I know this will probably annoy some people and I'm fully expecting some harsh comments, but I would appreciate your advice nonetheless.
I also appreciate I'm fortunate to have had financial assistance from family already. Sorry if this is long but I want to give the full story.
My parents were alcoholics and divorced when I was 4 years old. My dad moved away soon after and we didn’t see or speak to each other for over 20 years. My mum raised me by herself whilst working a full time job as a carer and my dad didn't contribute any money etc.
Fast forward to now, I'm 29, work full time and have lived alone since I was 19. I wish I'd stayed at home and saved instead to buy my own place but unfortunately I just couldn't live there anymore due to my mums problems (thankfully, she doesn't drink anymore - Dad still does). I moved into a flat which I rented for 5 years and then moved to a family members house which I'm still renting but they want to sell soon. I have always tried to save a bit of money each month but as we all know, it’s not easy whilst paying rent/bills.
I have been trying for the last 3.5 years to buy my own place but it’s just not happened and there seems to have been an obstacle at every junction if I’m honest. I managed to save a 5% deposit on my own but the banks would only lend 90k so my choice was very limited. I know I would have bought somewhere by now if I had a partner but I can’t wait for Mr Right to come along can I. Nonetheless back in 2020, I found a flat within my budget but there were issues with the leasehold and I couldn’t get a mortgage on the property. Then property prices shot up not long after. My Dad and I started speaking again a year later and decided to work on our relationship, and a few months later he offered me money as he could see I was struggling to get on the ladder by myself. He gave me 30k.
Since then I have offered on a few properties but have been outbid as they’ve all gone to best and final. I was then made redundant and was out of work for a couple of months. I managed to find another job but had to take a pay cut, which has made things even harder and reduced my borrowing power. I know it sounds great having all this money in the bank by the way but I’d rather have a nice (nothing fancy) little flat or house and financial security if I’m honest. I don’t really have luxuries or buy myself nice things very often - haven’t been on holiday since 2016, don’t get my hair/nails done, don’t drink etc. I know it might sound silly to a lot of people, but this is my priority.
Anyway, fast forward to today and I’m no closer to getting on the ladder than I was 4 years ago, well that’s how it feels anyway. The point that I’m getting at is that my dad has indicated to me a few times that the money he’s already given me isn’t all of my inheritance and I will get more when he dies. I don’t know how much. For context, my dad has had his own company for over 30 years which is worth around 3 million (his words). He’s made a few comments which indicates that he’s not short of money (for example, said his pension goes in the bank every week but he has no idea how much there is and doesn’t touch/need it etc)
I am meeting him later today and have been debating on whether to ask him for more money as it would make a huge difference to my life now (not in 10, 20 or 30 years time) and make it so much easier for me to buy somewhere. I know this means I’d be written out of his will if he agrees to it. A part of me feels cheeky/entitled for asking but I won’t know unless I ask. I know I’m lucky to be getting anything by the way and as I said, I’m fully expecting some harsh responses, but AIBU? If not, how would you approach this?
Thank you