To think it’s pushy to demand all my holiday information?

Just simply don't play along. A simple 'I'm not letting your anxiety become mine with these unnecessary need to know requests you've making. See you when I'm back'. Stop letting this woman have any input, in your mid fifties it sounds like you've been conditioned to think her behaviour is normal. It isn't.

I never saw it as important to give out all the information, I’m 38 now, but mum has always asked DB and me for travel info, but both ny parents was in a car crash a few years ago and since then I’ve asked her for all in for when she goes away too. I’ve even installed a ring camera so I know when they have arrived home so I don’t have to worry about them. I don’t know if your mum is controlling or just worried, big difference though

My adult DC always tell me where they are staying, flight details etc. I don’t ask for it, but it just seems normal.

However, no way would I ever provide this information to my own mother who is a controlling narcissist.

So I wonder if this is a symptom of a much wider/deeper issue that needs addressing? Otherwise I don’t see why this would bother you so much.

We just let FIL know we've safely landed, and occasionally send a nice photo

Thinking about it, my DD's always tell me their flight number's too and I plagued with WhatsApps daily full of photos. I think it's odd not to share

Many years ago, my sister was on holiday when my grandfather became very ill. We could not get hold of her (before mobile phones existed) as we didn’t have the details of where she was. I picked her up from the airport and had to tell her he’d died the day before. She was devastated.
My DDs send me their flight and hotel details whenever they go away and vice versa. It’s reassuring.

My Mum also always wants to know what time we fly and it's out of nothing more than so she can work backwards by her own standards and start asking if we've checked in / have we gone through security / are we on our way to the airport hours ahead.

I don't appreciate or need that level of faux concern when we're enjoying the last of our trip, or travelling to the airport or I'm in a meeting (I also travel for business) so I just don't tell her anymore.

To me it’s a perfectly sensible thing to do. Plus I enjoy tracking planes on apps! Mobile phones are not the answer to everything. In the (hopefully unlikely) event of any problems abroad and issues with the mobile network, I would like to be able to be able to report where my family were and what flights they were due on rather than “I’m not sure exactly where they are are or which flights they were due back on.” For a matter of a minutes work it just makes sense. Hopefully will never need that info, but at least it’s there if it is.

This was pretty normal years ago, I can remember my grandparents coming around with the "important" documents eg wills and a piece of paper with flights, hotel name telephone number and tour operator before trips, and my mum always tells me which airline, dates and tour operator though of course they have mobile phones so nothing more needed, always tell her at least dates and location, the tour operator if it's a package. I find it odd not to let someone know!

In these days of gdpr the hotel concierge wouldn't even be able to give out info to op's dm. So even if op was uncontactable on her phone (serious accident etc) then the hotel address would be no use. They wouldn't be able to tell her which hospital op had been sent to (even if they knew).

It's useless info. Op, explain this to your mum...!

We always used to share this information with my parents (and vice versa if they were the ones travelling). DS gave us his flight details last year when he went in his post A-levels holiday with his mates

In what sort of emergency would op be contactable at her hotel but not on her own mobile phone?

If she has such a serious accident that she can't answer a text (god forbid) then she'd be in a hospital, not in her hotel. And in any case op's dm could contact her travelling companion first if applicable.

So why is the hotel address useful?

It used to be useful in the days before mobile phones, I grant you.

It was always standard information that I'd leave with my adult daughters. More recently I don't always book my accommodation in advance as I backpack and move around, but I message them and send the occasional photo.

I think that having the flight numbers and accommodation is a reasonable security blanket so that she knows you can be reached in an emergency/knows that you're safety there/home. You don't have to be a highly anxious person to appreciate having that info.

My dad always asks for this stuff. I don’t mind at all I think it’s sweet. Totally get that wider things going on in the relationship would impact how it feels though.

Why are you uneasy, do you think she is going to turn up to surprise you? 😱
Sharing details is just someone everyone used to do. My mum and grandmother always share details, as my grandmother isn't good particularly on her ipad.

Yanbu OP this is very odd. My own dm has a lot of anxiety but she wouldn't ask for this.

If she needs me, she can call me or my dh - why does it matter which flight I'm on or which hotel I'm in?

At most I might text her just before I get on a flight to say - I won't be able to text back for the next 6h or whatever.

Needing the hotel address just doesn't make sense in the days of mobile phones.

I think this is a generational thing. I always provide my mum with the same details to stop her fretting too

Well, in extremis they would know we were on a crashed flight, or not.

They can't necessarily do anything otherwise, but they like it and it is no problem to us at all. I'm normally writing the info out for ourselves anyway.

What would they do with the disrupted flight information that you couldn't tell them?

I never do... Never seen the need....

Apart from maybe have a nose on flight tracker or a browse of the hotel etc... what do they need it for?

your mother lives alone
your mother is in her mid eighties
Your mother recently suffered a heart attack

We always send my parents our holiday schedule.
. It helps them enjoy our holiday alongside
. If there were major flight issues they could check whether our flight was impacted
. Does no harm.

No, I don’t think texting daily and demanding information is normal mother/grown up child behaviour. She should be able to recognise that if you’ve not given information, you’re not going to, and she’s not entitled to it.

Anxiety can be - purposefully or accidentally - very controlling.

A family member of mine used to travel frequently for work/leisure and would often send me such details in case of emergencies. It didnt occur to me to start googling anything.

Totally normal if she's always been anxious and always been this way