To have yelled and dragged child out

You did absolutely fine. It's very hard but you did nothing wrong. You had a bad day. Anyone who claims they haven't had one as a parent is either lying or such a bad parent they can't self reflect properly.

What you can do is look at what can make things easier. I had 2 under 2 and found it easier to always have a light weight carrier in the bag. Even when we took a buggy it meant I had the option to contain both of them if needed. Backpacks with reins are good too. But there will always be times when you've got both of them inside and you do have to resort to kid under arm/ hold of wrist to keep everyone safe. And yes, occasionally you will raise your voice and that's fine too.

Also, don't worry if there are places that you find that you need more than 1 adult. I took my kids all over the place, would fly with them solo etc but I still have a few places that are on list of needing more than 1 adult.

Solidarity OP, we’ve all been there. You kept him safe, which is top priority.

Sounds like a really hard moment @Yellinginmuseum and doesn't define you as a parent

Don't be so hard on yourself. Theyre little shits and behave like it at that age and can push every button. Next time, like pp have said backpack reins for the 3 year old, make the rein abit longer with another string tied on or something as they are quite short I find. For baby get a baby sling pronto- itl save your sanity and keep you hands free for those tricky moments.

I don’t have DC but do have nieces and nephews. My DNephew is a bolter or was one. Why they didn’t use reins on him I don’t know! He narrowly missed being hit by a car once and afterwards they were far stricter with him.

I learned quickly with DNephew (5) that if I take him to eg a supermarket then I grab hold of his hand/wrist and almost pull him firmly around or he gets distracted (it’s a novelty for him being there) and I state clearly what we are getting. Doesn’t always work as he’s crafty and older than his age in thinking etc. and of course sometimes he wants to go eg to the pop up toy charity shop rather than stay in the play park! I’ve had fun with him though but I really have to be clear what we do. Or make it fun, like shopping for dinner and asking him to pick the vegetables or a cake we are going to make.

I get you feel bad you yelled and dragged him out but what else were you supposed to do and he was testing you. Sounds a typical threenager to me.

Normal mumming. Bless you op don’t beat yourself up! Unfortunately children just being children can be incredibly stressful for adults and we don’t always keep our cool. If you’re posting this I presume this is out of the ordinary for you but honestly this is my every day life with 3 under 6.

Calling someone's child 'a brat' is hard to read in 2024. It's always justified with a 'well, they were, weren't they?' or something similar.

It sounds so ill informed and lacking in any real common sense. The OP's child behaved like virtually every child has at some point.

You did what you could in the moment OP, go easy on yourself a bit.

Shit from the museum that they have no buggies. I remember we went for a (quite expensive) weekend at Warwick castle when DS was small and they made me leave my buggy out in the rain. I was furious & also concerned it might get nicked! Had to carry him all afternoon and whilst helping my disabled relative who was also there. Whilst carrying change bag and child. I won’t go back because of that! You did nothing wrong.. well done for attempting the outing!! Sounds like your 3yo had a great time. Xx

No judgement from me, my DD (now 11) was a handful at that age and I lost it a few times in public. Children love to press our buttons! It does get easier OP 😊

It’s really difficult, both of my children were runnners. It was really sad as I couldn’t do outings like that unless there were 2 adults there and it is really upsetting when the day ends in shouting and tears because it was so stressful managing two of them going in different directions.

Years ago I remember my toddler got free of My hand and bolted out of a shop towards a busy road. As I chased him I screamed his name which of course made him stop and look terrified....and made all the young shop assistants stop and glare at me as if I was a monster. Honestly, toddlers can be so unreasonable and such a danger to themselves. Anyone who's got kids would sympathise with your situation op.

God, this has just reminded me of when I was queueing for passport control on arrival in an airport, and three-year-old DD bolted past the passport booths and out the other side. I just totally froze until one of the police officers shouted at me to go and get her. 😁
I think I thought I would be arrested or gunned down or something for trying to break into the country if I ran after her. 😂

Madam Swizzler, that's a dangerous mindset to have when in a museum. I'd understand if it was on the street with the druggos and hipsters with their lattes and pop art. But a museum is a sophisticated place of intellectuals and scholars.

He has learnt that if he runs away from you, Mummy gets cross. That is an important lesson to learn at his age and not a particularly tough one. Nothing bad actually happened to him

This. Plenty of other places to go that a child would actually enjoy. Madness to take a 1yo with limited pram access. I wouldn't do that unless I had another pair of hands to help. And if I didn't then there's somewhere else to go.

I understand raising your tone to get the child's attention, but to shout at the child once they've stopped is a bit too far. Quite unpleasant for all involved. Maybe grabbing the child's arm would have been sufficient? Although I understand that also holding a baby in that scenario would be difficult.

oh stop it 😂 if a kids running off i’d rather damage their self confidence a bit than let them disappear off into a crowd of strangers ffs

Yelling after a child who's running away in a busy public place is not going to 'harm his self confidence'.

She was in traffic! Hauling her to safety by any means necessary was definitely your only course of action. Calmly talking through a tantrum in the supermarket is one thing but there is no time for that when it's not safe.

This thread has made me feel so much better. Out with 2 year old DD today who dropped to her knees in the middle of a busy road while having a tantrum. Lights were about to change and I was already frazzled, tired and carrying lots of bags so I had to half carry half drag her by the shoulder to get across the road.
Have been feeling horrifically guilty all day but this thread has reassured me. OP as others have said you’re only human and these types of situations can be incredibly stressful!

I’d have done the same. Don’t worry.

I personally think that shouting at your child in a public setting is not only awkward for you and the general public, but also potentially harmful to the child's self-confidence.

Also, a museum is supposed to be a quiet time for learning and appreciation.

Always reins. Mine would face plant but then get bored so walk again. I struggled with the backpack reins so went back to the traditional ones.

OP I feel for you, I at one point had a runner 3 yo, an 18mo, and a newborn. It's really hard and good on you for taking them out. If you talk to your 3yo a few days later about the museum trip, I can almost guarantee what they remember is NOT the two minutes you are beating yourself up about.
As for what you could do differently. A good baby carrier can be life (and back) saving. I used to keep one tucked in the car/pram so I always had it on hand.
But another suggestion - ask for help!! Having had a runner myself, I would cheerfully help another mum in that situation- step in front of the runaway small person, get down low and make a barrier of my arns, and tell them 'your grown up needs you'. I don't always, unless it's a dangerous situation like a road, because I never know which mum will appreciate it. But if that mum called out 'please stop my son' - I'd be right on it!!

Sounds like one of those days......we all had them.

Hell my youngest is 22 and I still find myself thinking I'm glad it's not one of mine being an arse today whenever I hear a kid booting off 🤣🤣🤣