I’m sure this is so hard and confusing, for both you, OP, and @Tilllly .
I think so many people think of cancer as an outfit (in addition to the disease). It’s a bald head, and bags under the eyes so dark they look like black holes, pale skin that starts to seem fragile, stretched across bones the sicker you get.
But… it’s just not true. “Normal” looking people die of cancer. There are women who keep their hair all through chemotherapy. There are women who put on makeup every day because it’s a comfort, or because it’s armor. There are people who make cancer just look like the morning after a good night out. There just is no one way that cancer looks.
Im sure it’s hard @Tilllly . Sometimes it’s nice because you don’t want to tell the whole world about your private health, but sometimes you also wish people would just be a bit kinder, knowing your time isn’t measured in years anymore. Perhaps consider a sweater that says, “I have cancer - be more gentle with me,” for the days when that’s what you want, and then you can leave it home when you don’t. I’d salute you. (Maybe a second sweater that says, “I have cancer - stop being a dick,” for those kind of days, too).
And @Lostmymind11 , I know you don’t have the full picture yet, but I really, really hope that because it was discovered when you still feel well in yourself, that you’ll have more time and more options. Because the truth is, if there’s something in your liver, and they only discover it because you start looking jaundiced or rapidly losing weight (before the stress)… it’s not so good.
I will be thinking of you both and @Tilllly , please DM me if you ever need someone to commiserate.