Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do you feel about women that don't wear make-up -thread 2

217 replies

flutterby1 · 20/02/2024 07:41

Just wondering what your true JUDGY thoughts are? I don't wear makeup often I'm in my mid forties. How am I perceived? Lazy? Frumpy? Not caring? Boring? Can't be bothered to make an effort for others ? Or self confident enough not to ' need' it, regardless of how attractive you view yourself ?

OP posts:
LadyMonicaBaddingham · 05/06/2025 17:24

I literally don't care. It's entirely their independent choice to make and has absolutely no effect on me or anyone else...

Shelllendyouhertoothbrushtoo · 05/06/2025 17:17

I've been thinking about this recently because I don't wear make up often because I can't be arsed.

I think we need to re-claim the term, "she's let herself go!".

Yes. I've let myself go from ridiculous, misogynistic beauty standards and expectations.
I've let myself go from having to be smooth as a baby's bum all over.
I've let myself go from worrying what men I don't know think about my face and body (because I'm certain most women don't give a flying fck)
I've let myself go from routines that mean I have to get up earlier than my husband despite sleeping worse because he keeps me awake all night snoring.
I've let myself go from putting their needs of how I should be and look above my own peace.

AKA menopause.

wand3rer · 05/06/2025 16:57

CoffeeAddick · 20/02/2024 08:03

If I saw a woman over 40 without make up my thoughts on her will be coloured by the occasion (gym, hospital, wedding), the context in which I see her (recently bereaved, just woke up, recovering from surgery, walking the dog), how the rest of her appearance looks in terms of style and grooming. Her accent and voice as well, does she sound like a posh woman,a rough accent, an essex accent?

If she looks good I would wonder if she has no make up make up on, of if she works in skin and beauty so has access to all the best tech or if she is a rich woman having a day off (sports, tired, feeling down, letting skin 'breathe').

If she has skin issues that would look better with make up like pigmentation, dark circles, sallow skin (basically how I look without make up) then I would wonder if she is ill, depressed or doesn't know how to apply make up (because that's my situation) because I know she would look better with some and it doesn't even take much time or products. The only times I haven't bothered were when I was too sad or ill or both to bother with make up.

If she looks average, depending on her mannerisms, voice tone and clothes I would wonder if she is a butch lesbian or religious or super feminist.

I never wore makeup, except on my wedding day.

I never wondered what people thought of it, but now I'd love to know! Would you have put me in the butch lesbian, religious, or super feminist category? 😁

BucketofTeaMassiveCake · 05/06/2025 16:56

I feel that women who don't wear make-up either have enough self-confidence to go without or conversely perhaps don't have the confidence to apply it as they feel that they don't know how to do so or know what suits them.

At 70 I only wear eyebrow pencil (largely lost them to chemotherapy) and lipstick for a day out. I make an effort to dress smartly and have nice hair. If people have an opinion about me that's their business. I would rather be judged on my personality, how I treat people, rather than how I look.

When I was younger I wore the whole kaboodle - foundation, blusher, eye-shadow, powder. It was probably because I had no self-confidence whatsoever and used all this stuff as armour in order to be able to face the world.

Now I don't really care what others think of me, see above.

menopausalfart · 05/06/2025 16:55

The only time I notice make-up, is if someone has plastered their face in it.

PinkiOcelot · 05/06/2025 16:46

I honestly don’t feel anything at all. Whether someone is wearing it or not isn’t on my radar.
I wear it but don’t care if others do or don’t.

Tessiebear2023 · 05/06/2025 16:41

Hiddenvoice · 20/02/2024 07:58

I feel jealous if I’m honest and I know it sounds stupid. I’m so insecure in my own skin that I put make up on as my mask. I see women who go about naturally and I wish I had their confidence and their lovely skin.

I don’t wear heavy make up, I try my hardest to make it look natural and not cakey. I’ve gone to work a few times without and had comments from colleagues that I look tired, that I must be unwell or I’m having a bad day.
I’ve also had a ‘friend’ comment to my dh and her dh that I’m not one of those women who can go without and need make up to look more appealing.

