To Feel completely done at 2 kids

Two children is completely average and there is zero expectation for you from society to have more.

This isn’t always true. If you have children of the same sex, someone will always ask ‘but won’t you try for one of the opposite sex??’. As I said, I have three and literally from the moment I took him (the youngest) out these questions started. Apparently 2 is only acceptable if you have one of each 😑

This is your own issue. Two children is completely average and there is zero expectation for you from society to have more. It's possible you have an abnormal friendship group or friends who like to unsettle you. My youngest is 2 and I have no desire for a newborn. I could hold one for a few minutes before getting bored.

Be glad you know you’re ‘done’, I know I am (I had three though, sometimes I joke it was 2 too many 🤣). I know a couple of people who are 1 and done, I personally had this irritating voice of ‘just one more’ that wouldn’t go away. Once I had my third I absolutely knew that was it. He’s a lovely kid as well, it’s not the difficulty it’s just my urge to have babies is completely gone. But even if I was still baby mad, it would be near impossible now anyway, thank goodness.

I was absolutely desperate for my first child. It took us 18 months and Clomid to conceive him, and I was obsessed. But now I have 2, I, like the OP, categorically do not want any more. If I were to accidentally fall pregnant (unlikely, as I also have a 10 year coil) I would probably terminate. So it's not just people who never wanted to become mums!

@SillyYou I hear you. I love my DSs more than anything in the world and would not be without them for one minute. But no more. My physical health would be at risk from another pregnancy, and my mental health, finances and probably my marriage would be threatened by another baby. I just can't imagine putting myself through those early days again - and my DS2 was a pretty easy baby!

I work in obstetric theatres/labour ward quite often, so see several squishy newborns each week. They are cute, and I love sometimes sneaking a cuddle when I pass them to their parents, but while previously it made me feel "OMG I NEED THIS," now I'm very glad to hand them over! I think if you're done, you're done, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I’m not sure how anyone can feel like an “alien” for wanting only 2 kids, that’s about as average as it gets. Don’t want more, don’t have more 🤷🏻‍♀️

Two is the normal/average number of children people have, surely? I think some women do always hanker after more if not for money/space/lack of time and support... but thank goodness for contraception, eh!

Personally I was very done at one for a long time. Five years later I would like another, BUT I feel too old (42), my parents are nearing old age and the related problems, and I have no desire to go back to the newborn or toddler days. So I'm sticking at one. If you could drop a potty-trained 3.5 year old into my lap, with all the bonding from caring for them as a baby somehow in our brains, I would go for that 😂

Some people are one and done, you’re 2 and done.

I have 2 and wanted a 3rd for maybe a year and a half. My youngest is 2 now and like yourself, when I see pregnant ladies or newborns I don’t envy them. All I can think of is ‘good luck with the sleep deprivation’.

I’m so glad I didn’t go for a third when I had baby fever because baby fever is definitely gone 😂

I have two dc. I absolutely adore my dc. They are at times hard work but glad we had two as we would have had that what if. I think babies are very cute and remind me of my babies. However the thought of having anymore children absolutely fills me with horror. Dh feels the same. I would safely say that is a strong sign that our family is complete.

Stopping at two kids is the least abnormal thing surely? It’s what most people do.

It makes sense given that you never overly wanted kids.
Its like how if someone gets a dog when they didn't really yearn to have one, they'll like the dog but aren't likely to go and get 3 more! Or if someone quite enjoys their job but isn't obsessed with it, they'll do their job but not be wanting to stay for overtime.
It's just a difference in level of passion intensity like with anything else people do in life.

I think it’s pretty normal to know when enough is enough, I’m done at 2 and happy with my decision. Yes babies are cute but I love the freedom of getting rid of nappies, sleepless nights, breastfeeding, clinginess, potties etc. My youngest starts school this year and they’re so much more fun now, I love watching them grow into little individuals, playing together and I enjoy our life at the moment. And this is just reflective of me as a person but I simply do not have enough time, patience and attention to give to another child, alongside a busy job, a partner, keeping fit etc. I’m in awe of how parents of larger families manage this but happy I know my own limitations. I also struggled with miscarriages so it’s not even an option for me.

I think once you’re out of the phase it must be hard to go back to it.

Mine are 7/9 and my family is complete.

I sometimes miss MY tiny babies, I wish my 2 could be plump little puppies with wobbly walks and baby voices again for a couple of hours, but I do not want a third and I would not want to be back in the baby days for any longer than 5 hours max 😂

Practically speaking I am two and through: I’m exhausted, burned out, run ragged, drained, touched out and DONE.

Hormonally speaking every month at ovulation I am taken over by an insane TTC monster who wants newborns newborns newborns, now now now, procreate before it’s too late! (I’m 42.)

I’m perimenopausal and my periods are now 3 weeks apart and I appear to ovulate every second day; it feels like my body is one of those tennis ball practice machines programmed by Wallace and it is just FLINGING eggs every which way, and despite all practical and emotional concerns – we can’t afford another child, we don’t have another bedroom for another child, we don’t have the sleep and energy for another child, we’re stretched thin with no family support and long working hours so are already at our limit in terms of time and attention for the children we do have; I have horrendous pregnancies and would more or less be dead for nine months, not to mention a third C-section would basically end me – the mad urge remains to piss on sticks and fish them from bins to squint at them several thousand times a day. Can’t wait for full meno and an end to the mental madness because I really am done. But also OMG ONE MORE TINY SNUFFLEPIG NEWBORN SOFT HEAD WAHHHH.

I think that sounds completely normal. I always wanted children and always knew I wanted 2. As soon as my 2nd was born, I was like, I AM DONE! Absolutely never had even a little twinkly thought about having a 3rd. In fact, I did have a pregnancy scare - and while I suppose I would have come around to it - the thought of being pregnant filled me with horror. I do not want any more children. I'm very happy with mine and am as maternal as anyone I suppose. But when I was done, I was done, and I knew it.

DH and I only ever wanted two. After DS2 was born, dh had a vasectomy. I absolutely knew we wouldn't be having any more. I never regretted it.

Of my antenatal group, all but one couple had 2 dc. The one who had 3 wasn't planning to do so.....

I was done at 1, never mind 2. I knew it the moment he was born that I didn't want to go through the mental and physical strain of pregnancy again. Everyone said I'd change my mind. 16 years later, never changed my mind.

I have two DC. I would on the one hand love a third because I'd love another newborn and another child to love and all the good bits of having kids.

On the other hand, the impact of another pregnancy/delivery on my mental and physical health makes me not want another. Nor do I want to spend basically two years (pregnancy and a year after) with my reason for being tied to the care of a baby. I don't want the financial impact or the relationship impact for me and DH. I don't want the career impact.

So, two is right for us. I know lots of people who feel the same.

Does it really matter? Is anyone holding a gun to your head and forcing you to have another child? If you don’t want another then you don’t want another😆