DP wants more money

No it doesn't. The OP is basically a lodger.

i don’t agree you should pay half the mortgage without being on it. I have my own house. My partner pays half the bills but not a penny to the mortgage. He asked to be added but having been burnt before I said no. Agreement is he doesn’t pay any mortgage or the renovation costs of the house. He isn’t financially benefitting at the point of sale and my conscious wouldn’t allow me to take his money. Ask to be added to the mortgage if he says no withdraw all payments. Ps you might be able to make a legal claim to the house as you have been contributing to the mortgage. Get some legal advice 😊

Are you a lawyer? I checked it.

Renovations that add value are not the only way you can create an implied trust - it can be contribution to the purchase price or to the mortgage. It can also be purely from the intention of both parties which isn’t the case here.

Where is the love in this relationship? Honestly OP, find a better partner.

Without a will - if he died without leaving a will as things stand now.
Rules of intestacy would be applied by the state.
His bank accounts would be frozen
Even if you have a joint account everything would be frozen while it goes through probate.
His children would inherit the house ( I am assuming they have a mother, she would probably be appointed a trustee if they are under 18 )
She may have claim on the house ( op does give enough info for further comment ) did dp buy house with kids mother- is she on the title deeds
You, your children would have no claim on the property or assets as everything would go to his children ( defacto their guardians if under 18 ).
His family would not have a claim.
I am dealing with an estate with no will myself at the moment.

This is the kind of issue in a relationship that leads to resentment and ultimately it’s breakdown.

i have no idea of the legalities over showing you the total bills and whether that could lead to you having a claim on the property. Smells like bullshit to me, I’d want to know the truth about that statement as that’s the most sensible thing to do and you suspect he doesn’t want you to see as you already pay more than necessary.

If OP is safe and she and her children are content it doesn't make sense to jump into the private rental market "today" as some posters have ludicrously suggested. But she does need to have a contingency plan.

The bloke has two kids and presumably wants to protect the equity in the house for them so it's not as straightforward as "putting her on the deeds".

I think the advice would be quite different if the sexes were reversed, however, OP has been naive and her P is grabby. Both need to wise up.

If he dies tomorrow with no will his children would benefit but would have to fight for that. Unless he gets a will done you won’t be entitled to anything. It would only come direct to you if you were married. He must get a will done if his intention is that you should get “everything”

make sure to take the sofa with you when you leave

If you are contributing to his mortgage that entitles you to an equitable interest in the property. However, you'd have to go to court to quantify it. Don't just pay the bills and don't let him know you know. Try and get something in a text exchange to confirm the money you're paying is half the mortgage and bills.

I have no assets and not much experience in this department, but it doesn't sit right that you're paying into his mortgage. If you are, it should be in some kind of contract where you get back your contributions if you split. Not worth it.. if he wants to know a figure your happy with, perhaps 70% of utilities (as you have kids and he doesn't) and nothing on the mortgage. Buy your own food for you and kids and go down to the bone so he pays half of exactly what he eats. Doesn't sound like much of a life. I'd be making plans to get out and rent somewhere or save up a decent amount for a deposit.

This is legally not true. If you’re not named on the mortgage or deeds and you’re not married you would have no claim on the property. You MAY be able to make a claim if you’ve paid for work that adds value to the property. It’s one of the biggest misconceptions of UK law

This doesn't sound right at all.
I'd be moving out with the sofa. Surely renting is far better than being taken advantage of.

Op you still sound very blase’ with money.
4k for a sofa in someone else’s house…. Madness
If you’re saving save don’t waste. I don’t think you know what you want

She is benefitting though, she'd have rent to pay otherwise Personally I wouldn't move in until I was at a point in the relationship where we both were prepared to share everything.

Why are you paying half of a mortgage you have no right to and would end up homeless if get kicked out? What on earth where you thinking when you got into such a very beneficial agreement for him?

That sofa is nearly a flat deposit surely?

I'm sorry, OP, sounds like a terrible situation.

Even if you split mortgage/bills equally it would still be very unfair for you. He is slowly buying a house, you are helping him, but you will be left with 0 house at the end of it.

Especially considering you have kids and want financial security for them, things need to change. Personally, I would be considering a break up, but if you don't want that there are other options.

a) He could sell his house and you could buy somewhere together. b) You could move out and buy your own place, but still remain in a relationship. c) You could change your legal status through marriage or putting your name on the deed to the house.

I'm sure there are other possibilities that I haven't thought of. Basically, things need to change so that they are fair for everyone involved. Probably best to get legal advice and discuss with a close friend/counsellor to help get things clear in your head. Wishing you all the best.

I’m not going to keep derailing this thread to talk about lodging, she’s not a lodger, and if she was, she’d have her own room and not have to share a bed with her landlord. The point is OP is paying more than 50% of the bills and mortgage, he wants even more, but she has no legal protections in the form of any kind of rental agreement or her name on the mortgage, and that, is not ok.

1. You are paying towards a mortgage you are not named on. Why would you want to do that?

2. You live with a man who is in emergency services and drinks too much. How on earth is this attractive?

3. You pay towards bills you have no access to. Erm.... why, again?

I agree with the poster who said you are a lodger he uses as a cash cow and a sex partner. You are, essentially, a source of income and a sex provider.

What do you get out of this arrangement, OP? What do your kids get out of it?

I'd leg it before the next bill you are not allowed to see comes in.

I think his attitude is off and his refusal to let you see the bills a financial abuse red flag tbh.

Does he earn less then you?
A fair amount would be a proportional percentage of what you both earn towards all household outgoings. So if you earn more you would pay more and if he earns more he would, but considering you have no security or assets and he does, then a savings contribution for you should be factored into the household outgoings.

Also unless he puts your name on the deeds of the house then you shouldn't have to contribute to the mortgage. That's not a family household outgoing, it's something he is buying for himself.

The fact that you’re paying into a mortgage when you have absolutely no legal right to the house is INSANE.

You’ve wasted thousands of pounds paying into a home that you don’t even own! What are you thinking??

Either he puts you on the deeds (he won’t) you marry him (very stupid idea) or you leave - the only thing you should be doing right now is planning to leave him and get your own property.

In the meantime STOP paying for the bloody mortgage. Did you not get any financial advice before moving your children in with this man?? Absolute madness.

Legally, you stand exactly where my grandma did.
She paid half of everything, seemed like eventually she was paying most of the food shop, and a few extra here, a few extra here. New carpet needed- she paid.
New sofa- she paid.
New kitchen- she paid.

OBVIOUSLY he would see she was OK if anything happened to him..obviously!!

They'd been together 30 odd years, he died. He didn't even tell her until he knew it was terminal.

She had no rights and was turfed out by his kids very quickly after.

She had no rights to his property at all, and was pretty much treated as though she had been a lodger.

Sorry but as much as he’s being unreasonable, I think you’re really stupid to be contributing to the mortgage of another adult WHEN YOU ARE NOT NAMED ON THE DEEDS. You need to get married, or get added to the deeds; or stop paying towards his mortgage

Why? Just why?

The OP could- and should, IMO- get out of this asap.

Get together a deposit for a rental for her and her children, and just leave.

Any more contributions are a waste of her income.

This is not a relationship that is going to end happily ever after and the sooner she's out of it, the better.