggle with the no sleep, our family dynamics are just right now…… in reality we have all the children we need.

LilBus · 20/02/2024 11:33

If you was completely happy and done would you really need to post a thread about it? I would say most people don’t have more than 2 these days?

rubyslippers · 20/02/2024 11:31

Why do you feel it’s abnormal?
I can pinpoint the moment I knew I was done having babies and I stopped at two
Doesn’t make me less maternal
I had two none sleeping babies / toddlers and it broke me
it was sensible to stop at two

MaryActsLikeSheDontCare · 20/02/2024 11:31

2 children is surely the most common and normal number of children these days?

Rocknrollstar · 20/02/2024 11:30

My gorgeous, now grown 2DC were relatively easy. When the younger one was starting school my friendship group, all SAHMs, sat around talking about what we were going to do with our lives. One friend studied for an MA and I went to uni to train as a teacher. Everyone else had another baby. Honestly, I couldn’t understand them. It was a phase in my life but there had to be other things out there. If we had had more money we might well have had two more but , honestly, I’m grateful I didn’t. I built a career in education that I really enjoyed and everyone benefitted from the new me.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 20/02/2024 11:30

I would say this is normal. Most people stop at two. Why would you consider having another if you don’t want one?

VickyEadieofThigh · 20/02/2024 11:30

Other people's family sizes are irrelevant. Two is enough for you and you don't need anyone else's perspective.

Is someone trying to coerce you into having another child?

Original poster
SillyYou · 20/02/2024 11:27

Dont know if my age and my children's age is relevant but I am 33 (sadly almost 34) with a 3 and 6 year old

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