Annoyed by random man incidents

Swim lanes are the worst! I swam competitively as a teenager and still regularly plough up and down my local pool for fitness. So many times I have been subjected to d**kish behaviour by men - and, I'm sorry, it is nearly always men - because their fragile egos cannot accept that a woman might be a stronger, faster swimmer than them.

An example - I had the rare luxury of having a lane completely to myself. So was a bit agog when a man joined it barely a body length in front of me. Why, just why? Would it have killed him to join the lane when I was at the opposite side so we each had plenty of space? Fortunately, I was soon able to overtake him. Several times.

So many times, in a busy lane it is obvious that I am right on the heels of the swimmer in front. Women tend to be more aware and pause at the lane end to allow me to pass: men rarely do.

Must be with inane and laughable remarks like that @Vegemiteandhoneyontoast

Is it still half term?

They're probably just sick of being held up by some women faffing about constantly. I know I am.

TRUE! Even my own (mostly decent) DH gets a little bit sniffy and very slightly butthurt, if I think of a good idea, (that he didn't think of first,) and if he does congratulate me he does it through gritted teeth. 😁Over the years I have found ways to make him think he thought of stuff, or said a man I know suggested it. 'Oh Dave at work said THIS would be a good idea to do with our flowerbeds and lawn.' Because a MAN suggested it, he goes with it.

I don't do it now, I just spill out my good ideas, and if he doesn't like or compliment them, I don't give a shiny shite. If I like something, or think something is a good idea, that's enough for me. He if doesn't approve IDGAF. I don't need his approval for ANYthing. I don't need ANYone's approval actually.

I am better at a lot of things than DH is, and it has made him gloomy and arsey sometimes in the past, but this past decade or so, he doesn't care quite as much. A BIT but not much. He even acknowledges occasionally that I am cleverer than him (academically.) He's right.

I don't need random men to treat me like a precious metal. Just basic human decency will do.

Just a couple of weeks ago I was stewarding at an event. My job was to check a particular piece of sports equipment for every competitor to make sure that it was compliant with the rules. Competitors are given a time for their event, and asked to register to the check 15 minutes before time, so there's plenty of time to check properly, and gives time to sort out a replacement if it fails.
As always, had a few awkward people, arguing despite the rules being very clear, and printed out next to me. One particular man rocked up at his start time (rather than the 15 minutes before) and tried to push past the check area. I called him over, explaining that he couldn't compete until it had been checked. He did the usual "Well it's compliant, I've used it before at x competition etc, you're going to make me late." When I insisted (knowing that he'd not be able to compete without, and it would hold up subsequent competitors) he got right up in my face, pointy finger and all, really aggressively and started shouting about how he'd been too busy to be earlier. Made a bit of a tit of himself in front of a bunch of other competitors, who all seemed rather bemused by it all. The worst thing is, it's someone who I know, and who coaches children in a different sport.
He's only about 5'5" tall, not sure if this has any bearing - I've had as bad from tall men too, TBH. I'm short.

Perhaps most men live in an instinctive hierarchy with other men. Bigger, richer, older/younger men feel superior to other men just as they go about their business from day to day. The smaller/poorer men often feel their lesser status with other men. But all these men can feel superior to women in most cases
@Iamnotawinp
I agree with this. Previously even the most lowly man was secure in the knowledge that all women were beneath him, but now women are no longer prepared to automatically defer to men and so the men at the bottom are truly at the bottom . . .and they are very angry about it.

What a dipshit this man is! 😆 If the (female) golfer had been around 45 or older, she'd have told him to fuck off. Middle aged women/Generation X don't tolerate mansplaining.

He was not just 'helping' as he would never had done this to a man. Only if said man asked for the help. Why was she so polite?!

Thought I’d add this - random bloke tells female PGA professional how to do her golf swing. She was unbelievably polite!

x.com/EmiliaRxse/status/1760335913593225602?s=20

I’ve had my fair share of cat calling and sexual stuff when young and aggressiveness from men now I’m older.

I wonder if years ago when the patriarchy was stronger and as a society women deferred to men, that public politeness to women by men (holding doors open etc) was because men had the choice to bestow it on women as a gift. Therefore, in their eyes, becoming a ‘true gentleman’.

But is no longer their ‘gift’, it is a woman’s right.

Now with an older generation of women who don’t want to take that shit no more, and a younger generation of women expecting far more equality with men, there’s a subsection of men feeling the need to assert their masculinity at any time they feel women are infringing their ‘natural’ rights.

