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AIBU?

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Original poster

So emotional to move our from family home

68 replies

rowin · 20/02/2024 10:48

Hi all,

Im 26 and still live with my parents and my brother. I have recently been looking at houses.

I am now in a position to move out and will be putting an offer in this week on a house that I like.

However, the whole thing is tinged with sadness. I feel really upset about moving out of my family home. I am so close with my parents and my brother, and I love spending time with them and even just sitting watching tv with them in the evenings etc. We have such a special relationship.

The thought of moving out and not being surrounded by my family anymore is a horrible feeling and the thought of never living with them and life as I know it now is making me so emotional I have tears in my eyes writing this.

The house in question is only 5 minutes away so is not far.

I just feel as though I am leaving my family behind and that things will never be the same again.

Aibu in feeling like this? Has anyone else felt like this before?

OP posts:
Original poster
rowin · 20/02/2024 11:36

@DifferentAlgebra I moved out for uni for 3 years but I think it was different as I knew that was temporary.

I go on many holidays, am always out doing things with friends and my boyfriend, I'm not one to just sit in the house.

I think it's the comfort of knowing that I get to come home to my parents and brother, it's my home. The thought of not being here anymore is scary.

OP posts:
Original poster
rowin · 20/02/2024 11:35

@daisiesandpeonies thank you for your kind words, it's comforting to hear that you felt the same and managed.

It's strange isn't it, I can't imagine anywhere else other than here feeling like home to me.

The thought of having my own place and decorating how I want, having friends over, etc is exciting but my family will always be at the back of my mind x

OP posts:
DifferentAlgebra · 20/02/2024 11:29

OP, are you an unusually timid homebody? Did you go away to university or to travel? Have you never lived away from your parents’ house or by yourself, ever? It’s nice that you’re so close to your parents, but fundamentally their job is to render you an independent adult, capable of existing solo in the world. Your relationship will move to a new phase now, if you’ll let it.

daisiesandpeonies · 20/02/2024 11:29

Sending hugs op Flowers I moved out at 26 too - I cried all the way to my new flat! It's hard when you're close to your family and they like you being home too, but you obviously believe it's time or you wouldn't be leaving. Your family home may still feel more like 'home' for the time being - a safe place to visit when you need to recharge. Now that I'm married with a family of my own, my own house feels like 'home'. Good luck Flowers

CookStrait · 20/02/2024 11:23

Try staying in a hotel for a short while & see how you feel. You will eventually get used to it, if not there’s no reason why you can’t stay with your family if you really want to. You could build a small house in the garden.

TheSandHurtsMyFeelings · 20/02/2024 11:18

It's lovely that you have such a close bond with your family. Independence is important too, though, and you are very fortunate to be able to afford to buy your own home at 26.

Enjoy the positives you will get from moving out - freedom, independence, an opportunity to carve out your own life - alongside the love and security you clearly get from being around your family. You're in a great position, make the most of it!

Original poster
rowin · 20/02/2024 11:15

@Rhythmisadancer thank you for your lovely comment, you are so right.

Your correct about nostalgia, thinking about childhood / teenage years, my family, our memories and dynamic etc keeps me up at night. I just wish I could stay this age and in this situation forever

OP posts:
Original poster
rowin · 20/02/2024 11:13

Thanks everyone, you are all right.

I keep thinking that I am 26 so it is about time that I move out in to my own place, it's just hard and I don't like the thought of change.

Even if I decided to stay here for another few years, id probably be feeling like this when the time comes anyway, I don't think id ever be overjoyed with the whole thing I think I'll always be sad about it

OP posts:
Rhythmisadancer · 20/02/2024 11:13

Aww it's lovely that you appreciate your family and that you have such positive associations with the home you grew up in. You're very lucky to be moving close by, and will have the opportunity to put in place all the best bits of extended family life, whether it's Friday night dinner, Sunday lunch or whatever, and still be able to move into the next exciting chapter of your independent life.
Nostalgia is a type of pain but it can be quite a nice iyswim, so just have a little wallow and then try to focus on the positives.

FictionalCharacter · 20/02/2024 11:05

You’re actually very lucky. You’ll have your own home - which will be wonderful - but your parents’ home is close by. They will be happy to see you when you visit and you’ll be happy to see them. It’s the perfect way to leave home.

BobbyBiscuits · 20/02/2024 11:01

Well done for being in a position to get your own place at 26. Of course it's daunting moving out, it's a big step and perfectly natural. As you say they are 5 mins away. Have them round the new place, make them dinner, ask for advice or help with DIY, shop for furnishings together. Make it something positive that your family will gain from. Another nice space where you can all meet and it's yours. All yours! 😀

ancienticecream · 20/02/2024 10:58

I get it, but I'm glad you're close by!

My aunt visits my grandparents almost every single day. It's quite sweet.

ViciousCurrentBun · 20/02/2024 10:55

I would say you are in an ideal position in that you can still live so close. I had moved hundreds of miles away by your age as had DH. My career choice was not available in the little rural idyll I grew up in. It is fine to feel a little sad but do not let it overwhelm you. Imagine being able to invite them round for a nice Sunday roast all of your own making. You and your Mum will be able to pick stuff out to furnish your home together.

It will never be quite the same again but you have loving parents and they are still your parents.

Original poster
rowin · 20/02/2024 10:53

Thanks everyone, I'm an emotional wreck I don't know what's wrong with me 😂

It's harder because my family love having me here, so it makes me feel worse. Especially me and my brother were very close in age so I kind of feel like I'm leaving him if that makes sense

It's around a 5 minute walk from my family home, the way I'm talking you could swear I'm moving half way across the world!

OP posts:
TastyLikeARaindrop · 20/02/2024 10:51

You are lucky to have such a loving family. Enjoy your independence while still having them close by.

coldcallerbaiter · 20/02/2024 10:51

Happens to most people, you need a new phase in life, you might establish your own family home.

anniz91 · 20/02/2024 10:51

rowin · 20/02/2024 10:48

Hi all,

Im 26 and still live with my parents and my brother. I have recently been looking at houses.

I am now in a position to move out and will be putting an offer in this week on a house that I like.

However, the whole thing is tinged with sadness. I feel really upset about moving out of my family home. I am so close with my parents and my brother, and I love spending time with them and even just sitting watching tv with them in the evenings etc. We have such a special relationship.

The thought of moving out and not being surrounded by my family anymore is a horrible feeling and the thought of never living with them and life as I know it now is making me so emotional I have tears in my eyes writing this.

The house in question is only 5 minutes away so is not far.

I just feel as though I am leaving my family behind and that things will never be the same again.

Aibu in feeling like this? Has anyone else felt like this before?

Your lucky your parents are able to let you stay for that long. Been kicked out at 21 which just strained the relationship. Parents these days push independence too soon!

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 20/02/2024 10:49

Whilst that's really sweet, you need to grow up some time op. Smile

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