Annoyed by random man incidents

Him definitely.
Don't waste any more time thinking about it.

Oh yes, my ex made it very clear when I split with him that he thought I was "too happy on my own and too independent for a relationship". He ended the ranty paragraph with "I just wanted you to NEED me!".

Red flag well and truly noted for the future!

Doesn't that reinforce the idea that we need their help and cannot know the answers for ourselves and/or ask them to carry out tasks as instructed?

@Gloriosaford
Men love it when women ask them for help. At work I've learned to not tell them what to do but to ask for help with a problem. I find stuff gets done just like that .

Seems to me that where interacting with women is concerned a lot of them are only happy if they are the boss, if they are in control of everything and they get all the benefits of any situation.
If they can't have that they will look for ways to exploit the woman, if that doesn't work they sabotage.

I do think that a lot of men have an issue with a woman being "out of her place". Because, for all that they might pay lip service to ideas of equality, a depressing percentage of men would quietly quite like a "traditional" set up particularly when the hard work of children comes along: wife who oversees the house and children, maybe has a part-time job around this, but he is the one who gets to go to work every day (which gets him away from domestic drudgery and the mental effort attached to it all) and spend weekends doing his hobbies (which is justified because "he's been working hard all week"). With a bit of Disney Dadding from time to time, to look like a modern man and to justify the rest of his behaviour.

And that attitude extends to other areas of life.

The men who truly see women as their equals, peers and partners are relatively few and far between, IMO.

Or if a woman can cycle faster than them.

In my early 20s my Coventry Eagle bicycle was my main transport and I went everywhere on it. The main journey was to college, which was just under nine miles away, and involved a very long slope for a good part of the route - Barr Beacon hill, if you know it - but I was young and very fit and enjoyed really pushing it up that hill. One day I got to the traffic lights at the top of the hill and was taking a breather while the lights were red and a heavily puffing man on a bike pulled up next to me. He complained that he'd been trying to catch me up for three miles but was unable to do so. Those were the days 😂

Absolutely this.
I don't understand why it is a problem for men if:
A woman earns more than them
A woman can run faster than them
A woman is taller than them
A woman can lift heavier weights than them
A woman knows more about something than them
A woman is a specialist at something

It has no bearing on them whatsoever. It doesn't make them (contrary to what they may think) any lesser a person. It means that different people and/or different bodies have different abilities. Why does everything have to be viewed in terms of being a masculine or feminine activity or trait? Why does everything have to be a competition? It makes me laugh and it makes me angry in equal measure.

I’d add, it doesn’t even have to be aggressive for men to feel slighted by women. I’ve seen men put down their weights and pick up the heavier ones I was using, then struggle to use them. I mean, really? You’d do yourself an injury not to be out-weight-lifted by a woman?

I’m sure I’m going to get punched one day! Sadly for them, I have a decent right hook too.

I once had a van driver tailgate me through a speed camera and at the approach to a roundabout. I’d had enough, got out and asked him what his fucking problem was. He got out of his van, towering over me. I folded my arms and just looked at him.

He got back in his van, shut the door and wound up his window

By no means do I advocate women putting themselves at risk but most of these bully boys back down pretty damn sharpish when they realise you aren’t scared of them. (In both of the scenarios I described, I was in a very public place with witnesses, which does help.)

Oh god, yes I'd be incensed.

The gym I go to now is pretty nice and not macho even though there are more men than women who go. They are mostly quite young - I like to think perhaps Gen Z lads are better, at least they just don't seem bothered about anyone else there and I've never seen someone get in someone's face or offer unsolicited advice. Not that I stare at what other people are doing either but I do keep a general eye out for others, particularly at times when the gym is unstaffed.

The only thing that has happened there was when it was quite busy a guy was using two pieces of equipment - alternating between floor work and a machine, leaving his jumper on the back of the machine, and this went on for ages, as if he was in his personal gym at home. Like I'd done several of my other weights and ten minutes on the treadmill in the time he was occupying it, so he'd definitely gone beyond the 20 minutes for each piece of equipment etiquette. Finally I really needed to go on that machine, so just pretended I didn't see him or his jumper while he was doing the floor exercise and started doing my sets. Of course he jumped up and told me he was using the machine. So I said "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you had finished," and smiled sweetly, and finished off what I needed to do on the machine in my own time. He couldn't really do anything else but stand there seething, unless he wanted to try lifting me off the machine as a more challenging workout. I've never seen him in there again.

The sort of crap I had when I was younger ranged from one guy openly staring at my crotch every time I was there, the whole time I was there, to lots of unsolicited "advice".

Where do you all live? Can't say I've experienced being punished out of the way or felt flustered by someone being too close. Perhaps people where I live are just nicer or perhaps I'm so old they feel sorry for me.

Well, MN readership is global though I'd guess mostly in the UK. I think it's safe to say that people on this thread do not live in the same town particularly full of boorish men and that unfortunately these men are everywhere.