Just another thought. Perhaps most men live in an instinctive hierarchy with other men. Bigger, richer, older/younger men feel superior to other men just as they go about their business from day to day. The smaller/poorer men often feel their lesser status with other men. But all these men can feel superior to women in most cases. or it’s payback to women for these men having less status from other men.

Im not saying that’s it’s all deliberate, but that men get used to living in a more hierarchical and competitive world with other men, and that gets transferred onto women when they interact with women in public places.

Anyway, it’s just a thought. But if true, that definitely is a case of toxic masculinity and does neither sex a service.

Jeez, that is AWFUL
Men are prone to responding extremely badly if a woman beats them at anything.
If I ever get the opportunity swimming running cycling or in the gym to beat a man I will absolutely go for it 🤣

My daughter used to be in a tri club, she was 16, tiny, but a very good swimmer. More than once she had adult men swim over the top of her to overtake, rather than wait / swim around. Usually then they'd have worn themselves out, would drop speed then she'd have to overtake them. The first time I assumed it was accidental, but over the couple of years she swam there it happened most weeks, unless in a lane with other women (who never felt the need to swim over her).

This is what I do and am teaching my daughter
We like to walk and hike despite disability so I have my 8 year old strapped to my back so slightly wider than norm and my daughter walks next to me but as soon as we see other people I tell her to get in front of me only for couples or groups of people to walk at us instead of going single file themselves

I've told her under no circumstances is she to get off the path into mud or nettles just because others don't want to have to be reasonable and share the space

My DS was supposed to have a sleepover with my mum but she rang me late in the evening to collect him becuase he wouldn't go to bed. Driving on a 60 road there was a car going less than 30 so I overtook. He sped up to block me on the wrong side of the road with oncoming traffic so i did pretty much have to force my way back in or have a head on collision. I knew if I'd fallen back he'd be able to stop me or break check me so I just tried to get away. He spent the next 10 minutes driving like a psycho getting close, pulling alongside me. I finally had to stop at a red light (in hindsight, should have kept going and 100% should have called the police)

He got out his car and opened my car door and was screaming at me. I just kept pointing out his daughter crying her eyes out in his car.

In hindsight. Should have called the police at any point in the whole event, but I just wanted to get away and get tto my son. And now I don't drive alone at night.

@Americano75 let's just say I imagine he had a very sore neck for a while! Apparently he ended up reversing at high speed to get my BIL off him! Thank god it was at night and the road was empty.

I love this thread and all the examples where women have not given an inch!

Another instance that's just come to me, on the school bus after school, the bus is packed and loads of kids are standing. A boy in the year above is being a bellend, throwing his football about, running up and down the aisle etc. I guess he saw me and decided a younger, bespectacled girl was an easy target so came up to me and demanded I get up so he can sit down. I said no. He got louder, I eventually told him to sit on the floor as that's where dogs are supposed to sit. He didn't like that but left me alone.

A little while later, as the bus slowly emptied, he must have found a seat somewhere behind me, because I suddenly felt his football hit the back of my head. At that point I got up and launched myself at him punching and smacking him round the head yelling like a banshee 😂 then I got my bag and flounced off the bus. It wasn't even my stop but I thought it best! He never spoke to me again!

I work out with my daughter at the gym, she has physical disabilities along with autism and other conditions
We were on the chest press and I was talking away to her while she tried to push 10kg and this absolute bell end came up to us clapping in my face while shouting "more working, less talking" which instantly shut my daughter down and she started with her motor tics

Daft thing is the idiot had been standing chatting to the trainer who knows us both very well so clearly should take his own "advice"
He then blocked another woman who was trying to head into the weights area until she walked off back to the cardio zone

Thankfully he's definitely the minority in our gym, the rest of the lifters for the most part don't give two hoots what women are doing

And yet they manage to respect other men, don't they?

Thank you so much for coming onto this thread and mansplaining, thereby proving everyone's point.

It's women who are playing Patriarchy Chicken. Men are playing Patriarchy.

I love this 😂

Why did he need too? are women more 'precious' then men?

Wouldnt it be simple for both sees to just treat each other equally?

You obviously don’t remember the times women were held in higher esteem than they are now. My father treated women like gold.

@CameltoeParkerBowles 3 words back at them will stop the unsolicited advice in its tracks "cool story bro" they absolutely hate this you're welcome

Great topic and YES SO MANY. Agree it's about dominating and showing who's boss