Same here. I wear a bit of makeup everyday, but on the days I've just had to go out without it usually gets a concerned look, or commented on "are you OK?" type thing.

I have blonde hair, so my eyebrows and lashes are almost invisible if I don't want makeup, and I also have very bad acne scarring, so my complexion is quite uneven.

I'd love to be able to not wear makeup and go unnoticed.

Wimpeyspread · 05/06/2025 16:40

CoffeeAddick · 20/02/2024 08:03

If I saw a woman over 40 without make up my thoughts on her will be coloured by the occasion (gym, hospital, wedding), the context in which I see her (recently bereaved, just woke up, recovering from surgery, walking the dog), how the rest of her appearance looks in terms of style and grooming. Her accent and voice as well, does she sound like a posh woman,a rough accent, an essex accent?

If she looks good I would wonder if she has no make up make up on, of if she works in skin and beauty so has access to all the best tech or if she is a rich woman having a day off (sports, tired, feeling down, letting skin 'breathe').

If she has skin issues that would look better with make up like pigmentation, dark circles, sallow skin (basically how I look without make up) then I would wonder if she is ill, depressed or doesn't know how to apply make up (because that's my situation) because I know she would look better with some and it doesn't even take much time or products. The only times I haven't bothered were when I was too sad or ill or both to bother with make up.

If she looks average, depending on her mannerisms, voice tone and clothes I would wonder if she is a butch lesbian or religious or super feminist.

You spend an awful lot of time theorising about other people’s looks! I couldn’t tell you which of my friends wears makeup and which doesn’t, and I certainly don’t care! I don’t, never have, can’t see the point

Youagain2025 · 05/06/2025 16:38

lm mid 40s and have not worn make you since I was 20. And to be honest I look really old. Its been so ong I just wouldn't now.

AnonKat · 05/06/2025 16:35

I only wear it for events like weddings or parties. Never everyday. I've always been lucky with clear skin. But mostly I'm just not good at make up! I think i look better without it with my skills 🤣

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 05/06/2025 16:33

My job means we are expected to look professional, and the majority do wear subtle make up , but I certainly don’t judge the lady who doesn’t, it’s just not her thing .

I will never understand how it's considered somehow 'unprofessional' to be seen at work with your own (clean, washed) face - but only for half of the employees.

It makes me think of that horrible up-themselves clothes shop - is it A&F? - that only employs sales staff whom they consider to be 'attractive', regardless of how friendly, efficient, skilled and experienced they are in customer service.

There's nothing more unprofessional than bigotry against people whom you arrogantly consider inferior to you, because of their natural physical appearance, in my book.

spoonbillstretford · 05/06/2025 16:32

I can't say as I generally notice whether someone is wearing makeup, OP.

I only notice when someone is really wearing a lot and has weird enhancements and clothes in the manner of Katie Price.

BIossomtoes · 05/06/2025 16:26

ginasevern · 05/06/2025 16:06

Maybe it's just me but I don't see too many women wearing make-up these days, or at least not much, and certainly not young women. Admittedly I haven't been anywhere glamorous or to something like a wedding for years, so I guess women would still wear it then.

Maybe they’re like me and intentionally make it invisible? Apart from lipstick - and I love a red lip - you’d probably think I wasn’t wearing any.

Sofiewoo · 05/06/2025 16:19

I don’t care what anyone does with their own face. I do hate when women act like they’re so much better or smarter than women who do wear it though. Exhausting.

neverbeenskiing · 05/06/2025 16:17

I wear make up every day but I don't tend to notice whether other women are wearing make up or not unless they're very heavily made up.

whatisitallaboutthen · 05/06/2025 16:09

CoffeeAddick · 20/02/2024 08:03

If I saw a woman over 40 without make up my thoughts on her will be coloured by the occasion (gym, hospital, wedding), the context in which I see her (recently bereaved, just woke up, recovering from surgery, walking the dog), how the rest of her appearance looks in terms of style and grooming. Her accent and voice as well, does she sound like a posh woman,a rough accent, an essex accent?

