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Terrified i'm dying!!!!

697 replies

Lostmymind11 · 16/02/2024 16:37

Sorry if this is on the wrong thread but i'm not sure where to put it

Nearly 2yrs ago i had surgery to remove a sarcoma (no treatment afterwards as not needed). My 6 month scan was clear and i had another scan 4wks ago to check if it had come back. The hospital have rang today and told me they had booked me in next Friday to see a member of the surgery team. I am abaolutely terrified and beside myself with worry. I am a single parent to a very young child who has no contact with dad due to domestic abuse. I barely have any family/friend support. If the cancer is back i really don't know what i will do. I feel physically ill

OP posts:
Clarice99 · 23/02/2024 07:38

I've only just seen your thread. The wait must have been really difficult for you.

Wishing you good luck for today @Lostmymind11 💐

Bathsheba1878 · 23/02/2024 07:37

Really hope your worries are unfounded. When you’re a single parent the thought of being seriously ill is truly terrifying. Many of us have experienced this and it is a fear like no other.
All over the country there are people thinking of you this morning, sending positive thoughts and wishing you all the best.

itsgettingweird · 23/02/2024 07:36

Hope all goes well today. Flowers

AGreatUsername · 23/02/2024 07:33

Best of luck OP. I am on the cancer train and the conveyance of results seems to have little relation to whether they are good or bad so I hope it is nothing! There is a cancer support thread in general health if you want some support, it’s a lovely kind place!

ArchetypalBusyMum · 23/02/2024 07:30

Good luck today. 💐
If you don't have someone going with you, all of you can record the conversation because when you are in a heightened emotional state it is really common to barely remember a conversation. You could have the appointment and then go home and struggle to recall a thing that was said.
They usually show a partner to take notes etc.
All the best. Nearly over with now.

Namechange285 · 23/02/2024 07:26

Only just seen your thread but wanted to wish you good luck for today. Well done for getting through the last week's wait. Will be keeping everything crossed for a positive outcome for you

Marcipex · 23/02/2024 07:08

Sending a hug x
Totally get your fear and I admit I would be the same.

Ilovegoldies · 23/02/2024 07:01

I just wanted to wish you all the best. I had a suspicious mole removed privately. I was told it would take 2 weeks for results. A week later they rang but I missed them. When I called back I couldn't get hold of the Dr. He had gone away on a long weekend. I was convinced it was bad news so I understand the terror. Just look at it as regardless of outcome you are all the better for having the scan than something being unchecked.

ClockworkDisaster · 23/02/2024 06:58

Fingers crossed for today 🤞

PaintInColour · 23/02/2024 06:54

Sending hugs. Well done for getting through this wait. Thinking of you and fingers crossed xx

AhBiscuits · 23/02/2024 06:53

Good luck.
Everything crossed for you 🍀

HelenaJustina · 23/02/2024 06:50

Good luck for today Flowers

Lostmymind11 · 23/02/2024 06:46

Thank you everyone

OP posts:
hmb255 · 23/02/2024 00:01

Good luck for tomorrow OP

Strokethefurrywall · 22/02/2024 23:54

I'm thinking of you too OP - sending strength for tomorrow and a positive outcome 🙏🏼

poetryandwine · 22/02/2024 23:38

Hi, OP -

I just read your post and I wanted to wish you the best for tomorrow. I agree that with the NHS on its knees anything could happen, but I too would hope that you’d have been recalled sooner if there were a problem.

Worst case, they have caught it early. There is a lot of cancer in my family. DH has been through the wringer and hopefully come through, and DF’s side of the family has too many examples of this awful disease.

But on a positive note, DF himself had his sarcoma return after nearly 15 years, so his checks had stopped and it wasn’t caught early. He is over 80 and has been living with Stage 4 sarcoma for nearly 10 years. It barely affects his life; he gets radiation to his lungs every few months and has some fatigue around that but so far, so good. He still plays golf and a mild version of tennis. His oncologist doesn’t seem very worried.

Even if your cancer is back there is no reason to worry that it has advanced. But it is no longer true that Stage 4 cancer is always terminal, though sadly that is too often the case.

Objectrelations · 22/02/2024 23:17

Good luck.
My circs are similar to yours in terms of domestic set up so I really get your fear.

Seabreeze18 · 22/02/2024 22:48

Thinking of you for tomorrow and keeping everything crossed 🌺

Strugglebus · 22/02/2024 22:43

I’ll be thinking of you. Really hope all is well and that by lunch time tomorrow you’ll be feeling so much better about it all.

stayathomegardener · 22/02/2024 14:19

Hand hold for tomorrow.