Oddly the worst supermarket for men being rude is Waitrose, for me. I have had no issue in Tesco, Lidl, Aldi or Sainsbury's whatsoever. I don't even shop in there very often but three or four times a man pushing a trolley has tried to shunt me along with the trolley in the till queue. Perhaps it's the same man and he does it every time he's there, the Phantom Trolley Shunter of Old Waitrose Town, but I doubt it.

Sadly, holding them under the water until the bubbles stop…

😂oh I wish ,

He was even more incensed that I'd stood up to him in front of everyone
That's the one isn't it, he's happy to humiliate you but he can't cope if you turn the tables.
It can be a dangerous move, some men are likely to snap if you make them look stupid in front of other people.
(I'm not saying they don't richly deserve it, but safety first)

Swim lanes are the worst!

Oh god, yes. I got into a shouting match with a man at the pool because he tried to push in front of me - he literally just swam across from his lane into mine, knocking me out the way. He was even more incensed that I'd stood up to him in front of everyone. Then there was the man who used to plough up and down in a snorkel and flippers, giving the sort of water displacement you'd associate with a drowning babboon, and woe betide anyone who got in his way.

Someone I used to know actually had a man swim over the top of her.

Being able to swim faster than a man really seems to push their buttons. Sadly, holding them under the water until the bubbles stop isn't accepted pool etiquette.

Yeah this. ^ How bizarre to say if you're 6 foot 1 that you constantly bump into short people because you can't see them!!! PMSL! 😆😂

What a horrible disgusting man who clearly had an issue with a female addressing his rude behaviour.

What a dickhead he was. You did brilliantly.

If it’s any comfort, the coward will think twice before trying the same on another woman.

I would have threatened to call the police - what a nasty piece of work. Sorry that happened to you.

To be clear, if I hadn't been alone with DD I like to think I would have acted differently.

@CharDee It's scary they think they can get away with that in a public place, seemingly increasingly. Luckily the guy saw and actually did something. I always regret not intervening when I saw a man pulling a woman along the pavement by her hair calling her a "fucking bitch" etc etc. I was with toddler DD at the time and he was right outside the police station. Other pedestrians turned to see it all too and no one stopped him while we were in sight. So horrific and still plagues me.

"As many of the posts show as soon as another man pops up the aggression is curtailed so men don't understand how prevalent this is."

That is such a good point! Had never occurred to me before, but you're absolutely right.

@CharDee gosh that's so awful I can imagine how much your heart must have been pounding.

Obviously a horrible aggressive man. Pity the mother of that child.

I think many men have no idea how often this type of thing happens to women and how much we moderate our behaviour in anticipation of it potentially occurring.

As many of the posts show as soon as another man pops up the aggression is curtailed so men don't understand how prevalent this is.

Showed it as much as I could have!

I was at the cinema with DS and a man behind me was with a boy around 4 or 5. The man was on his phone, as in making and answering calls. He was not making an effort to speak quietly, in fact he was talking louder because of the noise of the film, so it was very distracting and just rude. I turned around and asked "Would you please mind taking that outside to talk or just end your call? I can't hear the film." He replied "Shut the fuck up and turn around you fat slag." I did turn back around because I was with DS, it was a child's film so there were loads of kids in there and I didn't want to make a big scene. My plan was to go and get someone but in the 5 seconds from me turning round he had ended his call with a "Fucks sake, I'll have to call you back later."

About 10 minutes pass and his phone rings again, it was not on silent. He answers and starts talking again. Before I have a chance, a man sat on my row turns around and says "Mate, were trying to watch this. Get off your phone." This man was not called a fat slag or told to fuck off and he didn't talk on his phone again but I did hear it ding a few times.

At the end of the film, we left and walked out. He stops me in the foyer and gets right up in my face and says "Don't you ever fucking speak to me like that again you stupid bitch." I just laughed in his face and said "I am so embarrassed for you." He didn't like this very much and his face literally went red with how angry he was, I went to walk away and he stepped to the side to block me and did this again when I tried to move.

I said "I'm trying to get past, so you need to move out of my way please." He then said "You're not going anywhere, you're going to apologise to me."

Now it's a big foyer so I can quite easily get around him but I genuinely think he would have chased me round like we were playing tag or something to stop me from moving because he was clearly unhinged. So I went to walk around him and he stepped in front of me again. Another man walked past and saw and looked at me and asked if I was ok. I said "No, this man seems to be upset with me and apparently isn't going to let me leave." He then said "You're ok love, you can walk away and he won't stop you this time." So I did and unsurprisingly the other man didn't stop me. But he did shout after me
"Yeah walk away you stupid bitch."

I feel so sorry for the boy he was with if that's the example set for him. DS said afterwards that he was scared the man was going to hit me and asked me if I was scared. I definitely was but don't think I