I've been with DP for 5 years and we've been living together for 6 months.
He moved into my house with his 2 boys- one of which lives with us full time.
I also have 2 children and it was a terrible trauma for me when the court mandated 50/50 time with their dad who was very abusive to me.
So I have issues that I'm with DP's children more than my own.
I also have autism so I'm aware I get most situations wrong in other people's eyes.
I've been feeling increasingly uncomfortable about his children being here- and I thought what would help me would be if we had an end date. So they moved out when they were 18. His oldest is 15.
Well DP has lost the plot about that - and now it feels like we're breaking up.
From his side- you can't say that to a child (I explained they'd be an adult by that point). It proves I don't love his children- and I should never have gotten involved with someone with children if that's how I feel. And it proves they're not wanted here.
From my side- I've spent years getting out of an abusive relationship. I do not want to live the rest of my life with a man who is neither my partner nor my child. And surely I have the right to make that decision about my own life.
For the record the 15 year old has a great relationship with his mum who lives nearby. So why doesn't he live with her age 18!!! (Basically because my house is nicer).
And myself and my siblings all left home at 18, went to Uni then got jobs. But this boy has no plans to go to Uni.
Anyway I'm really doubting myself now and feel horrified about my relationship ending over this.