Coffeeisnecessary · 22/02/2024 14:00

Really hope tomorrow goes well for you. Awful to leave you worrying so long. Sending hugs and strength.

letstrythatagain · 22/02/2024 09:57

Lostmymind11 · 22/02/2024 07:54

Thank you everyone. My appointment is tomorrow morning and i haven't slept all week after convinving myself i'm dying. What if the consultant has only just seen my scan last week and are now panicking there is something on there and they have left it 4wks. I know the nhs is stretched and short staffed. I have to go to work now and pretend everything is ok and its so hard

All the best for tomorrow. I can really understand the worry as I recently went through similar (with a good outcome thank goodness) but the wait is terrible. 💐💐

ThisIsOk · 22/02/2024 08:33

Lostmymind11 · 22/02/2024 07:54

Thank you everyone. My appointment is tomorrow morning and i haven't slept all week after convinving myself i'm dying. What if the consultant has only just seen my scan last week and are now panicking there is something on there and they have left it 4wks. I know the nhs is stretched and short staffed. I have to go to work now and pretend everything is ok and its so hard

As I said in my response, if there was something very concerning then the radiographer who was doing your scan would have most likely seen it and contacted your Surgical Team there and then to inform them.

Although it is not the Radiographer’s job to write up the reports on the scans, in most cases they will still recognise something worrisome when they see it on their screen, and if the scan was oncology related they’d be even more vigilant about looking for anything suspicious and would have contacted your Team straight away.

I understand that the receptionist / secretary can’t discuss your results with you over the phone (confidentiality reasons as well as others) but perhaps if you call back and explain how worried you are, she may be able to get the Consultant or one of their team to call you to reassure you.

And realistically, if there was a tumour reoccurrence (or something along those lines) then it’s unlikely they would have just sent out a routine letter appointment for you to be seen in 7days time, they would likely have phoned you to discuss it with you straight away, especially if treatment was urgent so that it could begin as soon as possible.

I recently had a very suspicious mole and I had to go to a clinic and have photographs taken of it which would then be sent to a consultant to be reviewed. The nurse told me that I would usually hear back in two weeks via letter which would tell me if I’d need to go to a face-to-face appointment, or whether the doctor was happy it was nothing suspicious and that he didn’t need to see me. About 3 days later I got a letter saying the Consultant wanted to see me and my appointment was only in another two days time. The doctor’s name on the letter was a dermatology oncologist so I was automatically terrified. Due to the speed I had been contacted and them wanting to see me so quickly (within 5 days of my photographs having been done) I was absolutely petrified and I was convinced it would be cancer.

When I got to my appointment I was so scared and when I went in to see the Consultant I was nearly in tears. However, he sat me down, had a look and feel of my mole and told me it was fine. I wasn’t even with him for 5 minutes.

I only give you this example to show a) how quickly the processes take place when it comes to anything oncology related and b) that wanting to be seen doesn’t always mean worst case scenario, although it’s natural to assume it does.

This is of course all speculation, and things may be very different in the area you live and based on what your original diagnosis was, but I guess I just want to reassure you that it may not be as bad as you think.

Nobody on here will be able to stop you worrying because of course that’s the emotional state you are going to be in, but I suppose we all just want to offer support.

I’m really sorry you are losing sleep over it and it’s understandable.

I would call the hospital again and really lay it on thick about how worried and upset you are and how you haven’t been sleeping and beg for someone to call you to discuss the results. I would explain that you can’t live like this for even another day because the not-knowing is unbearable. I’m sure the secretary will be sympathetic to you and try and arrange for someone from your surgical team to call you.

I will be thinking of you OP and keeping my fingers crossed 💐

Lostmymind11 · 22/02/2024 07:54

Thank you everyone. My appointment is tomorrow morning and i haven't slept all week after convinving myself i'm dying. What if the consultant has only just seen my scan last week and are now panicking there is something on there and they have left it 4wks. I know the nhs is stretched and short staffed. I have to go to work now and pretend everything is ok and its so hard

OP posts:
ThisIsOk · 21/02/2024 22:35

From my experience of working in health care, including working in MRI departments, if something shows up on a scan that looks suspicious the radiographer knows straight away and usually gets a Consultant to look at the images pretty sharpish.

On the few occasions I have been involved in where a tumour has been detected on an MRI scan, the patient was told on the same day and treatment started immediately. Sometimes even being admitted to hospital directly from the MRI department.

I too would take some comfort that it’s taken them 4 weeks to get in touch and they’re happy to wait another week to see you too.

I know it won’t stop you worrying, and they obviously want to talk to you about something, but try not to automatically think the absolute worse.

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