If she looks good I would wonder if she has no make up make up on, of if she works in skin and beauty so has access to all the best tech or if she is a rich woman having a day off (sports, tired, feeling down, letting skin 'breathe').

If she has skin issues that would look better with make up like pigmentation, dark circles, sallow skin (basically how I look without make up) then I would wonder if she is ill, depressed or doesn't know how to apply make up (because that's my situation) because I know she would look better with some and it doesn't even take much time or products. The only times I haven't bothered were when I was too sad or ill or both to bother with make up.

If she looks average, depending on her mannerisms, voice tone and clothes I would wonder if she is a butch lesbian or religious or super feminist.

Wow! I've lost count of all the presumptions in this post! Maybe they are happy in their own skin and can't be bothered to put on make up to please others 😆

ginasevern · 05/06/2025 16:06

Maybe it's just me but I don't see too many women wearing make-up these days, or at least not much, and certainly not young women. Admittedly I haven't been anywhere glamorous or to something like a wedding for years, so I guess women would still wear it then.

Havvingaalaugh · 05/06/2025 15:52

I don’t wear makeup, I haven’t for years. I don’t really like it, or how it feels on my face. I have very irritable eyes, so definitely can’t wear eye makeup.

I couldn’t care less what others do.

BobbyBiscuits · 05/06/2025 15:45

Katiesaidthat · 05/06/2025 15:11

I need the goddamned laughing emoji for this one (looking at you Mumsnet, bring it back!). Your last paragraph made me laugh, walk in a straight line 😂

Thank you! It's true though isn't it? Maybe that and shave their pubes occasionally?! 🤣

BIossomtoes · 05/06/2025 15:40

Just to add that since I’ve got too old for it I’m sick with envy of younger women who wear black eyeliner flicked up at the outer corner.

CandidRaven · 05/06/2025 15:32

I don't notice to be honest, I haven't worn it in years I've got sensitive skin and it makes it worse so I just leave it alone now and no one comments or cared I don't think

outerspacepotato · 05/06/2025 15:23

I don't notice unless it's something painterly, like vivid eye shadows really well blended or fantastic looking skin.

I'm usually bare faced with sunscreen but occasionally wear a my face but better look. I've worn Black Honey since the 90s.

Koalafan · 05/06/2025 15:21

AnotherNaCha · 05/06/2025 15:18

Thing is, someone can be super healthy and do all the right things and still have “bad” skin. There’s nothing more I can try to unclog or shrink my pores, or get rid of blotchiness! Make up is the only thing that at least gives me some confidence

I won't judge you for wearing it if you don't judge me for not wearing it (which I assume you don't).
Feminism means empowering women to do what's right for them. 👍

Koalafan · 05/06/2025 15:20

Most women who don't wear make up probably don't care what others think.
😬

AnotherNaCha · 05/06/2025 15:18

Lalalalala555 · 20/02/2024 07:54

I think looking after your skin and health is something I value more than wearing makeup everyday.

Ie protection from uva and uvb rays. This can cause cancer. So I usually wear protection for this when I go outside.
It does turn out that this helps with anti aging. But I don't see it as makeup.

I see make up as surface level, whereas eating healthy, looking after skin, having sleep, hydrating, reviewing stressors, face and head massage, in life are more what I see as important now. They impact your health and that reflects in your appearance as well.
Makeup just seems to change colours of things.
And I'd rather take a more deeper look at what caring for myself is.

Appearing as a person of peace and good health, I think is more attractive than makeup.
When I think about friends and people I know, the people that I admire are not because they wear makeup.

Thing is, someone can be super healthy and do all the right things and still have “bad” skin. There’s nothing more I can try to unclog or shrink my pores, or get rid of blotchiness! Make up is the only thing that at least gives me some confidence

Swipe left for the next trending thread