AIBU to think (some) overweight people feel the need to comment on portion sizes

My best friend had the same problem with her MIL. Her MIL would only comment on what she was eating and no one else at family dinners. She was quite happy not to deal with her MIL anymore after she divorced her ex.

I imagine this does happen a lot, but I don’t think that obese people are imagining it when they eat huge portions and see people looking at them.

I have been around slim people who do this too. It is very annoying whoever does it. Denotes a lot of food shame I think.

Anybody commenting on food is irritating. I am slim build, and whenever I finished my food, my mother-in-law always used to say ‘oh someone was hungry’. It used to make me feel very embarrassed and self-conscious, especially when I was younger.

I'm very overweight. I never comment on portion sizes or talk about food much at all. I'm a biscuit/chocolate snacker, that's half the reason I'm overweight. I don't eat big portions or junk food. I can't even handle a starter and a main meal usually. Most slim people seem to think that big people can eat half a cow or eat kebabs, burgers and fatty take aways. It doesnt actually take a large volume of food to make people fat, just high calorie foods. So maybe that's why overweight people feel the need to point out big portions. Like I said I don't, but I can understand those that do.

MiL is exactly like this, and she also tries to inflict her issues onto other people. I find it so tiresome. Last time we ordered food she tried to make me order a child's meal, because I couldn't possibly eat an adult's one apparently. She went on and on (it wasn't about the cost as we were paying). Wanted to tell her to Just f* off!!!!

Ime, it’s people who either struggle with their weight regardless of their size or to make the person eating xyz uncomfortable.

I have had people feel it’s necessary to comment on how little or much I eat and what it is when all I want to do is just enjoy my food. My mum being the one who comments the most and makes comments when none were needed, chimes in when someone asks me a question before I can answer. She will go on and on if I order a food she wouldn’t eat or dislikes, how I can put away food, but was also the same person telling me xyz would make me fat, asking if I was anorexic because my clavicles naturally jut out and why I didn’t have a six pack. My sister got into the act too and it was completely fine for her to do it because I’m slender and she is overweight.

I think some people think their food choices and intake are of interest to others, I don’t think it’s a size issue. I’ve got a much older friend who is a normal weight but every single time we go for lunch she will comment about how big the portions are, how she doesn’t eat very much etc. It’s quite tedious really especially as she always eats it all anyway!

Don’t worry they definitely don’t. The ones with food anxiety are commenting but the rest of us aren’t. And if we had parents with these issues we are just trying to sit in a quiet corner and manage a sandwich and try to enjoy it.

💐💐💐

I’m overweight**. Unless you are overweight you can’t really fully understand how people ‘look at you’. Plus, we all know we’re fat. So, I know for sure that unless I’m with people I feel very comfortable with (or other fatties), it can be that we might comment on certain things as you have described, it’s a sort of defence mechanism to deflect/cover up the fact that we know people are (silently) judging us for whatever we eat most of the time.

** I was Obese but have lost 10lbs in 6 weeks 😋😋

Sounds like my mother

You are 100% correct. Think of your daughter. As above I have a parent like this, but parent is small, and it’s had a dreadful impact on me.

It’s food anxiety, not based upon size. One of my parents is the same but very slim.

What’s worse is now in my 50s that and my toxic childhood has rubbed off on me and I don’t eat out at all incase I’m judged, I’m bigger btw (16-18) and all my mums comments about food/eating/peoples clothes size etc start whirling away in my head. Really bad days I don’t even eat at the table with my partner I go and eat in a room alone.

I dont think its said that ALL women over a certain age say this?

But are women from certain generations victims of diet culture? Absolutely. My mum and aunt absolutely passed their disordered eating onto me.

No. It's your mum! You can't extrapolate what one 70yo says to the whole of her age group.

IMO this is more likely to be generational. My mum says this about ALL MEALS and it drives me up the wall -- she is maybe slightly overweight (10-15 pounds max?) but over 70, and she has been like this all my life (even at times when she has been very thin). Sometimes I just want to tell her to shut up and leave the food she couldn't possibly eat, but I know she'd be offended... 😬

My FIL is slim and does this constantly to remind everyone that he’s slim because of moderation (when in fact it is largely due to genetics).

"My mum will do things like pick up chips for the kids "as a treat" then get herself a salad then starts with "oh wow there's too many chips, she'll never eat those chips will she, you'll never eat all those you'll be sick, do you have hollow legs, where will you put it a skinny thing like you, you won't stay skinny for long eating all those chips, I'm so full from looking at your chips I can't eat my salad now, the smell from your chips is putting me off...blah blah blah."

This kind of behaviour is so fucking self absorbed and "look at me" I absolutely hate this sort of shit.

Genuinely I don't think the people who are doing this are any more or less likely to be overweight. But they are attention seekers. And probably martyrs as well. It seems to go hand in hand.

I think it's just from an obsession with food usually due to dieting. The women in my family across several generations are underweight and always on diets. That is normal speech for them. My mum will do things like pick up chips for the kids "as a treat" then get herself a salad then starts with "oh wow there's too many chips, she'll never eat those chips will she, you'll never eat all those you'll be sick, do you have hollow legs, where will you put it a skinny thing like you, you won't stay skinny for long eating all those chips, I'm so full from looking at your chips I can't eat my salad now, the smell from your chips is putting me off...blah blah blah. I'm the only overweight one in my family and cringe at the thought of making any food related comments. I eat in silence and alone where possible.

Fil is like a whippet as well ,not an ounce of fat ,unlike me

That's interesting op
Now my fil does exactly this ,but
I assumed he was doing it to have a dig at me , because I am fat .
It makes me feel very uncomfortable

Performative compliance to the pressure for women to be smaller. My mother used to do it. Happens when women have had people telling them "you don't need all that, you're fat enough".

Then why feel the need to comment here about it instead? Genuine question. It's like saying I am so much better than her (and others like her).

I don’t agree that it’s just overweight people. The person I know who comments most frequently on portion sizes (his own and other people’s) is a slim, middle aged man.