I just came back to check the thread and I can’t tell you how sorry I am to hear this.
Quick bit of advice: when someone hurts you while giving an injection, speak up IMMEDIATELY. Unfortunately, it could be a sign that they’ve gone right through the vein and they’re putting it into your arm. So please, please tell them. Yes, injections might be a bit uncomfortable, but if they REALLY hurt, you must tell them to stop and it’s not right. I know it’s so hard when you feel like they know everything and you’re just the patient, but it’s your body. And if you get to the point that IVs or injections are very difficult for you (but you’re not having them often enough to need a permanent line), tell them you need them to get the ultrasound, and they should have a mobile ultrasound that they can bring to you. They have to do it for my scans now, unfortunately. (Maybe you know some of this, or all of this, but I wasn’t sure since you said you didn’t need any treatment after surgery last time).
OK, all of that out of the way… I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry it hurt, I’m so sorry you had to lay in one of those awful tubes crying while it does that annoying knockknockknock noise. I’m so sorry you’ve lost half a stone and you feel like crying every time you look at your five year old. I will not say this is the hardest part of being sick, but this is a uniquely hard stage - when you don’t know JUST how bad it is. Yes, you will still be stressed once you know, but I hope it will be a different kind of stress. You’ll have more control. You’ll be able to make some choices and start to make plans, whatever those need to be. One of the hardest, most terrifying, painful things is being stuck in the waiting room of your own life, and I really hope it will not be much longer for you.
I hope the news will be the best it can possibly be, within the realm of possibility. Good luck, OP. You are never alone in the dark, even inside an MRI machine; only when it’s truly dark can we see the stars as they’re meant to be seen.