To think it’s pushy to demand all my holiday information?

I always tell my mum the name of the hotel and flight info - as she does to me. However absolutely no backstory of controlling behaviour etc.

Ah that's interesting @TinyGingerCat , some of my family members were on the flight before.

To this day that is probably why I get a little hand written slip with their travel details on. It's just good sense. Knowledge is power and all that, t really shook them up.

I think OP, if the poster is right about your mum being in her eighties and having just had a heart attack and therefore being very vulnerable, the best idea would have been to furnish her with all of the info before travelling.

My mum has got a bit like this now she’s getting older (into her 80s). I suspect she’s anxious that she won’t be able to get into contact with me in an emergency. It’s a bit annoying but I figure I’d rather give her the info than have her working herself into a state and perhaps damaging her health as a consequence.

Slightly pushy to bombard you with messages while you are away, but I don’t think it’s an issue to give parents your details

I always do but it’s because my mum enjoys looking at the photos online of the hotel and my dad is one of those people who can lose hours tracking planes in Flight Radar, even more so if someone he knows is on one of the flights

We always go no contact for everyone when on holidays.

Leave an envelope with your mother (or another person) with flight information, address, passport copies, etc for her to open should there be an emergency such as you lose your passport or someone dies.

It is not acceptable to bother people on holidays.

I tell my siblings (no parents still alive) but they don’t reciprocate. I’d not realised until now!

I don’t think it’s a big deal tbh, just tell your mum as soon as you book it and leave it at that

I think it is just a hangover from the days before mobile phones. You always gave these details to your loved ones. I remember when it was so expensive to phone home from abroad that you phoned once when you got there and once on the day before you left.

We still take those details from our adult DSs and their partners and it is only after reading this thread I asked myself why, and there is no reason why really now mobile phones are a thing. We have usually been involved in their holiday selection process anyway, so it is not nosiness. We will message each other, or I will see their Insta stories most days, so we know they are safe and well. It just habit, plain and simple.

I like sending them the details when they ask, it is a micro sign of their love for us.

You think that's bad. My mother tries to find out where I'm working and what hours (it varies due to the nature of my work). Do you know why? So she can listen to the traffic reports in case there's an accident. Batshit right?
Same with holidays, the first thing my parents do is check trip advisor and find bad reviews.
It's not always harmless imparting such information. Some parents are control freaks.
I'm stealing the term information diet! That's sadly exactly where we are, they now know next to nothing about my life as they can't seem to help themselves giving out unsolicited advice and pointing out all negative possibilities. It's like having a controlling husband.

As a teenager my family flew the same day as the Lockerbie disaster (we were on the next plane out after the poor passengers on that plane and had been in the departure lounge with them). My GPs all thought we were dead as we hadn't left any details of the flights with them, other than a vague we are going to the USA. We didn't know about the disaster until hours later after we were finally at our hotel and turned on the tv. Ever since then I have always left my flight details with someone. I realise this is an extreme example but after seeing the distress it caused for GPs not knowing even for only a few hours I now just forward on the confirmation details to my mum and MIL. It's hardly a lot of work. My MIL checking the weather forecast where we are and texting us about it on the other hand......so I do understand the annoyance

I don’t text anyone daily when I’m on holiday. Because I’m on holiday. Next time say you’re leaving the phone behind. (Want a proper break or can’t use it in the country you’re going to.) And your friend booked the hotel so you don’t know the name.

It's ridiculous. Next time you go away, just don't tell her about it.... problem solved.

My late mother would ask for all of this and would always furnish the same if she was away.

My Mil does this, I haven’t realised you can do this until she told me 🤣. She lives alone and just bored.

I think pre mobile phones and wider Internet use it was common to tell someone your flight details and where you were staying so from that point of view I can see why an older person might ask. However, your dm seems to be trying to insert herself into your holiday and I sense that you feel a bit controlled by her. You don't need to respond to every text message op. You also don't have to share all of your information with her. Just say 'there's no need for all that these days Mum' or if she gets cranky from not hearing from you remind her that no news is good news. I always have to remind my dm that if the worst case scenario that she could think of occurred she would be one of the first people to find out.

My late mother was like this, well requesting, not demanding, but purely because she worried about us ( also in our 50s). I gave them to her. No skin off my nose, made absolutely no difference to me and pacified her.

Why the drama?

Quite normal, especially as parents get older. Same in my family, my parents are in their 80s but still travel regularly and we'd always share flight and hotel details before a trip. Try to reframe it as coming from a place of love and concern.

Single female traveling alone very sensible to give someone the details. Not necessarily your mother though. It depends on the relationship if my friend asks me travel plans and logistics it is genuine curiosity possible travel recommendations shared. My elderly (controlling) parents do this it is for the purpose of tracking and being overly involved in something which is not to do with them. In the first relationship I share freely and excitedly. In the second I don't play the game anymore! Information diet. If it feels intrusive and unnessary (ass pp have said unless for safety) it probably is!

And thinking about it, I have no kids.

Someday I will no one to send my flight details to and no one to text me to say "you've landed hope you had a safe flight" and that's quite sad. 😢 my sister won't care!

I always used to give my mum details of where I was staying etc. Nowadays I tend to just email my sister with all the booking details, hotel etc.

@wubwubwub The reason we do it so they know where you are in case of an emergency. I guess it predates when we all had mobile phones and it wasn’t so easy to get hold of one another.

My mum is about the same age as yours.
I usually tell something like next weekend we are going to Ibiza for about a week. I wouldn’t say time of flights and exact place. Then I txt/ call that we arrived safely and send some photos once in a few days. Then I call straight away when we arrived home. I always followed this pattern and it was ok.
However I always travel with my DH. Are you traveling alone? If yes, maybe it makes your mum more anxious.
Also my mum is not in UK so generally she doesn’t know many details about my life, distance makes our communication more vague. My sibling lives near her - mum is much more involved in their lives. if you are the only child I can imagine focus on you is much heavier.

It depends on your relationship.

I always forward confirmation emails to my mum and DC and vice versa. In the past I would write it all down.

It has always been the norm for us. Most of the time we don't look at it at all, but it is there if needed.

Yeah it's sensible.

My parents (75) wanted it when I go abroad. They also track my flights via something and can see when we did an attempted landing then went quickly back up last time!

It's a fairly easy thing to provide so I do it. And sensible for someone to have it too.

When I travel abroad for work I give my travel info to my DH, and when we travel as a family do give this type of info to my DM. We might send her a postcard or text a couple of pics if we remember, but definitely not daily texts for a long weekend - we're on holiday!

But then we do ask the DC to "text us when you're back at your flat" when they return to Uni after a weekend visit - I'm sure it drives them bonkers!

So the police know where to start looking, instead of having to get a warrant to hack into OP’s gmail, or booking.com account. The hotel will be able to tell the police if OP has checked out or not, and may have CCTV.

The flight number is to see if the plane has crashed.

I know this is highly unlikely to ever be necessary, and I don’t do it myself, but that’s why people want the information.